Hercules: The Thracian Wars

Anyone else excited about this? I keep waiting for a trailer.

Absolutely! It stars great actors like John Hurt, Ian McShane, Peter Mullan, and Dwayne Johnson. Who wouldn’t be excited?

-Tom

What? WHAT?! What is this?! All thing of hallowed antiquity are per definition great! thanks for bringing this to my attention. I gather since Hercules is part of it, its mythological movie and not a historical one? A shame but one takes what one can.

The bad news is it’s directed by Brett Ratner.

-Tom

Booo! Hiss!

Brett Ratner: The poor man’s Michael Bay.

Herakles, godsdammit. None of this sissy Italian Hercules nonsense. Harrumph.

(Greek mythology nerd rage, sorry)

Oh it doesn’t have Lolz or Lutz or whatever his name is?

— Alan

Trailer tomorrow at noon EST, allegedly.

Trailer up! With Tom’s favorite actor in the lead, I can’t see how this could fail.

It’s The Rock, dressed up as Soul Calibur’s Rock. About time.

Dear Hollywood,

Enough with the slo mo fight scenes. It’s 2014.

Thanks,

The World

I think I might actually watch this. I love Harrison Ford!

— Alan

Lion, Hydra, Boar - the 12 labors of Herakles? Hmmmm, well, I suppose cleaning the Augean Stables wasn’t going to be in the preview…

Gotta love the classic Lion Hat.

Won’t hold a candle to Lou Ferrigno.

In the history of cinema, there is no one more qualified to play Hercules cleaning the Augean Stables than Dwayne Johnson. Seriously.

Kind of odd, that, actually… “Everyone knows the legend of Hercules and his twelve labors. Our story begins after the labors, and after the legend…” according to a synopsis from last year according to slashfilm… flashbacks a-plenty?

Ahhhh, selective flashbacks! Remembering fighting and beating a slavering beast is worthy of a flashback, the world’s most disgusting stable isn’t. Whew.

So this is basically 49 Ronin with Greek critters instead of Japanese critters, yes? Tedious!

After seeing amazing tiger paws in Life of Pi, and here we have sludgy muppet foot, and then a lion who jumps in slomo looking badass until at the last second he bendies his paw backwards in a bizarre bitch slap. Yeah, smells of overworked CG, contrived shots, and jumping on the 300 bandwagon.

I’d much rather watch slo mo than quick cuts and shaky cam.