How clean is your keyboard?

So I’ve been fiddling around with the macro mode on my digital camera and took some shots of my keyboards to see what kind of detail it picked up.

The results were horrifying.

Most of what you see there is stuff that can barely be seen with the naked eye, and at the original non-scaled-down 3mp resolution it’s even more horrific.

It should be noted that the second shot is of a brand new keyboard that’s been out of the box maybe a week.

Shudder.

Is that dried semen?

Looking at those pictures, I feel like I just woke up from a drunk where I ended the evening posting violent messages on the internet about having sex with farm animals.

You got anymore?

Mine looks like a bug deflector.

Also, I undid the shift key last night and was so horrified by what I found inside that I immediately put it back on and began to shake violently.

Knowing Witta… :lol:

I have one of those transparent Apple keyboards that come with the G5. This was a bad idea.

The keys are opaque white, so from normal operational angles, you do not see anything disgusting. However, the case underneath the keys is clear as glass. In lifting the keyboard to clean the desk, I have to pretend I cannot see inside it.

I guess it’s something you just have to live with. I suppose you can hit it with a can of compressed air every now and again, or be super geeky and get one of those keyboard covers for when it’s not in use, but beyond that it’s a piece of hardware with hundreds of little cracks and crevices and one that’s also in constant contact with your grubby mitts, so it’s bound to get filthy. I’m just amazed at HOW filthy and how fast.

So our fingers, hammering away, ends up spraying the keyboard with sweat, grease, dead skin and filth. This vile gum coats the keys and the interior of the keyboard, making anything that floats by adhere until wiped off.

Indeed, it’s just one of those incontrovertible facts of nature that we just don’t want to think about too much. Smelled a fart recently? That was a billion invisible fecal particles swirling into your nose and covering your nasal cavities in a thin film of shit.

My keyboard is waaaaay grubbier than yours Whitta. Unfortunately I can’t post any pics but after four years of daily use and aggregated food spills (I eat most meals at my desk) I can scratch the grub off with my nails. But it still works. I turn it upside down from time to time, and pry up a couple of keys to blow out the innards, but that’s it.

Every 6 months or so, I use a key extractor tool to remove the keys from my keyboards and I dump out all the hair, dandruff, food crumbs, and dust that accumulates under them.

If you really want to send yourself into a fit of depression then grab the top of the keyboard, hold it so the keys face down and tap the bottom of it lightly off your desk or table.

Just don’t do it in front of anyone.

I made this!

I needed to replace my old keyboard this past spring after an incident with my kitten and a cup of coffee. I was disgusted by the levels of gunk I found in my unsuccessful attempts to clean the old keyboard.

To slow the recurrence, I decided to put a piece of clear plastic kitchen wrap (Saran wrap) over the new keyboard. I secure it by poking two holes in the wrap for the short risers on the back of the keyboard, and the part that hangs down past the space bar is tucked under the board.

It was really easy to get used to using, and the wrap only needs replacing about every 3 months. The underlying keyboard is still in great shape. It is the home jury-rigged solution of which I am most proud to date.

The only problem is that it looks really lame, which my wife often reminds me of when she comes into my office. She also mutters something about elderly people and plastic furniture coverings whenever I remove the Saran wrap before friends come over for poker or gaming.

So our fingers, hammering away, ends up spraying the keyboard with sweat, grease, dead skin and filth. This vile gum coats the keys and the interior of the keyboard, making anything that floats by adhere until wiped off.

Indeed, it’s just one of those incontrovertible facts of nature that we just don’t want to think about too much. Smelled a fart recently? That was a billion invisible fecal particles swirling into your nose and covering your nasal cavities in a thin film of shit.[/quote]

Aww shit… I didn’t need to hear that >.<

…now I’ve gotta start carrying a mask and a bottle of Purell with me again.

The ones from Bic are excellent :)

I soak my keys in warm water+dishwashing liquid every 3rd month or so,
and scrape off the layer of crud inside the keyboard with something sharp.
In extreme cases, the shower is needed.

Perhaps a bit tedious, but I usually go over my keys with a Q-tip and some alcohol. It doesn’t get out the stuff that gets in under the keys, but then I’m not touching that so it matters little to me.

But it’s growing in there.

I think there’s a dead roach in my keyboard. Anyway I saw one crawling around under there a while back and smashed down on all the keys in a fit of rage and terror. I promised myself I would buy a new keyboard but have been too much of a fucking cheapskate to actually do that yet.

Tonight, when the world is still, when the children are asleep and the drone of traffic a distant hum, close the door. Turn off the ceiling fan. Silence the clock. Shut down the computer and breath quietly.

Press a key. Any key. Then another. And another.

Eventually: guitch

fguich. fguichfguichfguich.

Dude, buy another keyboard.

Glrup… I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. Listen to Rob… keyboards are cheap. Knowing that there’s a dead bug in your keyboard but doing nothing about it costs you your soul. Or at least your right to complain about anyone else’s clutter.