Fuck E3. I hate it

Because I can’t go. But not for the reason that you’re thinking.

I didn’t used to care about not being able to go to E3. I mean sure, it’s probably cool to see everything as it’s going on, but what the hell; I’m going to find out about it all anyway. No big deal.

But the past few years, it’s really started to annoy me. Not because I’m missing out, but because it’s a harsh reminder that another year has gone by, and I’m still (surprise!) working at my mundane tech support job instead of developing games. Bitch bitch bitch.

Whining doesn’t do any good, I suppose. It’s just annoying, and from a week before E3 starts to the time it ends, every year, I get just a little bit more surly.

Ok, I’m done.


You aren’t alone.

Not me. I’m not even working in the gaming industry any more, yet I’m taking vacation time from my current job to go up to LA and cover the show as a freelancer. I just love the show in all its absurdity.

The absurdity…and the free 2 month-old magazines.
BTW, "Thrrrpptt! " is the best user name I’ve seen a in a LOOONG time.

It’s like Vegas, Anthony Robbins and Wal Mart got shoved in a blender.

To be honest, I go to meet up with friends, get drunk and make an ass of myself more than anything else…oh, and because I’ve probably been crunching on a demo for the previous few weeks and would like to see if people like it or not.

Make sure you get lots of pics of Booth Babes! (And keep your black t-shirted unshaven, fat-belly-slob-self out of them. You know who you are!)

Yeah, nothing like a bunch of pics with women who obviously are thrilled to stand on a loud show floor being oggled and groped.


‘of’ women dave… not with - we want ‘of’.

That’s close, but I once likened it to a cross between the a professional wrestling event, a glitzy Hollywood movie premiere, and that scene in every Godzilla movie where people scream, point at things, and create massive human traffic jams.

I hate it, but I’m stuck with it. :)

I told Ohle a gem of advice last year, but he fucked it up - so now I’ll share it with you…

You want to take one key item to E3 with you. Take a foot massager. Preferrably one that vibrates and has knobby things to stand on.

Now, on day 1, leave it in your hotel room - it won’t do any good. On day 2 and 3, have that with you at ALL TIMES. Every time you see a hot boothbabe looking overheated, stressed out, and in foot pain, whip that shit out. You will get laid, likely more than once.

Ohle, you were too chickenshit to follow through. Now, you’ll have competition.

Collect booth-babe panties and the masso-therapist who returns from the show with the most gets a free game from me.

Bring it on.

With as in “contained in the picture”.

Holy carp, branded foot massager would make for the most popular tchotchkes of the show. Forget key chains and tee shirts! That’s brilliant!

I’m also sorely tempted to try this out with the booth models. :)

Game development is overrated anyway.

Game development is overrated anyway.[/quote]

Valve and 3D Realms have been saying this for years.

Game development is overrated anyway.[/quote]

Valve and 3D Realms have been saying this for years.[/quote]


The two times I went to E3 on GameSpy’s dime were probably two of the best weeks of my life. I just had an absolute blast. I hate not having a piece of that action anymore, and I wish I had the hookup to get there again.

Presuming you also loose the “I eat lots of pizza while playing too much Far Cry” gut… and if you take off the all black “Half-Life 2 r0x” shirt… and if you take off your glasses… and spend a few months or so in the gym… and… you get the idea.

As someone who is currently dating a “booth babe” I have actually asked about this. She has friends that have worked at E3, comic book conventions, Star Trek conventions, and all the other places nerds hang out let me be the first to inform you from talking to a few of them: They really do hate you, it is not just an act… but let me know how that foot massager works out for ya. :)

I would add earplugs.