I rank ranking as follows

Movies
1
  1. Somewhat important
  2. 74%
  3. Very unsatisfied
  4. 6.2
  5. Four-and-a-half stars
  6. B-
  7. Red Alert
  8. Needs improvement
  9. #9
  10. Two thumbs up
2

What about “shit Bonerz”?

3

I don’t know how you could leave “Good if you like this sort of game/movie/whatever” off the list. It’s an instant classic. Oooh, Instant Classic! Add that!

4

You forgot the greatest review cliche of them all: “<Game X> is like <tangentally-related game, movie or artist> on <random, generic drug reference>”. Bonus points if the drug reference doesn’t actually make any sense: “Katamari Damacy is like Super Monkey Ball on Methadone!”