Ho ho ho (that's interesting)! Secret Santa 2022 for the sixteenth straight year

with fav bens?

I’m not sure what this means. Kidding, or did I actually disclose something?

Edit: The voices tell me I’m overthinking it, and you were making a joke, so I retract my mild panic and instead offer a hearty laugh and friendly eyeroll. “Oh, you!”

I’m kidding about revealing secret santa secrets

There is no cabal.

I was thinking secret santa operated under fight club rules

The first rule of Secret Santa is, you do not talk about Fight Club.

Secret Santa assignments have gone out. If you have any questions or concerns, I’m here for you – just reply to the e-mail. Happy stalking!



So, last year I spent ages stalking and it was a real challenge.

This year, I got inspired by my target in about 10 minutes flat.


Going to be a good one. :D :D

Got it!

I hope this doesn’t violate the spirit of Secret Santa, but since we’re a smaller group this year, and since I haven’t posted as much over the past year as I normally do, I’m going to make my Christmas Stalker’s life a little easier by posting my wish list here. I was going to put it on Amazon, and I told my Secret Santa as much in the form, but that required linking to specific products, which takes away some of the fun. So, whoever drew my name, here are some helpful tips that I apologize for not getting to you in the form that I filled out when I joined this year:

  • I’ve had two pairs of cheap old slippers I’ve been wearing for years. Last month, both pairs fell apart within weeks of each other. I’ve just been wearing socks since then, since who buys himself slippers? So I would love a pair of slippers, something to keep my toes warm while I walk around. Honestly, I wouldn’t even mind gag slippers, so long as they work! EDIT: My shoe size is 10! That might be helpful. Thanks @Dave_Perkins!

  • All of my Lovecraft books are paperbacks from the 80s with crumbling spines. I still read them and routinely look stuff up. I could use better copies of pretty much anything and everything by Lovecraft. But my eyes aren’t what they once were, so I’m not really interested in a giant tome with teensy print. So, basically, any Lovecraft printed since 1984 would be welcome.

  • Similarly, I like reading what other people like. If you’re my Secret Santa, odds are good that I’d be interested in reading a book that you found particularly moving, or perhaps that you resonated with when you were young, or even that you found particularly informative on a subject. I love books that people love.

  • I have bazillions of T-shirts, but precious few comfy hoodies. I love comfy hoodies! And it’s totally fine if there’s some branding on them. My two comfy hoodies are Rock Band and Texas themed, which I’m sometimes ambivalent about. I feel like the Rock Band hoodie belies my boycott of Activision, and the Texas hoodie says “Women Shouldn’t Be Allowed To Have Abortions And Everyone Needs A Handgun!” So a non-Activision, non-redstate hoodie might be nice in case I want to wear it in public. EDIT: My hoodie size is medium or small. I’m pretty teensy these days (5’9", 120#), but everyone loves a loose-fitting hoodie!

  • I haven’t given this much thought, but for a while, I was on a friend’s YouTube Premium account as a “family member”. That’s where I would listen to music all the time. But at a certain point, I got a puzzling email from YouTube asking me to verify my address. Which I did, at which point I was informed I was no longer eligible for the YouTube Premium account as a family member. Oops. Now they stick commercials in my music. Ick. I used my Amazon Prime account to tap into their music catalogue, but unless you pay an additional sub fee, you can’t do simple things like back up and listen to a song earlier in the playlist. So one thing I haven’t bothered to do for myself is subscribe back to YouTube Premium, or Spotify, or Amazon’s Music Plus That Let’s You Back Up, or whatever. I’m not particularly partial to any service, and I’ve got fairly broad and pedestrian taste when it comes to music, so I’m not picky so long as the full Blondie catalogue is in there. :)

  • A friend made me a nifty little castle-themed dice tower with his 3D printer, which I really like, but it’s super loud and bouncy. It has sentimental value, but I don’t use it much. So I’d love a dice tower that doesn’t make that plasticky clattering rattle. I know dice towers are as expensive as you want them to be, so I don’t need anything fancy, but I could use something more practical, and honestly, I’m not partial to ornate or plain. It can be simple or it can have dragons on it or whatever!

Okay, hope that helps my Santee. Any one of those would be a joy to receive! And if anyone else wants to post similar suggestions for themselves that perhaps they didn’t make when they filled out the form, I’m sure your Santee would be grateful!

Is your shoe size hidden as an Easter egg in your post?

I found it. Your feet are 3D!

I do, kid.

Stalking commences/intensifies

Doh! Fixed.

I love being called kid. I wish more of my friends would do it. I feel that once you’re over 50, you’re allowed to call anyone who’s younger than you “kid”. Even if their birthday is literally only a day before yours, you can call them “kid”.

My wacky Armenian doctor used to call me “young man”. I’m pretty sure she was either hitting on me or throwing shade at me.

Weird – I was gonna guess 10, kiddo!