Wooot!
Picking up the story from a few posts ago. A night has passed.
The following morning, Gregory woke me with a boisterous clap. We had solved the first puzzle!
“The hashed-out bits form an alternative narrative,” he said, “that stands in juxtaposition with the plain text.”
“Damn it, man,” I cried, “we have enough troubles without your grammatical confabulation! Say it straight.”
With great effort I managed to wring the truth from him, and then sent him downstairs to fetch breakfast. I re-read the message for the hundredth time, ignoring the hashed-out bits as I progressed, and gradually the meaning became clear!
With the letter opener, I revealed the front panel of the mysterious parcel. God bless it, another batch of infernal beast guardians! These appeared to hail from one of the United States, and after a few heaving breaths, I estimated that they meant me no harm.
Behind them was a metal disk that I believe Doctor Bloople Snoot of the Royal Society calls a “magneto”.
I freed the box from its container fully and was pondering the Crank thus revealed when Gregory returned with our scones. I dashed them aside, fully intent on solving this mystery before sating myself, but Gregory’s crestfallen expression gave me pause. Gathering the items, we sat quietly and ate, the box’s presence so tangible that I almost offered it a crumb.
Bubble wrapping! I love bubble wrapping.
Ooh, there is more. Not one, but two wrapped presents!
Nothing to say on the craftsmanship of the wrapping, like I had done it myself!
A copy of Pie Face! and a Lego Architecture Eiffel Tower set. Hmm… Instructions acknowledged and mission accepted, Chief Santa! I shall lure Mr. Perkins to “Paris” and trick him to launch a pie at himself!
Thanks Santa!
Gregory and I finished breakfast, but suddenly I was overcome with a desire to eat pie. I studied this feeling for a few moments and could make neither head nor tail of it. Shaking the cobwebs from my head, I suggested that we turn the box over to see if the Crank had a partner.
Gregory did so, and with a clatter, the Crank exited its channel and clattered to the table! We inspected the strange tool, which appeared to be intended as a way to impress the addition symbol + into softened wax. Gregory, having grown up on the West End, called it a “screwdriver”. I allowed him this silly fantasy.
I had been absent-mindedly plucking at the magneto during this episode when it shifted, revealing a pair of crossed slots that seemed tailor made for the tool! Soon we had freed a drawer that contained an ink pen (not usable, as far as we could see), a fantastic hairy object, a sentence, and an inquiry.
Gregory, having been raised by Acro-bats, performed several handsome flips, one of which nearly pitched him into the fireplace, but the box did not appear to respond. Then we flipped the drawer itself.
I gasped. “A quincunx!”
Gregory was non-plussed, either by my vocabulary or the clue itself, I could not guess.
The quincunx was drawn on sticky paper, which I peeled away with great care. Beneath was another copy. Why would they inscribe a quincunx on the wood itself and then cover it with a similar copy? The color of the paper was our clue. We searched the box itself until we found what we were expecting.
The wood panel that bore the quincunx wiggled beneath our trembling fingers!
I have installed myself in front of the pc with popcorn and beer. Please continue! :-)
Excellent!
Gregory slid the panel from its place, revealing an icon and a phallus. It appeared that the icon hinted at the hairy ball that had resided in the first drawer, and in fact a quick exploration of the ball revealed a tag bearing another icon: a circle enclosing a single dot.
Where had we seen that icon before? Gregory poured fresh coffee while I explored.
At last, I found it, inside the channel of the first drawer. We must have glimpsed it earlier!
Cautiously, I pressed a finger to the center of the icon, and felt the wood shift a hair’s breadth beneath my touch. Overcome with emotion, I pushed vigorously!
The main drawer burst open, and I fell back into Gregory’s arms. Was I shivering, or was he? Perhaps we both were. At any rate, his scent calmed me, restoring me to my senses. I freed myself from his embrace and tentatively prodded the soft but slick material that filled the drawer. Glancing back at him, I wordlessly inquired as to the nature of the material, but even my world-wise Gregory was flummoxed.
I squeezed one of the air pockets and it burst with a harsh pop. When I came to, I found that Gregory had laid me on the divan, and was near the box loading one of the house’s muskets.
Gregory stood beside me, holding the musket ready, while I used the fireplace tongs to remove the unusual substance. Beneath were what I can only describe as Marvels! Two wooden blocks bearing the likeness of Texas and three icons, whose purpose I shall be pondering for days, I am sure. A blue card bearing the iconography of a deformed candle and an amount of US currency. (I shall have Mr Danger Noodle look into converting this currency for me.) A red and white stick that I have seen children carrying about town. And a bag of pink gelatin whose purpose will remain a mystery until I dead, I am afraid. Gregory would not touch this last item, nor would he speak of it.
I shall pen a letter to @ankamela this evening, informing her that the dastardly puzzle has been solved, and her greatest secrets revealed!
+++ Thank you, Anna! +++ and thanks to Mike for making the box even though he wasn’t my Secret Santa.
Go, team! And get a Qt3 account, Mike! Update: @Muhlakai did!
Awesome!
Great work Anna & Mike and thanks to Dave for the excellent report of the unboxing adventure!
The idea of the box was actually @CraigM 's fault. I was grabbing coffee with @ankamela when she told me that she’d pulled Dave’s name in the exchange. I teased her that all she had to do was compete with Craig’s paper lock from last year and remembered a Grant Thompson video (The King of Random, on YouTube) where he’d recently made a puzzle box. She quickly drafted me into the escapade (I hadn’t even realized I’d registered to be drafted!) and I got to work scaling up Grant’s original design and changing from paint stir sticks held together by hot glue to plywood held together by glue and air nails. It didn’t come out perfectly, but at least it fit most of the stuff!
I hope I never, ever draw Dave’s name. You guys set a massively high bar :)
Thanks for the awesome experience, @Muhlakai, @ankamela, and @Dave_Perkins :-D
This thread delivers. Great job all involved.
Dave, the gift was awesome, but your tale of unboxing was, dare I say, the best EVER.
Thank you for such a fantastic tale.
Never had to send so close before, and alas your intended package was a failure as the brewery had been bought up and closed, so it was plan b, and I got stressed on time, still you know what to do now.
Not sure who my Secret Santa was as they didn’t name themselves but thank you! I received Zulus on the Ramparts! from Victory Point Games which I’ve been wanting to play, plus a neat ‘make your own’ totebag and a pack of gel pens for my girls. Will see how it goes having them each design half of the bag :D
Thank you, mystery Santa!
