On Passover we
Opened the door for Elijah.
Now our dog is gone.
I have to remember this for tomorrow’s seder at the rabbi’s. He has three dogs that usually run rampant around the large table. One Rosh Hashana one of them grabbed a whole loaf of challah while we were doing the evening motzi.
Want more?
Today I am a man
Tomorrow I will return
To the seventh grade.
The sparkling blue sea
Reminds me to wait an hour
After my sandwich.
Mom, please. There is no
Need to put that dinner roll
Into your pocketbook.
And remember:
Deep inside you are 10,000 flowers
Each flower blossoms 10,000 times
Each blossom has 10,000 petals
Maybe you should see a specialist.
Finally:
The Tao does not speak.
The Tao does not blame.
The Tao does not take sides.
The Tao has no expectations.
The Tao demands nothing of others.
The Tao is not Jewish.
LOL - well done
Biz hundert un tsvantsik.
Thank you Almighty
For not murdering us all
But Egypt? Fuck 'em.
Dear Israelites:
You may think you are chosen;
From here it gets worse.
Through divine favor
I didn’t kill all of you,
Second prize: Desert.
Thanks. Actually my wife’s aunt sent those to us.
Good stuff, Houngan. Where’d you get those, or did you make 'em up yourself?
Made 'em up. Unfortunately I’ve exhausted my knowledge of Passover, so I’m tapped.
Wait, one more:
Moishe’s house is gold
I could only afford red paint
Who is laughing now?
Happy Passover to all who care! And don’t forget to drink a lot of water to avoid the dreaded “matzah blockage syndrome” that I just made up.
When I get hungry,
I lurk outside Seder doors.
“Sure, I’m Elijah.”
Planning vacations:
How about Jerusalem?
Maybe for next year.
Headline Haiku
“Elijah” In Jail
Jewish Family Is Shocked
He Drank All The Wine!
I Lol’d. Thanks for that!