Hatoful Boyfriend - A dating game about pigeons

OH MY GOD, WAS IT REALLY VALENTINE’S DAY WHEN HE KILLED THE HOLY FUCK OUT OF HER WITH HIS SICK MUTANT CLEAVER BIRD HAND?

Edit: yes, yes it was, as someone commented last page. Still, um, wow, that really takes the fucked-up cookie.

Look, bad ends in dating games are a thing. And they can be a good thing, failure conditions are good, death is a failure condition, so sometimes dating games have people who will murder you if you do something wrong. It makes sense, right?

But a fat bird should not be fucking my intestines. This is bad and wrong.

He kept your head.

He kept your head.

Nor should he be serving you the carcass of someone you know. I mean what the flippity fuck. That is seriously disturbing.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

hahahahahahah man I’m glad I have my own office. Laughing.

Wait. This isn’t the only dating sim with such an ending?! Perverse.

Wow.

For your sins, Angie, you now have to do a replay where you narc on the doctor and get his evil ass busted. And you have to go out with Sakuya, the total prick bird.

I just went back to an old save before I started pumping cha instead of wis to see if I could get smart enough to not get killed and just fast forwarded through all the events I ahd already seen

YOU CAN’T

HE ALWAYS KILLS YOU

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

this is not good for my fever, imma go lay down

fucking fat bird

what the fuck

I find myself slightly terrified by this upending of the food chain. Is no girl dressed as a bird safe in our society anymore?

I thought for sure they were a good match and would live happily together ever after. Cloaca could go to medical school and help him with his studies, and together they could do important, lasting work. I bet the doctor will have regrets when he looks at your head, and his HO HO HOs will have a melancholy tint.

Is my new phrase at work for when things go a bit wrong.

Wait, what? Making different choices (e.g. not returning the I.D. card to the sick bastard bird, not asking him on the date to the fair) doesn’t help at all? There’s no way to avoid becoming Hannibal Pecker’s trophy head?

Can we see the human form of the fat bird?

You can pursue the other birds, but if you go after the doctor he kills you no matter how smart you are.

There is no human form. He’s a fat bird.

Ah. So you are not going to be posting any of the human-form pictures of the characters? A pity.

Because they don’t exist, because it’s a game involving birds.