Do you have access to the sides of the beam? If so, I would drill a 3/4" hole through from the side, then flatten out the bottom with a chisel. Then drill a smaller hole up through the bottom into it. Like this:
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Instead of using an eye-screw, use an eye-bolt. Run a nut on all the way (so that you can “clamp” it on the beam), put a washer on it, put it into the bottom hole. Use the side hole to put on another washer and nut, then tighten them until it is “clamping” the beam.
I thought it was pretty low to just make up a fake family so he could come on here and ask for advice installing a sex swing. And honestly, it’s not like he needed our help, El Guapo pretty much has it figured out. Oh, and Guap, btw calling a woman a 100lb bag is disrespectful.
Sorry for ditching this thread so lamely, but to make amends, here are some pictures of my VICTORY.
Ultimately I took inspiration from a friend who has a trapeze hanging from some climbing rope put through holes in a support beam. I picked up some 2,700-lb load-bearing climbing rope from REI, 3/8" wide. Got some clear plastic tubing from ACE Hardware, 3/8" interior diameter, 5/8" exterior. Drilled some 5/8" holes in our support beam four inches up from the bottom, put the tubing through, put the rope through the tubing, tied some incompetent yet secure knots, added some carabiners, and Bob’s your uncle!
The ropes are so darn short because the bottom of the beam is only a bit less than seven feet off the floor, so if my seven-year-old hangs from one of the blue handholds, her feet practically touch the floor. She’s getting big :-) So the goal was high elevation off the floor, not large travel of the bar itself.
The kids enjoy it a lot, and it seems stable as hell, so it’s all good :-) Additional bonus: the holes are small enough that filling and spackling them will be no problem, when we eventually sell this house in a couple of decades.
Thanks for all the suggestions, folks, they were helpful even if I didn’t wind up going those routes.
Haven’t had any plaster fall down from the thing yet since I drilled it – the plastic tubing has high enough friction that it just doesn’t move at all even when the kids are swinging as much as they can.
Yeah, anyone has a good link for a better climbing knot tutorial, I’m all ears. Yes I KNOW I could just find one (hell, I think we have a knot-tying book at home), but if someone knows the Exact Right Knot, it’d save me the trouble of thinking about anything at all :-)