I ate two muffins

I only wanted one muffin, and shouldn’t eat any, but now I ate two and feel the glurk inside. I’m going to end up with swollen feet and diabetes. No more muffins, ever.

Why did I read that as ‘two late muffins’ in the preview.

Well, technically I guess, they are “two late muffins”.

Now, had you eaten two puffins, that would have been interesting.

you got what was coming to you.

Had no idea you were such a whore for muffins.

I’m more a donut guy myself. I never understood the appeal of cupcakes and muffins. Not counting English muffins of course.

I had two small pieces of cake with lunch because office party. I’m still riding the sugar high on the last one. I know I’m going to crash but CAKE. Come on.

In related news I am fat.

They opened a new market near me that makes the most amazing cranberry scones. Their blueberry, chocolate, and raisin scones are nothing special. Their cranberry muffins aren’t so great. Not a fan of their banana chocolate muffins, or their blueberry, or corn, or raisin-bran. Of all their baked goods, only the cranberry scones are worthy of my time. But, man. They’re great.

Cranberry orange muffins (particularly when made with fresh, super-sour cranberries instead of that sugary craisin bullshit) are the greatest thing in recorded history.

Yeah they are juicy sour cranberries, tons of them, inside the scone.

The cranberry muffins have the same thing, but the muffin guts are too moist, it just doesn’t work.

Cupcakes are better, and you can have mooore

Cupcakes are dessert, and as an adult I can’t eat dessert. Muffins are part of a healthy breakfast.

That is a hazard of proper cranberry or blueberry muffins. When made with the fresh fruit, they are a bit too gooshy. Doesn’t really bother me that much though. You just gotta be careful not to bite into one straight out of the oven and shoot scalding berry goo all over the inside of your mouth.

I’m going to be trying to make these (or loaves, depends what the missus prefers) tonight, so wish me luck :)

Take off the frosting, and there isn’t much difference, calorie or sugar wise. Whole grain muffins might have some benefit over refined flour ones, but they are still usually pretty calorie dense.

I figure I gained about 20 lbs in the first 15 years after I started working in this company. Between my house at the time and this office was a really good bakery that made really good donuts, eclairs, bear claws…well, you get the idea.

Oh I am fully aware of that. But it’s about the optics of the thing. I’ll eat a muffin or scone, but never a cupcake. I’ll order a ridiculous plate with a dozen different types of cheese including a brillat-savarin style tartufo bianco and a double-cream camembert with various chutneys and quince paste alongside strong coffee dosed with frangelico for dessert, that’s perfectly OK, but never a simple piece of cake. Some things just are not done.

In other news, there were bagels at work today. I had one in the morning.

I just had a second one. Hooray.

Don’t get me started on bagels. And bialys and flagels!

…flagels?