I cheated and looked it up. Turns out I have never seen it, but now I feel like I should.

Yeah, I’d recommend it!

Sorry, not C.H.U.D. and not Escape From New York, though those are getting pretty warm.

Last clue:

  • A future Indian does two magic tricks
  • An immigrant to New York gets the job done
  • When it came to finding out a director, a writer, an editor, an actor, and a producer for this movie, it was a pretty easy sa y le for each one.
  • One of the character actors in this has been in just about everything, including very tiny roles in Hudsucker Proxy and New Jack City, where the plots would have been hopelessly derailed without his input.
  • COVID toes
  • It’s kind of an escaped slave narrative
  • From before to Ellis Island and Harlem
  • There’s men in black chasing an alien here, but with a much smaller budget than anything starring the Fresh Prince.
  • The actor who portrayed the titular character in this low-budget sci-fi film also had a role in another sci-fi flick seven or eight years later. His last line in that blockbuster: “I don’t know how much longer I can hold this.”
  • This kind of story had as many competitors or compatriots in its decade as personality-swap movies, as the titular characters, in a sense, brothers from different mothers (such as ET: The Extraterrestrial, Starman, Mac [and Me], [John Carpenter’s] The Thing, and Predator) found out what it was like to be fish out of water, with varying degrees of friendliness and adaptability.

So, I’m going to go with my previous hunch and say Coneheads.

I had to look on imdb to figure it out. I’ve never seen the movie.

Good hunch, but I don’t believe this movie featured any former SNL cast members.

The Brother From Another Planet?

And that is the correct movie.

By future Indian, I meant American actor Fisher Stevens, who here plays a kid on a subway in a beautiful little short film within the movie.

https://youtu.be/lYs46BxweEU

Fisher Stevens later played an Indian engineer in the Short Circuit movies, which was not a big deal at all at the time, but in retrospect became problematic™ for reasons that are probably better mentioned in another thread.

  • An immigrant to New York gets the job done

The Brother takes on a number of odd jobs. I wish I could find a clip of this, but at one point he heals a room full of busted coin-op arcade games. It’s Valhalla for arcade games. I thought maybe Tom Chick did a Gamespotting column on the scene here back in the day, but I couldn’t find it.

  • When it came to finding out a director, a writer, an editor, an actor, and a producer for this movie, it was a pretty easy sa y le for each one.

John Sayles, independent movie legend, typically wears a lot of hats in his productions.

  • One of the character actors in this has been in just about everything, including very tiny roles in Hudsucker Proxy and New Jack City, where the plots would have been hopelessly derailed without his input.

As Buckaroo notes, this is Bill Cobbs. He stopped Norville Barnes in Hudsucker from plummeting to his death by stopping time and gravity and stopped Nino the evil drug kingpin in New Jack City by shooting him to death in a courthouse.

  • COVID toes

As luck would have it, the alien main character looks a lot like a human man, except for his yucky three-toed feet.

  • It’s kind of an escaped slave narrative

He’s lying low, staying ahead of his captors who want to re-captor.

  • From before to Ellis Island and Harlem

The social commentary is juuust thick enough.

  • There’s men in black chasing an alien here, but with a much smaller budget than anything starring the Fresh Prince.

The aforementioned John Sayles and David Straitharn (Good Night and Good Luck, L.A. Confidential, R.I.P.) play the two MiBs, which was an '80s urban legend before it became a late '90s cultural blockbuster.

  • The actor who portrayed the titular character in this low-budget sci-fi film also had a role in another sci-fi flick seven or eight years later. His last line in that blockbuster: “I don’t know how much longer I can hold this.”

Joe Morton also played Miles Dyson in T2:JD. Unlike in this movie, where he was forced to expertly use pantomime, in T2 he was able to employ dialogue in his actor’s toolbox.

  • This kind of story had as many competitors or compatriots in its decade as personality-swap movies, as the titular characters, in a sense, brothers from different mothers (such as ET: The Extraterrestrial, Starman, Mac [and Me], [John Carpenter’s] The Thing, and Predator) found out what it was like to be fish out of water, with varying degrees of friendliness and adaptability.
    [/quote]

There’s a ton of John Sayles movies I haven’t been able to track down, but I’ve really enjoyed every one I’ve seen. This is easy to overlook. The title sounds like a '70s Blaxploitation reject, and it certainly doesn’t wow with special effects. But it’s a splendid little examination of alienation and humanity set in the rotting Big Apple. You’re up, @Gordon_Cameron!

Oh good, one I haven’t seen. Not my memory’s fault this time!

I haven’t seen it either. My total knowledge of it comes from reading Roger Ebert’s (positive) review of it long ago. I’ll come up with another one soon.

ahem

  1. A smack across the face
  2. Fiery impalement
  3. Man in a mask
  4. Crescent
  5. Terms of surrender

Kingdom of Heaven. Let’s say… director’s cut?

Done and done! (I think all those things are in the theatrical cut as well, but I’m not 100% sure.)

  1. Liam Neeson smacks his son Orlando Bloom to finish knighting him.
  2. Orlando Bloom stabs his conniving priest brother in a fiery forge.
  3. The benign leper-king played by Edward Norton.
  4. Saracen crescent formation swallows Euro cavalry.
  5. “I am not those men. I am Sallahudin… Sallahudin.”

Are either cuts any good? I wasn’t quite convinced by the trailer that it was worth committing a rare block of uninterrupted free time to that movie.

Theatrical cut? Oh God no. It’s like somehow they made a “greatest hits” of a movie. Orlando Bloom is woefully miscast as someone who can lead an action movie instead of someone who can plink arrows and sometimes smirk.

Director’s cut? One of the best Hollywood historical epics ever. Like, the history isn’t accurate, especially with Orlando’s character, but it’s pretty close, especially with all the factions in Jerusalem-after-the-Second-Crusade-and-just-before-the-Third and the Royal Family there. Orlando still isn’t great in it, but his costars and their expanded roles give the movie a lot more meat. I highly recommend it.

Here’s the next one:

  1. Country-style glasses
  2. Large lower-case N edit: or perhaps I mean a large upper case A? Same thing.
  3. Shaft Returns
  4. Tolkien
  5. Minnesota Gophers

My take on the movie is a bit more moderate than Djscman’s. I don’t think the theatrical cut is terrible and I’m not sure I’d put the director’s cut in the front rank of Hollywood epics. I agree that Bloom didn’t quite have the heft to carry it, though he was after all supposed to be playing a naif (then again, so was O’Toole in Lawrence), and in any case he’s bolstered by a superb supporting cast. Sheen, Neeson, David Thewlis, Jeremy Irons, Edward Norton (essentially in a V.O. role), and Ghassan Massoud who is absolutely magnetic as Saladin.

But it is a good movie. And I think of it less as a Ridley Scott movie than as a William Monahan movie. Monahan is the screenwriter who wrote The Departed but he also wrote an unproduced script about the Barbary Coast War, called Tripoli, which is just superb. I’m very sad that 20 years later that script still hasn’t been produced. On the other hand, it once had Keanu Reeves attached to star, so perhaps it’s all for the best.

Eh?

FU Discourse

Yeah.

Goes with juice.

  • Coffee and pie