Hey, how can I get Discourse to do X?

TimJames · 2019-02-03T23:02:09.554Z

The nightmare has ended, thanks.

Pod · 2019-02-04T21:39:21.603Z

Why is the discourse search so awful? If I search for a thread title and then click it I end up in the middle of a thread, often WAaaaay below my previous read point, which has just been overridden 200 posts down.

Why can’t it just go to the first post in the thread?!

stusser · 2019-02-04T21:49:07.519Z

I asked, and the answer really isn’t all that surprising. It’s because you touch yourself at night.

Discourse knows.

ArmandoPenblade · 2019-02-04T21:57:27.214Z

Because Discourse search prefers to let searches based on a thread’s title point to a random post in the middle of the thread for maximum user satisfaction.

That will be four Jeffbucks, please.

stusser · 2019-02-04T22:05:28.731Z

ArmandoPenblade:

maximum user satisfaction

That’s pretty much what I said.

ArmandoPenblade · 2019-02-04T22:06:07.090Z

oh my touching only ever causes crippling guilt and stains sorry i misunderstood

LockerK · 2019-02-04T22:20:30.416Z

The forum is really slow for me right now - lots of spinning before a topic loads, if it does.

e: Complaining seems to have fixed it.

stusser · 2019-02-04T22:25:49.846Z

Seems fine to me, and everything looks OK on the server side.

Wait, just a thought-- what do you do when you’re alone at night?

LockerK · 2019-02-04T22:31:50.213Z

Please, I’ve already caught you outside my window twice. Don’t act like you don’t know.

ArmandoPenblade · 2019-02-04T22:33:21.834Z

It was going real slow for me for a few minutes right about when LK was making his post, as well.

And I do all my touching in the morning, thank you very much.

RichVR · 2019-02-04T22:52:23.912Z

stusser:

Wait, just a thought-- what do you do when you’re alone at night?

Cry for the past that was my youth. Why?

Nesrie · 2019-02-04T22:53:32.375Z

Not going to comment on any sort of… touching, but it was exceedingly slow just a few minutes ago. I thought I had lost internet for a moment, but no it was just QT3.

RichVR · 2019-02-05T00:46:20.035Z

Real slow now.

stusser · 2019-02-05T00:51:50.130Z

Monitoring shows some issues from US east, must be some sort of routing issue. US west has latency issues, but not down. EU looks OK.

Edit: Yep, some sort of network issue going on. Started around 6:23PM ET, intermittent.

https://twitter.com/search?q=linode&src=typed_query

RichVR · 2019-02-05T01:11:13.357Z

I was having issues with gmail as well. That makes sense. Had errors about security and TL5? I think.

stusser · 2019-02-05T01:40:43.061Z

I don’t think it’s a widespread issue, Linode has a status page up now.

https://status.linode.com/incidents/z3f3m009wqq8

Nesrie · 2019-02-05T01:42:55.395Z

Discourse has been having a problem off and on all day, about ever couple of hours. I don’t have any issues with any other site.

ArmandoPenblade · 2019-02-05T15:54:55.073Z

@stusser looks like notifications are out again today–possible another background process got stuck?

stusser · 2019-02-05T16:02:17.724Z

Are you missing notifications over 30 minutes old? Backup is running, but only since 10:43AM.

Again, unclear why the hell it’s running at 10:43AM when it’s scheduled for 3:45AM UTC (10:45PM ET), but that’s fuckin’ Discourse for ya.

Edit: Actually the backup appeared to have started at 3:45 PM UTC, which is totally bizarre as I have it at “3:45” in the settings. It assumes PM?! Fuckin’ Discourse. Changed it to 15:45 because… what the hell, maybe that’ll do it.

ArmandoPenblade · 2019-02-05T16:10:37.393Z

The last notification I have listed in my dropdown is your reply to me here, in this thread, 18 hours ago. In the interim, there’ve been at least 3 that I know of, probably more I’m forgetting, direct replies and quotes that aren’t listed.