How do you solve this coding problem?

Everything else
1

My boss dropped a bomb on me today. I have to cure cancer by next Friday. In assembly language. On a 286.

I’m thinking I’ll ignore the entire medical literature on promising avenues of research - too much work! Does anyone know where I can get some tissue samples?

Also a mind/machine interface.

Thanks in advance.

2

Oh whew, I thought you were going to ask something hard, like how to simulate this situation where you see a boy in a window…

3

When next Friday comes, you can have a good laugh at the lot of them by pointing out that Visual Studio doesn’t compile inline assembler for the 286 LOL LOL LOL.

LOL.

4

Try recompiling the kernel.

5

Try rebooting and running defrag.

6

Defrags using a third party must be done every two days to make any progress. Don’t forget to defrag the metadata, the mbr, the partition table, and the coinpurse.

7

You tell him you need 10 million dollars in lab equipment. You must have it before friday. You take the 10 million dollars, put it in a swiss bank account, and move to Mexico or some place that does not have an extradition treaty.

8

P.S., the answer is:


   cured         db 1
   notcured      db 2
   cancer_status db 2

cure_cancer:
   cmp cancer_status,notcured
   jnz already_cured
   mov cancer_status,cured
already_cured:
   ret
9

Take off and nuke the site from orbit; it’s the only way to be sure.

Also, don’t bother with the Mind/Machine Interface until you have Doctrine: Air Power and Neural Grafting.

  • Alan
10

As a thread derail, I swear I see this phrase being used in QT3 almost every day. We should give the script writer in Aliens some form of royalty fee.

11

You can run Open BSD on a 286, as long as it’s 19 Mhz, I believe. Then you can lie about being secure and slower than Ashley Simpson after a good solid haymaker.

12

Tell Mike that he’s drunk and that he should fuck off. Works for me.

13

Priceless… Made my day…
Been there, done that, wearing the T-shirt.

Thanks, I needed that laugh.
:)

14

Don’t you know who your boss IS, McCollough?!?!? Haven’t you read his book?