Michael Bay made the following the announcement:
And added this little tidbit to Megan Fox:
Ah, fuck. But no surprise.
A fascinating insight into movie-making magic!
Triple-Changers and Unicron, here we go.
Maybe with no writers’ strike in the middle of production this one will at least have what passes for a coherent script in this day and age?
Transformers 3? How did I miss the first two? Oh, I remember now – I don’t go to stupid movies!
Yeah, I’m a snob. Drop a giant robot on my head or something.
Coming right up, Mr. Monocle McSmartypants.
(Original pic redacted due to genuine gruesomeness.)
I think Jose Liz should replace Shia LaBeouf.
Or maybe not.
“I’m 22 and I’m directing my favorite rapper’s music video,” LaBeouf says excitedly. “This shit is better than riding unicorns.”
Everyone here is missing the point, which is that Megan Fox might grow chest hair.
Alex, did you make those yourself, or is there some sort of bizarre RoboCop/unicorn cult I’m not aware of?
No, it is an internet meme I found when trying to find out if Shia’s “riding unicorns” quote became a meme.
I was very disappointed that Shia’s favorite rapper is some goofy white guy and not a black guy straight off the street.
Even though he is white, Cage is far closer to the latter than the former.
Cage’s backstory, via his representation.
EARLY LIFE:
- Born in Wurzberg, Germany to American parents. His father, Bill Murray, was an MP in the US army stationed on West German military base where Cage and his parents lived until Bill was dishonorably discharged for selling and using heroin. When he was 4, Cage and his family were sent back to the US where they took up residence in Middletown, NY.
- When they got to Middletown, his father continued to abuse heroin, often making Cage assist by pulling homemade tourniquets around his arm. His father left them suddenly with another woman. The last time Cage saw his father, he had a standoff with the Middletown state troopers after threatening his family with a shot gun. He was arrested and Cage has not seen him since. He was 8 years old at the time.
TEENAGE LIFE:
- By the time his mother was on her third marriage, Cage was getting kicked out of Middletown Highschool during his freshman year. His stepfather would beat him up, punch him in the head, even leaving a scar over his eye. Around this time, Cage started using drugs (LSD, mescaline, weed, alcohol)
- His mother sent him to live with his uncle (a Vietnam vet who never retired from the army) on a German military base for a year. That uncle hated him, beat him up and sent him home to America after a year.
- Chris started getting into all sorts of trouble, including getting arrested (for drug possession, fighting in the streets, etc). He was 16 years old at this point. He was put on probation for charges, but after several violations found himself facing real jail time. His mother convinced the judge that Chris was mentally unstable and instead of prison he was sent to the Stony Lodge Psychiatric hospital for a 2 week evaluation which turned into an 18 month stay.
- During his stay at “The Lodge”, Chris was part of a small group of medical guinea pigs who were chosen to be the test subjects for a new and untested drug called Prozac, which hadn’t hit the market yet. Misdiagnosed and placed on Prozac, Cage became suicidal and made several attempts to try and kill himself (first by hanging himself by his own shoe laces, then by saving up his mandatory lithium doses for a month and ingesting all at once). He was subsequently put on suicide watch.
- He was restrained over twenty times for periods of up to 13 hours at a time (illegally), sometimes by straightjacket, sometimes by 10 point bed restraints. Cage would later refer to this period in his life as his “rap college”. He would spend his time doing the only thing he could, which was go deep into his mind and hone his imagination into the visceral and dramatic writing style he has to this day.
- After being subjected to Lithium, Prozac, and a host of other drugs (and then even more drugs to counter the side effects produced by all the initial medication), Chris went from being a troubled teenager into a legitimately bi-polar young man.
- He was eventually released on outpatient program and christened himself Alex, after the protagonist from A Clockwork Orange.
RAP LIFE:
- 18 years old, fresh out of the lodge, Cage decided to pursue his the talent he honed while in hell and try to become a professional rapper. He made a demo, got a manager and was introduced to Pete Nice of 3rd Bass fame. Pete featured Cage on his solo effort “Dust to Dust” on the song “Rich Bring ‘Em Back” in 1993. This was his first appearance on a rap record.
- Through Pete Nice Cage met fledgling radio personality Bobbito Garcia who had just started his soon to be legendary late night mix show with DJ Stretch Armstrong. He was invited up to the show several time, earning a rep in the emerging underground NY scene as a savage and raw new MC with an original style based on his tortured life and demented imagery
- Through his connection with that show, he met and formed a strong friendship with the KMD (whose front man Zev Love X would eventually be known as MF DOOM) and formed a very strong friendship with the late great Subroc. Cage was the last person to see Subroc alive before he was killed. He also became associated with and close to: Kurious Jorge, K-Solo, Godfather Don, Artifacts, Pharoah Monch, El-P (who actually worked with Cage briefly in 1994 on a 3 song demo now lost to the world), the Juggaknots and many more.
- Bobbito and Pete Nice started a label through Columbia Records called Hoppoh and was on the verge of singing Cage as one of their first releases. At this time Cage was heavily abusing drugs and every time he got into the studio he was too high to record anything that Columbia thought was worthy of a major label release.
- Frustrated and dejected, Cage put his rap dreams on hold and moved back to Middletown where he got deeper and deeper in drug abuse and found out he was having a child.
Too long; didn’t rap.
Your loss. Dude’s story is like a more interesting version of 8 Mile.
It’ll go great with her stupid tattoos. Here, she can borrow some of mine, just to get started…
I don’t suppose I should be surprised that the top two priorities are apparently the special effects and the toy marketing.
In all fairness, Hasbro owns the rights to the line, so they probably have to meet with them about characters and stuff…it might not JUST be about the merchandising.
Fact: The Transformer 2 toys… did not transform.
This wildly successful movie failed on all standards.
Prediction: in 2 years having Megan Fox in your movie will make you look out of touch.
Wow, definitely one of those guys who thinks he’s funny but isn’t, but was always popular so no one ever told him.