Blade 1 was much better than Hellboy. Dorff was a pretty good villian in Blade, too.
However, I liked Hellboy enoughish. It was a hell of a lot better than LXG, probably on par with The Mummy or X-Men 2. Kind of entertaining. No, a better way to put it would be “having all of the components of an entertaining movie”. I thought most of Hellboy’s funny lines worked(the scene on the rooftop with the kid was legitimately funny), but the core plot really was meanderingly ridiculous. Hey, why not go to Russia? And then, well, deal with some improbable clockwork boobytraps! Uh, then the bad guy shows up and we end the movie. But first, let’s have pure love bring someone back from the dead, because that’s certainly a new idea.
I heard they cut out my dialogue scenes, but at least my death scene was still in there. I was the guy that dies on the bridge. Thought that up myself!
Somebody on another board pointed out the interesting fact that Hellboy has almost the exact same ending as Howard the Duck.
At the end of Howard the Duck: Evil dude uses powerful supermachine to open a portal in space wherein to draw legions of evil menacing space demons to earth. Ugly hero and plucky girlfriend save the day, whereupon evil dude reveals he’s actually a huge supermonster hiding INSIDE evil dude, and the ugly hero and big ugly supermonster go mano-a-ducko to the bitter end.
Man, I don’t understand all the hate for this movie. I saw it and enjoyed it immensely. No, it wasn’t great or anything, but I thought it was very enjoyable. Some of y’all are acting like the movie kicked your little sister in the neck. Sheeeesh…
I find that negativity to be fairly typical on this forum actually. It probably has quite a bit to do with the pseudo-intellectualism and large powerful minds that congregate here.
That being said, me being the simple man that I am far removed from the lofty perches of Qt3 I too found this movie “ok” at best.
I too was lured in by the overwhelmingly positive reviews on RT and then with that in mind was setup for some mild disappointment. Gary Whitta’s commentary pretty much reflects my own but only because I was expecting more than a popcorn movie and that is what I got.
If you read many of the RT reviews you will see them almost raving about the character and that made me think there would be some fairly strong development, but I got into the theater and received a fairly standard Hollywood movie. That is fine, I’m not so complicated that I cannot watch the “standard fare” that is thrown out these days but I was just expecting more in advance and I probably shouldn’t have.
I’m with Brian here. The movie was fun, and had a nice sense of style, and I found most of the jokes humorous. As a movie version of the comic, it was pretty spot-on, and as a direct result of this, you got to see plenty of tentacled, cthulhuoid monsters. Was it high art? No, but then again, neither was the comic on which it was based.
Although I would agree with you on this count in other instances herms, this thread is not one of them. Probably, because I’m in it and I don’t level knee-jerk angst-alike attacks on films, shows, games or dildos without basis. Is there a corollary to Godwin’s Law that accounts for meta-level attacks made on forumites for offering their honest opinions?
About Half of Qt3ers Participating In This Thread: “You know, Hellboy was pretty enh. Here are some nonspecific impressions plus specific examples of why we feel this way.”
hermyhermit: “YER ALL PRETENTIOUS QUEER BLOWHARDS FOR NOT LIKING THIS MEDIOCRE FILM SUCH AS I, A ONE UTTERLY BEREFT OF SAID PRETENTIOUSNESS, DID. Permission to offer informed, valid opinon: DENIED, Koontz-breath.”
Whereas I will always secretely churn inside with envy at the blithe bliss the severely retarded go through life in a state of perpetually being, I must confess: I TOOK THE BLUE PILL AND YOUR TEPID FILM SUCKS, PAL. You’re also aiming WAYYYY too high in your assessment of my filmgoing skillz if you think I was aiming for Citizen Hellboy in my pre-viewing briefing for the film, that of scouring the concessions stand for a box of Dots, a small popcorn, and a water. Something decent that doesn’t get on my tits and makes it worth holding my farts at bay for two hours will do, thanks. Hellboy didn’t, and not because I’m a superiffic ultragenius. I’m not the nerdy chicken with Coke-bottle glasses that uses a slide rule to dig up Foghorn Leghorn (“Hyeh-hyeh-hyeh! Hermy will NEVAH, I say NEVAH find me in heah!”), I’m more like the little thick-headed Chicken Hawk baby dragging him around by the ass feathers. In short, I did not sniff in diffidence at Hellboy. I glanced at my watch too many times - once qualifies as enough, sorry, and I did it 3 times during this film - and failed to even summon a courtesy laugh for most of the jokes, and Christ I laugh at everything (except the preview for the new Wayans brothers film) - so don’t point and shake your head slowly at my fuzzy wall diplomas. In short: films suck in spite of the fact I’m smart, not because. Teleology is fun and all, but not relevant here.
THAT PRETENTIOUS JERK WHITTA AND HIS ENTIRELY CORRECT OPINIONS OF THIS FILM. Why I never! Which is odd, since I almost always always. Who are you arguing with again?
So, let me get this straight: it sort of sucked, Gary correctly (but NOT! correctly, amazingly) warned you, so you went in expecting the worst, was surprised that it was better than worse than what Gary (in)correctly told you it would be, but SIMULTANEOUSLY was disappointed BUT NOT AT ALL IN THE WAY us pretentious bitter old queens were, but it’s all your fault in the end anyway. So why are you blaming us again?
I came into this post expecting not much from you, and although I wasn’t disappointed, nor impressed, you did manage to confuse me in a way that only a dream about my ex-fiance having sex with me and tearing off her mask to reveal she’s my mother, but she doesn’t look anything like her, and has a vagina that looks like a wall outlet, would, and so I applaud you for that and damn myself all the same.
Two quick comments on your exceptionally well thought out and wordy reply:
I saw the movie before I read Whitta’s opinions Mr. Chronologically Challenged. Should I have spelled this out for you better? My apologies.
I’ll give you a B for effort here. The Dr. Cryptian style you are shooting for wasn’t quite fully realized but you certainly are on the right track. Practice my boy, practice…
Okay, I was/will be sorry for that, then (never mind, nobody saw that stupid cartoon except me). However, I don’t see how this minor point changes the fact that you felt we’re all faux intelligentsia ripe for a STAT ego deflation a la your withering comments about our negative opinions. You know, the ones you TOTALLY AGREED WITH?
WHY TO BE MENTIONED IN THE SAME BREATH! Accolades from a dude! I should faint. Fan me with your overblowing sense of self-importance, my friend, lest I succumb to the vapors of forlorn humility. Also, again pardoning my time continuum impairments - daylight savings just fucked me all up; fall forward? Spring back? Oh, who knows - but have we yet, or will we ever get to the part where you attest to why you did your little meta send-up of all of us who didn’t really care for the goddamned film? Since you didn’t either. You can forego the cutesy-wootsy AND DARE I SAY PRETENTIOUS? grade-bandying and golf-claps and clumsy sarcasm you pointlessly cantakerous types seem so keen on resorting to in your reply. Unless, you know, tee-hee, you want to give me the practice or whatever.
For some reason I was quite enamored with Lightyears when I was younger. But then, I liked Fantastic Planet, that group’s previous animated film, for it’s weirdness as well.
You bastard. You just ruined that mnemonic for me. I know I’m going to get those mixed up from now on. Thank God my trusty computer keeps tracks of such things for me.
Just saw the movie last Friday, so now I can read through this thread and comment. :)
Worst complaints: Shooting a film with only three colors sounds good on paper, but man, is it hard on the eyes. And yeah, the whole door thing.
I’ve only dabbled in the Hellboy comics, but isn’t the movie adapted straight from the Seeds of Destruction comic miniseries? That would explain the pacing problem; the same thing happened to the Harry Potter movies. By sticking to the exact same plot of the books, it resulted in a jerky, uneven feel for the big screen.
Not the best movie I’ve ever seen, but considering it’s a comic book adapation, I’m willing to give it bonus points for being true to the source material.
For some reason I was quite enamored with Lightyears when I was younger. But then, I liked Fantastic Planet, that group’s previous animated film, for it’s weirdness as well.[/quote]
I love Fantastic Planet! Is that Lightyears movie really by the same people? I thought the only other movie they did was Time Masters…
I’ve only dabbled in the Hellboy comics, but isn’t the movie adapted straight from the Seeds of Destruction comic miniseries? That would explain the pacing problem; the same thing happened to the Harry Potter movies. By sticking to the exact same plot of the books, it resulted in a jerky, uneven feel for the big screen.
Yes and no. Reading through Seed of Destruction right now. While the broad strokes of the movie’s plot come from SoD it isn’t anywhere close to being a scene for scene adaptation like the Potter films. In fact, there is a lot more packed into the movie than the initial comic series. Elements like Sammael and the corpse aren’t in the SoD comics. The movie defintitely has pacing problems but they don’t result from a too-strict adherence to the source material.
I saw it and thought it was okay. Definitely has some funky problems, but overall it ain’t bad, just not great. What worked for Seed of Destruction, leaving it much of a mystery and the the funkiness of it all, didn’t translate to well to the screen. And I felt there were too many redshirts, er, blacksuits, etc. They didn’t need to turn it into a love story, and they definitely needed more characterization generally speaking.
The frog-things are basically the Sammaels, and there is a corpse in the comic, the way he “helps” HB is totally different than the movie.
No big suprise about this, but while I was flipping channels last night, I saw Perlman on Dennis Miller’s CNBC show, and he said that the Monday after opening weekend, he got a call from Revolution Studios green-lighting Hellboy 2.
