Government microwaves scramble talking heads' brains

It’s not every day you see a headline in the Daily Mail titled “Are U.S. government microwave mind-control tests causing TV presenters’ brains to melt down?” (Seriously, I check the Daily Mail periodically for gratuitous celebrity trash, but this is very Weekly World News (RIP) even for them.)

COINCIDENCE??? I’m not sure whether to blame government microwaves or precious-bodily-fluid contamination.

No, David Byrne’s been weird for longer than that.

This would be funny if not for the fact so many people will actually beleive it.

It’s probably just Glossolalia. <insert quote from Snow Crash here>.

Cleve Blakemore knows the truth: the coming solar maximum is destroying the degenerate race of Homo Sapiens! Cleve himself is of course unaffected, due to his superior Neanderthal brain.

If you haven’t read Cleve’s older Neanderthal posts, I highly recommend you do because they are awesome: