Hey, a religion thread!

This place is like 99% politics and 1% religion. So here is the religion thread.

Since I am non-religious, allow me to ask a question of the Catholics in the living room.

My wife’s grandmother, a tried and true Mexican Catholic (don’t worry, she was 93 and had a great, full life) died recently. Now we get to attend the religious part of the funeral ceremony, which I understand comes in two parts:

  1. The “full” rosary - this is a super interesting (to me) bit where I guess everyone is going to pray for a few hours. If you don’t know what a rosary is, it’s a string of beads where there are 5 normal beads, then a bigger bead that makes the anus pop… just kidding … the smaller beads are one prayer, the larger beads are a longer prayer. Then at the very end there is an even longer prayer for the crucifix. All in all its like 55 repetitive prayers. Should be interesting. Not sure what I’m supposed to do during this.

  2. The full mass funeral, which I’m not sure what to expect. Is this a standard sermon, or more dogmatic thing? Latin? Spanish? English? Not sure what to expect. I kinda want to see the whole weird priest outfits and burning incense thing. Would also be interesting to see how much of the Latin I grasp.

So far all I know about Catholic ceremonies I learned from The Godfather.

Want to keep this thread respectfulish, but feel free to pile on any crazy dogma or rituals if needed.

Should be interesting, at least!

Well so I’m married to a Catholic woman and was married in the church, attend with her occasionally when she feels it’s important that we go, signed a contract that I would raise my kids in the faith and what I can tell you is … ain’t got a fucking clue. I don’t think anyone actually uses Latin in the services anymore except maybe in Rome. Otherwise it’s like going to about any other church, just much more ornate accoutrements.

I have been to Catholic funeral’s but never done the rosary thing. A Catholic funeral isn’t much different from any other funeral except that they might throw in the wine and cookie part. So they can last a while.

No more latin as far as I have seen.

I don’t mean this in any disrespectful way but around here most of the priests are latino so while they are speaking english you have a rough time understanding them.

It’s been a long time, ex-Catholic, but as a former altar boy I served my share of funeral masses. For the mass, expect some standing/sitting/kneeling, just follow along with everyone else and you’ll be fine. It’s mostly a standard mass, and likely all in English, though perhaps Spanish if it is a Spanish church. The priest will likely sprinkle the coffin with holy water as well as light incense. I can’t recall if they do the “Peace be with you thing” at funerals or not, but if they do after answering the priest there may be a part where you shake hands with your neighbors and offer the same greeting.

This may have changed recently, but you should not partake in communion.

Catholics don’t actually go to church.

What’s that about?

Sure we do.

Advice given above sums it up. There isn’t much to the mass part. There will be a regular mass in whatever is the common language at the church where those present pray for the deceased. You should not partake of communion and just follow along the other people there for other things (stand up when others do and so on).

Wendelius

Yeah, that’s what I do. Stand/sit when everyone else does, smile pleasantly to everyone. So far nothing more has been asked of me, but that’s probably as much west coast laidbackitude as anything else. I do like that they take a moment to let everyone shake hands with everyone around them during the service. Don’t know if they do that for funerals, though.

It was Joke

A reference to ‘cafeteria Catholics’ - where you pick and choose the parts of the religion you wish to follow. For example, only going to church on Easter/Xmas. I’m sure members of all religions do this to some extent, but it “stuck” with Catholics more.

A rosary seems like a really weird and pointless thing to non-Catholics, I’m sure. Heck, I think it seems really weird and pointless to most Catholics. You’ll be praying mostly three prayers: The Hail Mary (lots of em), The Our Father, and the Glory Be. If you look those up and learn them a little before you go, it might be more interesting than just kneeling and listening. (Oh, you’ll probably be kneeling for the whole thing.) The prayers will probably be said in a call-and-response form, where one person says the first half and then the whole group responds with the second half of the prayer.

The other thing you’ll hear is the proclamation of a set of “mysteries.” They might be Joyful Mysteries, Sorrowful Mysteries, Glorious Mysteries, or Luminous Mysteries. What these are are just a set of events in the life of Jesus and Mary. Between each decade (set of 10 hail marys), someone will proclaim the next mystery in whichever set you’re using that day. E.g., “The Third Sorrowful Mystery, the Crowning of Thorns.”

You’re going to almost certainly find it incredibly dull and repetitive. The thing that nobody ever tells you is that there’s a reason it’s repetitive, and that’s that the prayers aren’t really the important part. When you’re a Catholic, you know these prayers by heart, so they just come out of you without thinking. And that puts you (ideally) in a kind of sacred and meditative state. So what do you meditate on in that state? The mystery that was proclaimed at the start of that decade! With those Hail Marys are pouring out of your mouth, you have set the stage for imagining and reflecting on the Crowning of Thorns or whatever.

Last bit to know: Why are you doing it? Catholics believe in Purgatory, which is where people who committed sins in their life have to face the punishment for those sins before going to heaven. (The good news about being in Purgatory is that you know for certain you’ll make it to heaven eventually.) It’s like the prison where you have to do your time before you get to rejoin society. Well, the prayers and good works of people still living can basically be “donated” to a deceased person to shorten their time in prison. So when a bunch of people pray a rosary for someone who is deceased, they’re hopefully making it so that person will be in heaven that much sooner.

As far as the mass goes, there probably will be little or no Latin. Whether it’s in Spanish or English probably depends on who they expect to be there. If your grandmother and most of her family spoke Spanish, it will probably be in Spanish. There will be a very fixed set of prayers and songs, with readings from the Old and New Testament probably relating to death and life after death. The priest will give a homily and I assume someone will give a eulogy. The last half will be the consecration (when the bread and wine become the Body and Blood of Christ). You’ll do all the kneeling at this part. All the Catholics will process to the front to receive the bread (and maybe wine). If you’re not Catholic, you just need to stay in your seat; no one will think you’re weird or rude. When that’s over, it’s just another prayer or two (maybe the eulogies will be here) and you’ll be done.

You’ll definitely get to see the vestments, probably have incense dispersed over the casket, and hopefully it’ll be in a beautifully decorated church. Catholics like colors and statues and paintings and candles… all that sensory stuff. Since your wife’s grandmother is Mexican, I’d be shocked if you don’t see and hear about Our Lady of Guadalupe, the apparition of Jesus’ mother who appeared as a Mestizo woman to a native Mexican man in the 16th Century.

I know it’s a funeral, but I hope you enjoy the encounter with Catholic ritual and culture! When it’s done, let us know what made an impression.

I am from a catholic family, but I am european. People in the america continent seems to be more religious than in europe so I don’t know if my experiences will translate well to a whole different continent and culture.

From a catholic funeral you can expect (from my POV):

  • Womens would probably dress dark or black stuff.
  • Everyone quiet, or talking in low voice.
  • Maybe somebody would cry. Maybe more than one, maybe nobody.
  • The whole thing will be long and boring, testing your religious inner needs.
  • The preacher will spout some feel-good platitudes and maybe some religious lore.

If you had strong sentiments here, it could be a good place to feel bad with other people in a corner, for 2 or 3 hours.

I tried to think of that word but my mind went completely blank. I grew up in the Episcopal church, which was basically the Catholic church without the latin.

Ha, Europeans, man. It’s like a whole other country.

I recently attended a Catholic funeral and noticed the incredibly life-like and uncanny valley crossing full size Pope Francis hanging on a wall to the left of the alter. The old priest also prayed for John Paul II accidentally before catching himself - Pope Palpatine was evidently not worth remembering.

When my grandfather (Puerto Rican Catholic with huge family and strong community ties) passed, the funeral and associated events turned everything into a three day affair.

First day was for family and friends, in the church, with not a lot of church trappings. His strong, lifetime association with that church meant it hosted a remembrance. This was long, and much of it was in Spanish. My wife, an Illinois native, does not speak or understand Spanish. This was not a good time for her.

Second day was a looooooooong mass, followed by more speeches and singing and the like. Again, a ton in Spanish. Also, my wife had never been to a Catholic service of any kind. At this point, I was starting to feel bad for her.

The third day was the actual funeral, with a (slightly shorter) mass followed by the actual graveside acts.

It can be tedious, especially for those unexposed to Catholics. Throw in additional events due to the person or specific culture, and it can be even longer.

Of course, I haven’t even mentioned how this was an eight hour drive from us, the storm that knocked out power (more importantly a/c) to our hotel during the heat of late summer, how that storm killed someone by dropping a tree on them just outside the church (not someone attending the funeral), and that this was only the second time my wife met my extended family (comprising over 120 members just from grandparents down).

Suffice to say, it was a memorable trip.

In my experience, the Rosary is usually prayed at the viewing (or wake), the evening before the funeral mass.

Non-catholic members of the congregation are welcome to participate in the communion ritual, but may not receive the Eucharist itself, in either species.

When everyone lines up to take communion, simply follow along, but instead of folding your hands in prayer, cross your arms in front of you with each hand resting on the opposite shoulder. When you come before the priest, bow your head with your arms still crossed and he will know that you do not intend to receive the host. He will then place his hand on your head and offer a brief blessing. You should respond by saying “Amen.” Then follow the line back to your seat.

As you pass before the altar with the consecrated bread and wine, Catholics believe that you are in the true presence of the Lord Jesus Christ. Many people will show reverence for the sacrament even if they don’t take from the cup by pausing and bowing before it. You are welcome to do the same if you wish.

Of course, you are also welcome to remain seated if you prefer.

There are a great number of customs and rituals involved in the Catholic mass, but few actual rules for non-Catholics. Remain respectful of the setting and don’t accept the Eucharist and you will be doing just fine.

Thanks for all the responses! Will check in later with impressions.

Get your tired slander of former Popes right! Pope Palpatine was Benedict XVI!

Was he the one who got rid of purgatory?

He’s the one who banned the Limbo. Because old sex-negative Pope Palpatine thought it promoted fornication.