My wife is on the phone trying t get me put back in thehopistal. I got out to try and salvage some springtime love, and I’m feeling just so foooked. Damn near unrelenting pain now that I’m off IV pain meds, and as a fun surprise I have a ragihng infection somehwere. Gosh damn it. I just want to be home. I can’t go back right now… it’s just too much.
I know, I’m plodding my problems on the community, but this is just so damn unfair. I feel like if I go in, I will not come out. It can only get worse. Home I"m safe, though in immeasutrable pain. My God so much pain… but I can take it. BUt missing my precious Spring-time is like torture. Every day that goes by in the hsopital, I miss the re-awakening of life - that helps me get tthorugh. I din’t want to miss any more. Please don’t make me go back to the hospital… please… no. WHy coulkdn’t this have happened in winter.
I was about to start byuilding bookshelfs before my pnacrasue erupted. NOw out living room is ful of lumber… unmovable by any but me with my secret bookcase plans deep in my head. And my pond must be cleaned, drained, the waterfall finished. I need too get life started as son as possible in my mini eceology. I can’t do that if I’m netrapped in a shell of a body wracked with disease. This oculd have hit in Jan… that would have been OK…SPring was unnegotiable… OFF-LIMITS damn it. You do not fick with Springtime. Only my body wouldn’t listen to my brain. I can’t have such disobedience.
I wish I could write something that didn’t sound so lame and useless whenever I reread it, but I honestly hope you get through this time and find better things in days ahead.
Man, springtime fucking rocks. It just rocks. I know exactly what you’re talking about. This is going to sound totally and completely lame, but I just have to say thank you for reminding me. In Southern California the seasons can become a sort of meandering blur, with autumn and spring smudged between the sledgehammer of summer (at least here in the Valley) and the you-call-that-winter? that is winter. I used to flat out love spring when I lived back east. I used to live for spring, when it felt like my head was going to bust right open.
Thanks for reminding me why I love spring so much. Your words remind me that I have to look closer. I hate that you have so much pain…but I thank you for crying out like this.
That really sucks, JP. Don’t have enough info, but if the docs have a diagnosis, and they say it’s treatable at home, than treat it at home. But if there’s the chance that you might crash due to organ failure, the hospital makes the most logical sense. The blossoms will understand.
Please accept these inspirational sports quotes I have strung together into a paragraph. It doesn’t really matter that words sometimes fail us, as long as, in speaking them, we resolve to do what we know we must.
In the 8th inning you can’t hear the roar of the 9th, all you can do to hold yourself together, and trust. The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a man’s determination. Don’t let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do. It’s not the disability that defines you, it’s how you deal with the challenges the disability presents you with. We have an obligation to the abilities we DO have, not the disability.
It’s not whether you get knocked down; it’s whether you get back up. Don’t give up at half-time. Concentrate on winning the second half. You find that you have peace of mind and can enjoy yourself, get more sleep, rest when you know that it was a one hundred percent effort that you gave - win or lose. I’ve always made a total effort, even when the odds seemed entirely against me. I never quit trying; I never felt that I didn’t have a chance to win.
People will tell you that I overcame obstacles? Maybe. But the truth is I was incredibly blessed in my life. More was given than was ever taken away.
I have been watiting for a while to work in my personal interpretation of your name “jiptard” into a clever remark that would get noticed. I don’t think this is the thread to do it though.
Where are you situated? we’ll try and sneak some potting soil and man sweat to your bedside. You can huff on that for a few weeks to keep you tied over. (or to tide you over.)
If you go back in again and make it out in time for Fall, I recommend a vacation in Brazil or Australia. Then, after the Summer there begins to cool off, truck back up North for another Spring.
Good luck JP, and as far as the hospital: whats your DOCTOR say? Forget the wife (unless she’s a doctor, and I say that even though I’d go if my wife told me, but thats just because I do what she tells me)
