Help me build a remote sprayer

Take a spray bottle. Take some strong string. String said string in such a way across the door panel at cat-height in multiple configurations such that cat scratching will pull the string. Tie the end of the string in a slipknot on the trigger of the spray bottle such that pulling on the string will cause burst of water to moisten cat. This may require more than one spray bottle depending on strength of cat and width of door.

3 easy steps:

1 - flood your house with six inches or so of water.
2 - buy one of these things here
3 - use above item until cat gets the message.

I’m sorry, but did no one else note that ElG’s been using “we” throughout this conversation? Is his torrid hot tub romancing of the female DC population over?

It has been for a little while.

The cat must be a voyeur. When my X and I were dating a long time ago and crashing at her place, her room-mate’s dog used to spy on us through a gap in the door.

Go to automobile scrap yard.

Buy windshield washer tank with built-in pump. Grab some of the rubber line for it and the nozzle too.

Bring home. Clean it (kitty will probably drink if you spray a shitton). Run the line however you want so that the spray pattern amuses you.

Hook up the windshield pump to an old AT form factor power supply. When you want to spray, turn on the power supply switch.

INSTANT GRATIFICATION.

Lego Mindstorms are your friend.

http://www.techno-stuff.com/PIR.htm
+
http://www.arrickrobotics.com/arobot/legoms.html
+
http://science.howstuffworks.com/question673.htm

cat be gone.

This cat will religiously start smacking the blinds at exactly, -exactly- 8:02 AM. If that doesn’t work, there’s a lampshade with a little play to it, just enough to bump and rub noisily without tipping anything over. She will insist on it until someone goes down to feed her, or she avoids a couple of assassination attempts via extra pillows.

You need automated cat feeders!

http://is.gd/Fl3

These things changed our lives. I am not even slightly joking.

Also, Talisker, thanks for the scatmat tip. We have one cat that loooooooooves jumping on the counters, and she’s super-super sneaky about it too.

Hold the cat down, and read Sylvia Plath to it at night, it will never bother you again because it will be too busy contemplating its own self loathing and hatred.

Either that, or use a quake map editor and put a lava patch in front of the door.

Ha. Our cat does the same, pushy brat that she is. She’ll actually bat at our noses if we don’t react. Shutting her out of the bedroom results in her yowling for hours, so we’re trying to negotiate a compromise. If she lays quietly on the bed with us, she gets petted and praised. If she starts running laps around the bed or walking on our heads, she gets unceremoniously removed and dropped to the ground. It’s a pain-in-the-butt work in progress, but it’s the only thing that (occasionally) works.

The tape trick always worked for me on both furniture and carpet. In fact it worked so well I used it to prevent playing with the plants and pouncing onto the countertop as well. After a few sessions of coming home and the cat moping around with tape all over himself I think the learned his lesson.

None of the smell associated sprays or techniques ever worked, and tin foil just became a toy. In general though, if you are really attached to the item you’re going to need to move it away until the cat can associate to another object for scratching. Preferably one you purchase and put nearby that area.

EDIT: Note here that we used tape that was loose enough that it came off onto the cat when he touched it or stepped on it.