So, I am 51. I have noticed my eye-rolls per day or heavy sighs whenever I read something I judge as stupid are becoming more and more frequent.
This whole stereotype of the grumpy old man turns out to have some merit. I feel it, I feel my intolerance for idiots growing, I am far more judgemental.
Anyone else going through “the change” or is this just me? :)
Can we fight it? I want to fight it, I dont want to be that guy.
Welcome to old age and wisdom. We realize that on a basic, biological level, we just don’t have the time left to fuck about with dimwits, dullards, and dumbasses any more. We’ve lived through things that experience now tells us are unequivocally retarded, and it annoys us to see others make the same mistakes.
Embrace your inner Old Man On The Back Porch
Yes. I’m 39, though, so I imagine I’m going to be absolutely insufferable by the time I’m 51. Not all of us can be as serene as you, Rod! ;)
I think like 2/3 of the forum is in the same boat, if recent threads are any key. Relax and enjoy it. For what it’s worth, remember that the flip side of, “Grumpy Old Man,” is, “You don’t have to like me because I don’t care.” It’s that second part that can be pretty liberating. It’s like a roller coaster ride flipping between annoyance and apathy, peppered occasionally with very small amounts of pure happiness (at others expense, of course.)
Beer helps. But even its powers of healing are reaching saturation point at my age :)
I’m fighting it. My theory is, who do I like spending time with, folks who gripe and bitch all the time or folks who seem to be enjoying themselves? So I can’t change getting older but I can sure as he’ll change my attitude. And I’m actually a good deal more optimistic and less cynical than I was as a younger man. Feels good, man.
Welcome, my friend. We’ve been waiting for you. Have a seat, rocker or assisted lift to stand? Here is your leg shawl. Your knobby walking stick. Ignore the newbs. Embrace the crankiness! ;)
I turned 58 today.
I like to think I am charmingly grumpy.
I have started experiencing this pretty early, and noticed that getting rid of the television helped tremendeously.
Heavy sighing is still prone to happen whenever opening a link to a news site on the internet, though :/
I honestly think a big part of it is having selfish morons running our country(s). There is so much on the line for all of us, and to see utter stupidity graced upon everyday life drives one into frustration. It’s so much easier to tolerate idiocy on a daily basis when you’re not surrounded by racism and fascism as well.
You always post nice things!
So, sometimes the “I’m a grumpy old git and that’s just the way it is” line of thinking treads dangerously near the “Yeah I’m a bitchy bitch and if you cause drama then GTFO if you can’t handle me at my worst then you can’t handle me at all because I am always terrible” bitchy meth-chick persona that so many girls from my hometown have fallen into as the years have trod onward.
Basically, I’m not sure how often “I’m tired of dealing with the genuine bullshit in the world and won’t do so any longer” style arguments are just a more acceptable way of saying “I’m actually just a giant asshole and an inexplicably proud of it for some reason.”
Not that any of you fine, elderly gentlemen are assholes, of course.
What you will learn, young padawan, is that aging is, in essence, the long slow march toward becoming a giant asshole.
I’m more of both? While it may be counter intuitive, really it stems from becoming more comfortable and certain of who I am, and therefore having less reason to care who others are. I don’t care if someone likes terrible music, and I don’t need to comment on it like I may have when I was younger. You want to watch Twilight? Don’t care. Just don’t make me watch with you, and don’t ask my opinion if you don’t want to hear it.
Conversely I also can be far more critical of things, but will keep them to myself more.
I try really hard not to bitch at people for what they think is fun so long as what they think is fun isn’t, say, marching with Nazis.
At least in part because I know 90% of the stuff I think is awesome is fucking stupid, but it makes me happy, and when people pick on me for it, it feels shitty. Why go out of my way to make someone feel shitty for doing/listening to/watching what they love?
When I turned 40 a while back (ok, I suppose six years is more than a while, but work with me here…), I had a similar realization. I was growing grumpier and really didn’t give a shit. Then I realized. I’ve basically been practicing my whole life for this. If I’m going to be a grumpy old man, as seems inevitable, I can at least be comfortable with the fact that I’m going be really, really good at it.
I don’t think your approach differs too much from mine, it’s just down to how you want to spend your ever decreasing time. I figure at 45, if I’m lucky my life is half over. What do I want to do with my time? One of the best things about Qt3 is stumbling across something that another poster is extremely passionate about, and describes how it affected them. I’ve found some really good stuff that way, stuff it may not have occurred to me to try on my own. I love that.
The inverse of that, a concept I can’t for the life of me understand, is the hate-watch. Like maybe you can’t stand The Walking Dead, but you keep watching so you can bitch about it? Why? Those are hours you’ll never get back! But if that’s what folks like, who am I to argue? I’ll just go about my way and look for things to enjoy.
People do this? They watch stuff they don’t like on purpose? Life is so short this boggles my mind on a level I didn’t think my brain-elevator went to.
On the one hand as you get older it’s natural not to suffer fools lightly or get caught up in fads of the moment, and to see things with a perspective born of your immense age.
On the other hand, I think it’s worth trying to cultivate an open, even somewhat childlike, attitude toward life as one gets older. My impulse to be crass and cynical is counterbalanced by a deepening sense of wonder about how much there is to learn, how many truly astonishing things my fellow humans have done, what an unimaginable privilege it is to be able to witness creation for the short span of time that is bequeathed to us. So much of youthful ‘cooler than thou’ attitude is a pretense born of a desperate desire for social inclusion. I should like to shed that burden.
I hope as I move beyond middle age I grow more full of wonder, more interested in the world, more engaged, more eager to learn the things I don’t know. More willing to hear criticism without defensiveness, more willing to submerge my ego, more willing to listen rather than simply waiting for my turn to speak. But at the same time, I must become more selective in my company – in the things I read and the people I associate with – because one doesn’t want to waste time on bullshit.
Well said. You get a ghost like.