I can jump that

All last week I barely had a chance to play games at all, but finally on Sunday the way was clear. I finally got to play Crackdown for hours and hours. I played until my eyes began to glaze over (literally, I wear contacts and when I get too into a game it seems I forget to blink and they dry out blurring my vision). I played so much that last night and all day today I’m thinking “I can jump that”.

When I finally turned off the console I put on the end of that Tomb of Jesus documentary. The first shot I saw was of some medium rise apartment buildings around the entrance of the tomb. I looked at the buildings and thought “I’ve got level 3 agility now, I could totally jump that”. As I watched I could not understand why the people in the film were just standing around the entrance and not jumping up to the tops of the buildings.

It goes without saying that all my dreams last night involved jumping from rooftop to rooftop.

Even this morning as I went to work I’m looking at the skyscrapers here in downtown San Francisco plotting how I will ascend them. I’m thinking “Hmm, those window ledges look wide enough to hang on to”. I’m planning how to jump from the roof of a small nearby building so I can then jump up to a balcony that’s more than three stories up. I’m looking at the Trans-America pyramid and I can probably use the window ledges to get up the first 40+ stories, but the spire at the top is pretty sheer so there’s nothing to hang on to. Thankfully I think the angle is just enough that I can pull off another jump before I start to slide down.

I think I need help, or to play more Crackdown.

Same kind of thing here. Crackdown is the first game in a while to actually have me doing the ‘I could do that’ in real life.

Hilarious. This morning, as my wife and I were driving to work, I was evaluating every building we passed for climbability. I didn’t even realize I was doing it at first–it was an almost reflexive “I could grab that ledge and then leap to the cornice over there” kind of thing. Crackdown is a great game. I really couldn’t care less about the story–I’m totally grooving on exploring the environment.

What’s more, I usually hate jumping puzzles. How did they get this so right?

This is one of those games where I think a lot of reviewers missed the boat. There are plenty in the 90 percentile, and plenty in the low 80s. The ones in the low 80s, the reviews read like the person playing had a blast. But they list off an obligatory set of “problems” like how it doesn’t have a real story or cutscenes or how the bosses are just high-health thugs. And they give it an 8.0 or something because hey, they found some negative things to say, right? It seems to not matter that those things didn’t really effect their enjoyment of the game, that they were listed mostly thanks to games like GTA (which Crackdown isn’t).

I dunno, maybe it’s just me, but it seems like everyone who plays it can’t stop playing it and talking about it and looking at their surroundings in a different way. I just have a hard time seeing how people can do that and still give it an 8 on the 7-10 scale.

I say, bring on Crackdown 2.

Most games with jumping puzzles, you’re trying like hell to jump over a 6-foot gap, and every time you fall, you die.

Crackdown, you’re trying like hell to jump 30 feet straight up, cling to a ledge, jump another 30 feet up, climb up to the top, then take a running jump across an entire city block. And every time you fall, you DON’T die.

They turned the jumping up to 11, and the dying down to 0. That’s how.

Even now with 4 strength and 3 agility I can manage to fall and die. I’m that good.

Even with 4 stars in strength and agility, I couldn’t catch up with and pick up
the bastard truck that splashed me today :(

Wait, the agent is not me. I need to write that down somewhere prominent.

My office building faces the Dallas Convention Center. After a meeting on the 11th floor, I was looking over at the huge dome over the center’s auditorium and thought to myself: “There’s got to be an orb at the top of that dome.”


Crackdown doesn’t have much of a story.
Crackdown doesn’t have varying missions or objectives.
Crackdown’s bosses are very close to the same. You fight his buddies. The bosses themselves are nothing special.

Who gives a shit?

I never read the manual that says a game needed all of these things to be good. The review checklist needs to be thrown out the window. It’s silly and doesn’t apply to every game.

It certainly doesn’t apply to a sandbox game like this, no matter what the GTA games have to say about it.

After playing crackdown for a few hours I fired up some Guild Wars Nightfall. For the longest time I kept trying to get my character jump until I remembered there is no jumping in GW. A game is now broke if it doesn’t let you jump 50ft straight up.

I had a Crackdown dream about climbing up windowsill ledges after the second night I played it.

Hmm… yeah, I get it to. Or if I’m stuck in traffic, I think about just lifting my car up above my head and leaping over the cars in front of me.

First time its happened since Dead Rising, when I went to the mall and needed to check every store for weaponry.

Damn, you are all making it sound like I need to check this game out sooner rather than later. I endured a very similar phenomenon with Katamari Damacy - for weeks after I finally broke my addiction to it, I was still looking at EVERYTHING and wondering how large a katamari would need to be to pick it up. Then I visualized it in my head. Couldn’t help it.

Heh, I played some WoW after a session of Crackdown and I was frustrated because my dude was running way too slow.

Gotta say, jumping is super fun. But so’s running straight at a semi and then KICKING IT on it’s side.

Can I expect a news story soon about some kid jumping out of a window of an apartment building clutching a copy of Crackdown? (or maybe change “kid” to “man” or “game reviewer”…)

The last console game that hooked me this hard was Star Control on the 3D0.

Anyone who gave this less than a 9 rating is a jaded burnout who should stop writing about games.

I sure worked up achievements fast for this and Oblivion (getting back to Viva
Piñata soon). Last night I had a dream about posters on a forum talking about
“wall-climbing neo-acoustics and other bad cases, like evilidler”. Perhaps I need
to play something else for a while.