I finally understand Star Wars

Even the crappy new episodes now make sense.


Speaking of crappy writers who have columns…

You know how conservatives supported Pinochet over the mildly socialist alternative?

Gotta love this part.

Make no mistake, as emperor, Palpatine is a dictator–but a relatively benign one, like Pinochet. It’s a dictatorship people can do business with.

Yes, a benign dictator who had every member of a certain religion exterminated.

Also, unlike the divine-right Jedi, the Empire is a meritocracy. The Empire runs academies throughout the galaxy (Han Solo begins his career at an Imperial academy), and those who show promise are promoted, often rapidly. In “The Empire Strikes Back” Captain Piett is quickly promoted to admiral when his predecessor “falls down on the job.”

Of course, we’re glossing over the fact that the predecessor was executed, as were many like him. And just what the hell are we defining a meritocracy as anyway? To be a Jedi you have to be good with the force. The fact that lineage is a factor doesn’t compromise the meritocracy. To be in the NBA you have to be good at basketball player. Coming from tall, athletic parents sure helps. Besides, we know the Jedi turn down force sensitive prospects all the time. They refused Anakin training, though Obi-Wan countered the council’s wishes. So having lots of midichlorians isn’t an automatic in.

That was probably more of a responce than this article merrited.

Wasn’t Palpatine head of the empire that was building Death Stars and destroying entire planets? Yeah, that’s real benign.

Was that column supposed to be some clever spoof? If so, it was over my head.

You gave the author what he wanted. The easiest thing to do in an editorial is to say something inflamatory just to get everyone arguing about it.

It doesn’t matter that you disagree, or find it dumb. You read it, and you’re talking about it here, which is probably more than you’ve done for a lot of GOOD articles, right? :wink:

As Tom Chick said, “I now greatly dislike Star Wars.” 8)

I finally understood Star Wars when I read the thumbnail theaters over at toastyfrog.com

Does anyone remember an old article on the 'net sometime right after Episode 1 came out, wherein the author (a hardcore SW fan) explains why based on the four movies out at the time, he is convinced that Darth Vader in the first three movies is really Ben Kenobi and Ben Kenobi in the first three movies is really Anakin Skyywalker? Basically he was saying that sometime in the second or third expisodes (the fifth and sixth movies) they would “switch places” so that Anakin becamse the old hermit Ben and young Ben turned to the darkness and became Darth. He listed dozens of movie references to why things they had said made sense only when viewed in this light/context.

Damn I wish I could find that article again.