I'm a lumberjack: the log-splitting thread

Anyone else use a log splitter? This was my experience. About four years ago, pre-pandemic, we had an enormous tree cut down before it toppled onto the neighbor’s house. The tree crew asked if I wanted the wood, and since we have a fireplace, I said absolutely. Unfortunately they didn’t split it, so I figured, hell I’ll just get out my trusty axe is split the wood. My wife laughed and rolled her eyes.

I discovered at my age (60s) I don’t have the strength to split enormous logs with an axe. I tried finding someone to split the wood for me and realized they’d charge well over a thousand dollars. So the piles of tree sections sat in my backyard, with vines and weeds growing over them:

Then a few weeks ago, I discovered the solution: an electric wood splitter:

It literally makes me a lumberjack. Here’s someone’s YT video of the device in action.

I ordered it on Amazon for about $330. There are several different brands to choose from, but this one was well reviewed. It arrived Thursday and yesterday I set it up (it was mostly assembled; I didn’t put it on the stand). I also bought safety goggles and even read the fuckin’ manual.

I discovered they were testing to see if I read the fuckin’ manual:

And then I began my career as a lumberjack:

Worked like a charm!

Within an hour I had a good pile of split wood:

I spent another hour today splitting more, then stored all the wood in my garage in order to dry out.

I would imagine this wood will take a year to dry out; I could use it perhaps in the winter of '24.

There is a ton of the fallen tree still left; this weekend’s work barely scratched the surface. I’ll do a little at a time, and I’d hope by next summer to have everything split.

Moral of the story: you too can be a lumberjack!

Awesome tool! Congrats.

(I hope mold won’t be a problem on those old af logs.)

Doesn’t matter how young you are, manual log splitting is way more work than you think!

Do you put on women’s clothing, and hang around in bars?

It wasn’t in the manual, sorry apparently not!

Just in case the reference was missed:

Not missed at all! It’s a classic.

Hadn’t thought of that. I saw no evidence of mold in what I split, but I will keep my eye open.

If they cut it down 4 years ago, it’s no longer green. If you can keep it covered or store it under a roof it’ll dry out before this winter.

If this dude is having trouble splitting logs and keeping up with the kids, you and me would likely die trying. It’s a very entertaining video.

Wow, that would be great, thanks.

Ok, first things first: that log splitter you have is a complete copy of the Harbor Freight Log Splitter and if you haven’t modified the switch and added a footpedal you are doing 2x the work you need to do (seriously, holding that fucking button with your face inches away from the log as it splits is notoriously dangerous)

So watch this video and do the mod:

I used a nail. It’s just as effective.