How to handle loud talkers

Police were called to the United Artists Theatre Riverview Plaza in the 1400 block of Columbus Boulevard about 9:30 p.m., less than an hour into the filmed adaptation of an F. Scott Fitzgerald short story that stars Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett.

As the story of a man’s aging backward unfolded on the screen, drama among the spectators erupted when Cialella grew angry that a family sitting in front of him was talking too loudly, Vanore said.

Cialella told the family to be quiet and threw popcorn at a boy who had been talking to his father. The father, 31, exchanged words with Cialella, who got out of his seat and came around the aisle to confront the family, Vanore said.

The father stood, shielding his family, Vanore said. The argument turned physical. Cialella then pulled a black handgun and shot the father, sending others in the crowded theater running for safety, according to police.

Vanore said Cialella then returned to his seat and continued watching the movie.

I’ll cop to a certain amount of sympathy for the shooter.

Only if he had the courtesy to use a silencer.

Otherwise he’s just PART OF THE PROBLEM.

I love that he sat back down to watch the flick. That’s something I thought only happened in movies. Heh.

Well, he just wanted them to be quiet!

That’s exactly the kind of shit I’m scared of when I’m in the theaters. And everyone called me mad!

It’s in Philly, who’s surprised?

That, and he only shot him in the arm. What’s the big deal?

Wait, we can brings guns into theaters to deal with these situations? Man, I wish I’d known that earlier…

Also, I like the way the writer for the Philadelphia Inquirer had to pad her article with details about the movie. That the movie is adapted from an F. Scott Fitzgerald story is relevant how?


haha :) That’s awesome. She kept going with that in the next sentence, too:

“As the story of a man’s aging backward unfolded on the screen, drama among the spectators erupted when Cialella grew angry that a family sitting in front of him was talking too loudly, Vanore said.”

See, she’s building a NARRATIVE as a journalist! She’s contrasting the movie with the shooting, or something! I smell Pulitzer.

Also: Thumbs up to the shooter. Well, okay, not really. But, yeah. I’ve had that fantasy multiple times, including twice this week. (In answer to the loud lady behind me at Frost/Nixon: YEAH I KNOW DAVID FROST WAS A REAL PERSON THANKS.)

My specific pet peeve are the people who ask their companion in a loud stage whisper questions about events that are unfolding on the screen, instead of…watching the events unfolding on screen for that information.

(New character comes on screen) “Who is that?”

(Any and every new character comes on screen in a movie about aliens who look like humans) “Is he/she an alien?”

(The entire movie is a murder mystery, we’re about a third of the way into the movie, far too soon for the reveal) “Did he do it? I bet he did it!”

(Two characters meet, and apparently there’s some bad history between them, not yet explained) “What was that all about? Why are they so angry?”


Kind of makes me feel glad I haven’t stepped foot in a movie theater in many years.


This nicely sums up why I don’t go to the movies any more. Also, when did people lose the ability to whisper? I can ask somebody a question without anyone else hearing, why can’t you?


I have a friend who, when seeing a movie he has never seen before, will spend the entire film continually making predictions about what will happen next. When his predictions seem unlikely, he will make new, revised predictions.

I do not go to see movies with this friend if I can avoid it.

I catch movies in theaters as late as they’ll possibly show them, and never close to release day unless it’s something I’m agonizing to see.

Saw Bolt 3D like this, an 11:30pm showing 6 days after release. The theater was nearly empty, and best of all, no kids.

Not to go all RARRR RARRR PERSONAL ANECDOTE on you guys, but I’m a bit deaf and sometimes have to ask my wife what was said, especially if it’s whispered dialogue. Even in movie theaters. So I’ve got a bit of sympathy for those guys.

Having said that, dumbass would-be movie prophets should just shut the hell up and let the rest of us watch the movie.

This is the reason I don’t take guns to the theater. It’s also why I spent a bajillion dollars on my setup at home so I don’t have to bother with idiots.

I love when some moron yells to his buddy, “Did you see that??” when something exciting or unexpected happens in the movie. Yes. We all saw it, you fucking overly-excitable retard. We’re all sitting in front of the same gigantic screen as you and if we missed something, it was only because you won’t shut the fuck up with your distracting, unnecessary observations. And if you kick the back of my seat one more time, I’m going to come up there and shoot you with my black handgun.

You’ve just summed up my mother-in-law. I would rather punch myself in the face for two hours than watch another movie with her.

Ya know what—I think most kids are better behaved than adults at the movies. If I go to a movie like Bolt, I just assume that kids are gonna be making a certain amount of noise, asking questions, whatever, and I take that in as part of the experience. Whatever–they’re kids, and I’m at a kids’ movie.

It’s the adults who should know better–who are told right before most movies start now to shut the hell up and turn off their phone–who really piss me off. And in addition to thinking adults are worse than kids, I’ll also postulate that oftentimes (not all the time) it’s the more educated adults at the more sophisticated arty movies who are the worst of all. I go to a lot of French movies with my wife, and I can’t count the number of times I had to shush some blowhard motherfucker talking through the whole damn thing–because, you know, he’s above this whole movie-watching thing!