Give me your (bad?) medical advice!

So my girlfriend almost certainly has mono.

Wikipedia claims that it can remain contagious for a year and a half. What the hell.

Should I just resign myself to getting it, if I don’t already have it (no symptoms at the moment)? Give it a month of not necking with her and then get it from her, so she can nurse me back to health? Go shomer negiya for a year and a half (heh, not likely)?

Scarlet Fever, now mono? What’s next, Ebola? At least she could have the decency to go in alphabetical order.

SMOKE ALL THE WEED.

You have a girlfriend? Showoff.

Ask her if it’s ok to date other people, but only for about the next 18 months.

I already know the answer to that one.

At Aaron’s encouragement, I’m adding to this thread. Seeing as I was diagnosed by the less-than-renowned university health center, by a PA who’s probably three years older than I am, if that, he figured there was a decent chance of finding a more qualified expert on here.

I still hold that turning to the interwebs for medical advice is questionable, but sometimes, you’ll take any idea better than your own, I guess.

Symptoms:
-two days of nausea and vomiting. The latter has pretty much stopped, but only because I haven’t eaten enough to have anything to come up.
-related, almost complete loss of appetite. Consumption yesterday: a muffin (over the course of the day), a Venti Double Chocolate Chip Frappucino, and about six spoonfuls of chicken soup.
-swollen lymph nodes, and related difficulty swallowing. Anyone turning that into a dirty joke will be PM’d the most NSFW image I can find.
-apparently, some patchiness in the back of the throat. Not that I can see this myself.
-no real fever.
-headaches and throbbing in the ears.
-exhaustion and difficulty sleeping, but I can hardly attribute that to illness; my sleep schedule’s been fucked since midterms started.

Note: I’ve never had mono previously. Aaron’s also never had it. My roommate has, and we’re less than clinical in how we wash the dishes…and that’s about the only way I can think of that I would have gotten it, other than a spontaneous weakened-immune-system takeover.

I had strep - manifested as scarlet fever - a little over a month ago, completed a full course of penicillin, and thought it had gone away. The rapid strep test came back ‘very slightly positive’, and the rapid mono test negative, but the health center cautioned me that it was really too early to take the mono test, and they want me back in a week for another. They put me on another antibiotic for strep, which Wikipedia and other sources warn me has an 80-90% chance of causing a rash if what is in fact mono was misdiagnosed as strep.

About half an hour ago, I notice my back’s itching. Guess what. The rash. It looks like much the same shit that happened when I had the scarlet fever, though.

I’m really not sure what’s wrong with me at this point, and I have far too much to do in the last month-and-a-bit of this semester to simply lie in bed and wait for this to resolve itself. Does anyone have a better idea than I do as to the problem? And, ideally, how I avoid spreading this without restricting myself to communicating with the one who started this thread via the Internet?

I realize I’m hardly turning to a community full of experts, but really, any help would be appreciated. Thank you very much.
-a very annoyed, impatient, and worn-out Speak

Bad luck for you!

The virus isn’t as contagious as some others (i.e. cold virus), despite the length of time it can be contagious, so let her get over the symptoms before returning to your normal activities. When she gets better, both you (and she) should try to stay rested and healthy. A healthy immune system will likely do wonders for preventing you from getting mono. Apparently, it’s caused by the Epstein-Barr virus, which many people already have some sort of immunity toward, so unless you’re really run down or otherwise compromised, you’d (likely) be fine.

As per always, I am not a doctor. Take free (and Internet) advice with appropriate caution.

After thinking it over, she should do Malaria next. It’s still not alphabetical, but she already threw that out the window.

Sorry, Raife, I already did my study abroad…and Russia may be well known for mosquitoes, but not for malaria.

Definitely preggers.

Gawd, Scrax, don’t even joke about that. I seriously entertained the notion of immaculate-conception-morning sickness for about twelve hours.

Immaculate conception my ass.

Immaculate?
I thought you were his girlfriend.

Yes. That does not automatically make me preggers, Hanzii. :P

Edit: damn it, I am so easily trolled, especially when not at 100% mental function…

The obvious solution is to cover yourselves both in magnets and pray for some fucking miracles. I find it’s better to inquire of God as to how they do, in fact, work.

When I had mono, the main thing i really remember, is just being f’ing tired. Like dead tired, all the time. I’d fall asleep, and wake up tired, and feel really weak, getting out of bed was a chore.

Yeah, been there, done that, blamed it on midterms…

Is your girlfriend Mariah Carey?

When I had mono, the symptoms were basically swollen throat [parts; I don’t remember the term] that made swallowing (HA!) extremely painful, extreme tiredness, and headache. Swelling went down in a few days after being administered steroids but the tiredness lasted a couple of weeks. IIRC, most people who contract the virus don’t manifest symptoms, so I recommend extensive interrogation of Mr. Sofaer.