Hitler may have not died in the bunker

This is an interesting turn of events.

DNA test shows Hitler skull is that of a woman

Guess the final story of WWII hasn’t been written after all.

I’m thinking the most likely turn of events were that Hitler died in or around the bunker and the body was probably tossed into some mass grave. Stalin wanted a body and the soldiers did what they could to find remains that fit Hitlers just to get Stalin off their backs.

My guess is that he and Elvis are smoking a fatty while reading this here thread.


This was the premier episode of MysteryQuest.

My understanding is that Hitler’s body was cremated and the only remains that survived intact were fished out of the spot where they totally lit him up some time after the events transpired. I can easily believe that they got the body parts mixed up at that point and just grabbed something that looked vaguely shot-through-the-headish. The most telling thing to me is the fact that the only one of Hitler’s bodyguards that’s still alive swears that he saw both him and his main squeeze totally dead. In any event, the Argentinian Nazi uprising never came to pass (aside, possibly, from the guy who was supposed to belt-sand my inner jaw), so I suspect anything we find would be of largely academic merit.

We appear to be ignoring the obvious explanation…

That news story has too many mistakes for me to take seriously. Hitler’s remains were not recovered a year later, they were recovered days later from the shallow grave he and his wife’s remains had been put in and since they weren’t cremated (you can’t do that by dousing someone with gasoline) there were more then just a few fragments. Most evidence supports that the Soviets held on to the remains for several years and they later said they had a dental comparison done that confirmed one skull was Hitler’s. What happened to the remains after that is still a mystery (there were ex-KGB guys who claimed they simply buried them in the yard of an east Berlin safehouse), and the article doesn’t even bother to explain where this supposed fragment came from.

Promo for someone’s book, probably.

Not quite - a television show. Seriously. This research is the direct result of the first episode of MysteryQuest, which is a new show on the History Channel. You’re right to be suspicious of the findings - we’re basically taking the Russians at their word that the thing the one scientist got to spend all of sixty minutes with to take samples from is what they say it is and the chain of custody is correct and this and that and the other thing. The article is most definitely jumping to the wrong conclusion - if we assume that all of these results are correct, all we’ve discovered is that the Russians don’t have Hitler’s skull; not that Hitler escaped to Argentina.


Well, then it’s pretty clear we need gender testing for dictators then.

Well, he WAS a dictator, you know, like… with a dic… oops.

They saved Hitler’s cock
They hid it under a rock
I discovered it last night
I couldn’t even believe my eyes

If Hitler’s cock could start to talk
It would say to kill today
If Hitler’s cock could choose its mate
It would ask for Sharon Tate!

They saved Hitler’s cock
They stuffed it in Mengele’s sock
They saved Hitler’s cock
And now it wants to talk

Now it’s starting to get hard!
I found it in my backyard!
Every night it kills a dog
And now it wants some night and fog
Hitler’s cock is on the move
And now I’m scared of what it’s gonna do!

Everyone knows Hitler was gunned down in a theater in Nazi occupied France by Brad Pitt.

At this point Hitler is absolutely dead… that or 120 years old.

Is this thread godwin’ed right from the title? :)

You, sir, are no different from HITLER.


It really has been too long since I’ve listened to the Angry Samoans. Now to track down the CD so I can hear “My Old Man’s a Fatso” again.

No no, he survived the war and went on to run for MP in Minehead.

ha, ha! I hadn’t seen that one before.

There’s a lot of things we didn’t know about Hilter and the Nazis. Like these photos illustrate:

I swear, Lucas steals everything!