Hatoful Boyfriend - A dating game about pigeons

I have a horrible cold and I am miserable so naturally I am dating pigeons.

This is my childhood friend. We just had a conversation about how how it’s hard to get the day started without red meat in your belly, and now we are going to St. Pigeo’s School for Talented Birds.

Fuck yes.

What is this I don’t even

(side note: I feel like just by viewing this thread I’ve been put on an FBI watchlist)

OMG, is this Balls Mahoney in pigeon form? Sorry about your horrible cold, but your illness is a small sacrifice to pay for what could potentially be the greatest thread ever, right?

Oh look, a transfer student.

You will be mine.

Hatoful is like the ugliest word I’ve ever seen.

EDIT - well, THAT was odd.


Also my character is Cloaca Mahoney because, you know, pigeons.

Due to my work’s smartfilter weirdly blocking truemeaningoflife.com I’ve never actually read one of these threads.

Does Balls Mahoney ever befriend a delightful young lady named Axl Rotten?

Kind of brings new meaning to doin’ the pigeon.

I don’t know, now I am torn between the stuck up fantail and the depressed mourning dove who was waiting all summer for the books I checked out.

So there I am, swanning around school minding my business, when the fantail comes across his half-brother and decides to get all racist towards him. Hmph.

Dude, not the most graceful rebound from being slammed by your brother.


This made me snort water, so … thanks for that. :)

After that, my teacher lets me know that my childhood friend went to the infirmary with a stomach ache. OFF TO COMFORT SICK BIRDS!

I may have the body of a person but I have the soul and instincts of a beautiful raptor, goddamnit. And it says that no one is here. So I poke around wondering what all the drugs are when suddenly

The doctor appears. He’s offering to feed me drugs, he is the closest thing to a glasses character this game will have, and his theme music is Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies. I MUST HAVE HIM.

Maybe I’ve been listening to too many Yandere Boys Heaven cds (don’t ask) but that doesn’t sound too bad. I mean, Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies! You can’t set anything too horrible to that, right?


A dating sim about birds in high school. What?


Wouldn’t having a club for birdwatching at St. Pigeo’s Academy for Talented Birds be like having a voyeurism club at a human school?

You know, I’ve been rolling with the madness remarkably well but

Even I gotta manwhat at that.

this has got to be some sort of horrible feverdream

I don’t even need to read this. I’m just laughing at the pics.

So it comes time for me to choose what afterschool club I am going to join and OF COURSE I pick the health team because I gotta get me that crazy doctor. I show up and



Finally that asshole fucks off and leaves me alone with the drugs.

The mysterious ninjapigeon drugs. Yessssssssss

So anywhere there I am deciding what random vial of horrible to gobble down first when I notice that the doctor’s desk is messy. Now Yuuya did warn me not to touch the desk, but I bet if I tidy up his desk he’ll suddenly-

Oh cliches, you so predictable.

Yeah, I touched your stuff. You gonna do anything about it other than trying to act vaguely menacing?

I guess not. Oh well, at least I have a totally bitchin’ cave to hang out in.