Funny little gaming moments

This one brought to you by Combat Mission: Beyond Barbarossa.

You’ll like this moment more if you’ve played a Combat Mission game, but it’s not necessary.

I was playing a quick match against the computer. Two platoons of my German infantry are on the edge of a field. Coming through the field at them is more infantry than I can count. The only thing I have to prevent them being overwhelmed is this thing I bought called a “Sturmtiger”. I bought it because it had a 380mm gun, and I wanted to see what it could do.

Here’s a picture of a real one.

Apparently there were very few made, and they were made to demolish buildings during firefights, developed after Stalingrad. I discover in game that they take a long, long time to reload, I’m talking on the order of multiple turns. These Russians are charging through this field in a human wave about to crush my last line of defense, and I’m shouting “reload! reload damn you!”

Next turn the Sturmtiger fires right in the middle of them, perfect shot. Unbelievablely huge explosion. The Russians surrendered next turn. I open up the map to find out that the Sturmtiger had killed 250 men in one shot. Lookit all the bodies.

I love this series.

It’s a good thing they didn’t make too many of those…

I only count about 25-30 bodies… were the rest of them reduced to gibblets?

If we’re going to trade cool little moments, I remember an IL2 mission where I was flying slow and straight and thinking mission complete, an enemy AI fighter collided with a bomber right above and behind me. All of a sudden I was in a metal fragment firestorm with bits and pieces zipping past my cockpit and then just as fast they fell out of view. By the time my adrenaline rush kicked in and started thinking of maybe pulling a maneuver, I realized I was still flying straight and true, no damage, and no danger. Coolness.

Each of those bodies represents a 10 man squad.

A Medieval:Total War battle that came down to my king and half a dozen knights versus ~300 peasants.

I wish it had taken place on Live or with teamspeak or whatever, so I could have heard my opponent roaring with rage.

When I first got Rome:Total War I was playing as Scipii and trying to take a Carthaginian province. In the battle for this province, the Carthaginian army had several units of elephants, the first I’d seen in the game. They were decimating my light and heavy infantry, and my cavalry couldn’t get around the lines and come at them from behind because of all the enemy infantry and archers massed behind the elephants.

I had a unit of War Dogs I’d picked up when passing through a city that could only make them and some light units. They’d been pretty useless, as they didn’t do a whole lot to enemy infantry or cavalry. I decided to cut them loose on the elephants and see what would happen. Those dogs surged forward into my mass of infantry, darting between the legs and around the shields of my soldiers and leaping with crazed ferocity on the Cathaginian elephants, tearing at their legs, ears and anything they could get their teeth on. It took like 15 seconds for the first elephant to freak out and rout, which in turn made them all rout, right back through the enemy lines. Infantry, archers, slingers, even a couple of cavalry that were too slow were all trampled beneath their own rampaging elephants. It took only a couple of minutes for my remaining men to mop up the mess and claim the victory. Last I saw of those elephants, they were running for the hills with all my dogs chasing after them, as apparently, once unleashed, the war dogs ignore all orders to stop, retreat or regroup. Go dogs go.

in the original il2 i found out a way i could fly as a russian pe8 (big 4 engine bomber, sorta like a b-17). i also found out you could load 5000lb bombs onto it. anyways, in game i would usually get plenty of attention being the biggest target. then i remembered a tv movie called dawn’s early light where this us bomber is being chased by russkie fighters during a nuclear exchange.

so i copied what they did to escape: set the bomb on a time delay, dive really low into a valley, drop, then climb out. if i timed it right it would go off just as the fighter was low over it.

it was really impressive. this gigantic mushroom cloud appears and the screen shakes either due to effects or from the computer struggling with all the flying particles and your plane gets hard to control from the shockwave or computer struggling to draw everything. the best was when the fighter pilots would msg “wtf was that!?”