I met FBI agents once. An ex-Army buddy of mine apparently got up to some interstate criminal activity (drugs and gun trafficking) after his service, and two agents showed up to ask me questions about my time in service with him. From what I could glean, they were trying to figure out if he’d been doing this stuff back when I knew him, but I don’t think I was much help there since we were mostly work acquaintances and didn’t really hang out casually. I think they knew it was a long shot because they mostly seemed bored and checking off boxes in a disinterested way.
I’ve broken both legs as a kid. I got hit by a truck while I was riding my bike. I was in a horrible dual leg cast with bars connected at the knees for almost half a year.
Yes, in a road rage incident. We ended up squaring up to each other, yelling and all that. He pushed me and I landed a fist in his mouth. At that point I realised that this isn’t very good and took the opportunity to hussle back to my car and scram.
Unfortunately, his teeth cut my nuckle all the way to the bone, and I needed a few stitches. Also it turns out that the human mouth is filthy and my hand got severely infected. It took the swelling 2 weeks to subside. Almost 30 years later, I still have the scar to remind me to keep my temper on the road and elsewhere.
But if you do need to punch someone, for good sake aim anywhere but the mouth
Edit: I forgot to mention that the next day there was a knock on the door, and when I opened it was a police man. I almost fainted. Luckily, he was looking for someone else and this is how I got away from the law.
I have you covered or doubled on a few items there:
I’ve broken one bone in my arm and multiple toes. You might ask about the toes so to explain, recreational boating, drinking, wearing flip flops and these things do not mix:
Yes that’s correct. I’ve broken a toe on one of those more than one time.
I’ve been aboard an Aircraft Carrier in dock, but also aboard a couple Navy ships at sea. I’ve never been aboard a cruise ship, however.
I’ve met FBI agents multiple times, notably when they screened for high level clearances for others I know. I also worked with one during a hacking investigation as a civilian. I’ve also met NCIS folks who were investigating my roommate back in the day for his transgressions.
I’ve met multiple foreign ambassadors and a few elites. Notably I got to meet then Prince Rainier of Monaco and his son, now leader, Prince Albert II of Monaco. I met other leaders from multiple countries around the Mediterranean when they came aboard the ship I served on to meet with Vice Admiral Moranville who lead both the US Sixth Fleet as well as our European NATO Naval forces lead. He hobnobbed with the best of them. Anyone who served on flag staff like me was typically aboard when he brought leaders there to see the technology we had and tour the ship, etc.
Back when I practiced I worked with them all the time. They were handy for asking potential witnesses questions because they’re everywhere in the country. Right down to the smallest places imaginable.
As for specific story, there was one agent I worked with regularly because he had the misfortune of being assigned to the back water that is white collar crime. He happened to have a law degree which made him way more useful than they usually proved to be on white collar. The reason I mention him is because he impressed me with his ability to go into power down mode in depositions, he looked like he was sleeping, but then if anything came up that warranted his attention he powered back up.
Circling back to how I more commonly made use of them, asking questions. In this capacity they proved hilariously literal about it. If you gave them two questions to ask, they’d ask those two questions and if the responses proved to be something anyone with their brain switched on would have found worth following up with another question, they never did that. I was never sure if this was done in spite because they hated this kind of assignment. I did on a couple occasions send them back out to do it again with the follow up questions. ;)
I have not, but I did throw a punch in fear once. Yes, it landed and I still feel ashamed about it.
It was the last time I went to Mardi Gras, so 1995 I think. I was moving through a crush of people, which is hardly uncommon at Mardi Gras, and was bumped into a very drunk guy, also not uncommon, who spilled his drink all over me. He was enraged by this, threatened to kill me and seemed to be winding up to hit me. So, I popped him In the chin. Not a solid hit, I’m no fighter and not terribly imposing, but he went down like a sack of wet cement - probably because he was so drunk he might have just passed straight out had I left him alone. I looked around to see if he had any friends and didn’t see any so I sort of propped him up and left.
So yeah, thinking back I handled that poorly and regret that it happened. I’ve resolved not to let myself resort to violence and kind of “count to ten” or something to keep my head. I don’t want that to happen again.
Was interviewed by FBI when we accidently burned up an apartment in Midland Tx and my buddy was trying to get a security clearance for the airforce. Met 2 Secret Service when G. Bush visited our plant in KC
I was interviewed for my own security clearance by a totally unremarkable balding dude in a terrible suit.
A friend’s husband was an agent. We never talked work. We talked about hardware stores and home repair projects. After he retired from the bureau he took up work in one of those small ace hardware stores and was a very content individual.
Yes, my neighbor was an FBI Agent. I slept over my friend’s house many times. His dad was one of the nicest men you would ever meet. I did get to see him deal with a troublemaker once - it was amazing how tough he could be.
I have met an FBI agent when a friend put me down as a reference for a job where he needed some low level of security clearance. So one swung by to ask me some questions.
My favorite of these was when I got woken up bright and early on a morning that I just happened to have off. It was two agents and they asked, IMHO, more questions than I’d normally had in these things. I was in a t-shirt and shorts, hair very much looking like I just woke up and probably sleep in my eyes and they just went on and on. I’m -almost- sure they did that on purpose. Eventually I guess they had their unspoken laugh and thankfully left.
I always wanted to answer sarcastically but never did so. “You mean how was he when not being a piece of shit? Well he was okay, kinda sketchy like a serial killer so you never know, ya know?”
I missed this follow up question you posted. Beyond playing around as young kids I have never thrown a punch in anger at anyone.Ever.
I’ve driven an aircraft carrier both as the Conning Officer and as Officer of the Deck, during both flight operations and alongside underway replenishment.
To my knowledge I’ve never met an FBI agent though.
Yes and yes, in an experience I don’t care to relate. It felt like shit, I heavily regret it, and hope never to do it again.
I asked this question because there’s always a cool moment in movies and TV shows where the FBI shows up, flashes their badge, and says “FBI.” And I’ve never experienced that.
But I’m declaring @divedivedive the winner, for dating the daughter of an FBI agent, and then bonding with the dad more than the daughter. (It wasn’t Heather Graham, was it? Her dad was an FBI agent.)
You may now ask a question, or if you can’t think of one, I will choose. If you ask, you can choose the winner.
Have fun.
(Also, I think aircraft carrier is out for the future, because no one will likely top Matt_W. Damn.)
Ha, no, it wasn’t Heather Graham. I didn’t know her dad was an FBI agent. And I’ve never had an agent flash their badge at me either though my wife has. She was asked to help with a background check like several other folks have mentioned.
Oh right, keep the game going. Ok let’s see, here’s kind of a softball question: have you ever said something and then been so mortified by it you just thought, what did I just say? What was I thinking? I have, more than once, but one time in particular was kind of hilarious so here’s my story:
So I was a big fan of Twin Peaks, as so many of us were back when it showed up on our TVs. And there were so many beautiful women, but I was especially taken with Sherilynn Fenn - again, I don’t think I differed from many of us there. At one point she did a pictorial in Playboy magazine and I decided I had to have it. At the time I was a senior in high school, around 17 years old. So I headed over to a gas station to make my purchase and, as luck would have it, there were two women behind the counter. As I put down the magazine and money, they were giving me their best “oh, you only read it for the articles” faces. I could feel myself starting to burn under their regard. So I blurted out: “I’m a big fan of Twin Peaks.” I made it to the door before they started giggling and I realized: “Oh my god.”
Mine was more on the “cringe” side. A group of friends decided to go to a snack place here. I was going with them and there was this girl who was undecided. She was a bit overweight and really self-conscious about that, and the place we were going to was very much focused on non-healthy food, so I figured she was concerned about that. I wanted her to come and, trying to help, I immediately said: “come with us, I’m sure they have diet stuff there”.
The look of pure horror she gave me (like “oh my god, did you just call me fat?”) made me realize that the phrase could be interpreted in a way very different from my good intentions. I didn’t even know what to say after that, and figured I would probably make things even worse if I tried, so I just left. I don’t think she talked to me again after that.
Back when I was in the Navy, I spent a few weeks studying for my nuclear engineering officer qualifications. The study was an off-ship assignment at a former mortuary on the base in Norfolk. Nuke officers from other ships were there studying as well. My ship had a particularly notorious senior officer on board who was known for being brilliant, but eccentric and demanding. He bore a resemblance in both appearance and mannerisms to David Schwimmer, but dialed up a few notches. A couple of study-mates knew of him and asked me about him so I related a story about how he was assigning watch schedules over Christmas and was particularly heartless about vacation requests saying “Well what do I care about Christmas, I’m Jewish!” I said this line with that singsongy David Schwimmer voice and some wild gesticulations, drawing out the final word. My study mates’ responses were “I’m Jewish.” and “Yeah, me too.” It’s two decades later and I can’t think about the incident with cringing my whole self inward.