Thanks to everyone here for the advice, and particularly to Shift6. The new case arrived, which helped the temperature by maybe 5 degrees, but it was still getting too hot and crashing. Out of other options - we did as Shift6 suggested and sanded down both the heatsink and cpu a little. OH MY GOD did it make a huge difference! The chip runs literally 20c+ cooler now and all crashing problems are gone. We’ve been through like $700 in replacement hardware trying to solve this problem, and all it took was a little sandpaper. Well, at least we almost have a whole other computer from all the extra components we bought…
Her system is idling now at about 37c, even cooler than mine at 40c, despite the faster cpu! I would do the same on my own system, but mine is super-stable and never goes over 46c so I don’t want to fix it if it ain’t broke.
Thanks again Shift6 :)