Get your FBI file

This is fun.

This web site helps you generate the letters you need to send to the FBI to get a copy of your own FBI file. We can help you get your files from other “three-letter agencies” (CIA, NSA, DIA, …) too. It’s quick, it’s easy, and best of all, it’s free! Just click on the green arrow to get started!

I have this fear that requesting your FBI file gets you an FBI file, if you know what I mean.


Heh, the way things are going in this country, clicking on the link to get your FBI file gets you an FBI file.

I think it’s a valid question. It was the first thing I thought when I heard about this a few years back. Considering some of the stupid shit I’ve said on the phone, I’d be shocked if I didn’t have a few red flags and a “harmless nutbag” designation.

Okay, and so what’s the story with that Owen Wilson picture?

Act 1: book store robbery

outside the book store

Dignan: Okay, okay. Puts bandage on his nose.

Bob: What are you putting that tape on your nose for?

Dignan: Exactly. sets watch. Let’s get lucky.

exiting car, heading to the book store

Dignan: You, you open the door.
Bottle Rocket

Ah, shit, I never saw that.

I’ve been meaning to do this forever, out of curiosity. I’m guessing my travel to Russia got me flagged, but I’m curious to see what comes back.

I think I’d rather not know nor call that much attention to myself…

Damn, I can’t believe that I accessed this thread. Now I have to chew a lot of gum to activate the cyanide capsule in my tooth.

You bastards!

This reminds me of that episode of Homicide when Munch gets his FBI file.

It’s a trap.

  • Alan

Clerk: I have three thousand, six hundred and seventy-seven Garrett Morrises in this filing bank alone. [ruffles papers] I have Garrett Morrises here, here, here… [looks at blue paper] Here with the packing clearances! Have you ever changed your name to X?

Garrett Morris: [searching his memory] Uh, uh, I, I did change it to Garrett Borocca.

Clerk: Borocca. You were on the African kick for a while! You and thirty-two thousand, six hundred and eighty-eight other black Americans. Something else! Did you ever commit an illegal act, or something?

Garrett Morris: Oh, oh, yeah, uh, I, I ran guns.

Clerk: Oh, Mr. Morris, are you aware of how many people illegally transport firearms across state lines in this country each year?

Garrett Morris: Well, hold on, uh, wait a minute, I, I also, uh–

Clerk: MILLIONS!! Millions of them!! Millions! I have sheaves of files! Something outstanding! I can’t work with this!

A website that asks for any alias you may have used and wants you to put in your address. Ahh.

shrug If you’re paranoid, you can just enter nothing, print out the results, and fill in the blanks with a pen.

I did the paranoid print out and then fill out thing. So far, I’ve got no records found from the Seattle FBI, Washington headquarters FBI, CIA, USMS, and DIA. OKC FBI, Dallas FBI, DSS, USSS, and CID are still outstanding.

The NSA’s response is interesting. They’re claiming the information is exempt from FOIA disclosure because of Bush’s changes to executive order 12958. Separately, they also claim title 18 code US code 798, title 50 US code 403-1(i), and section 6, Public law 86-36 (50 US code 402 note) somehow exempt them.

The reason in both of these? The very existence or non-existence of records is classified information. No doubt otherwise the NSA would be overwhelmed with terrorists looking up what information had on them, because that certainly makes a whole hell of a lot of sense.

Fucking Bush and his panopticon state.