What if you combine the two? When you think about it, if an octopus can makes itself so convincingly into an exact replica of a multi-colored and multi-textured branch of coral, there’s no reason why it couldn’t also make itself into an exact replica of Mila Kunis.
But it would be an Octokunis.
Octomila?
Either way, I’d want nothing to do with it.
There’s no reason to be afraid of an octopus though, not even the Giant Pacific Octopus, native to the Puget Sound. Giant kind of overstates its size though, if you stretched out two of its arms to their fullest extent the tips would measure about eight feet across. Anyway I used to volunteer at the Seattle Aquarium and learned the most fascinating things about them:
They can fit into the tiniest places because the only actual hard part of their bodies is their beak-like mouth. Anything that the beak can fit through, an octopus’ entire body can fit through.
They have problem solving skills! A researcher put an octopus’ favorite toy in a screwed-shut Mason jar and the octopus managed to get it open after several minutes of experimentation.
They are very short lived, maybe 4 or 5 years and also live a hermit’s existence, staying in caves that divers can sometimes find by looking for piles of crab shells that the resident octopus will hoard.
They reach sexual maturity just near the end of life, and males become senescent (or senile) and begin wandering from their caves. They’re often eaten by predators before they manage to die of old age. Females stay in their chosen cave and guard their octopus eggs, not leaving their cave to eat, and eventually starving to death shortly after their little ones’ births.
Dude, you need to cut back on the tentacle rape hentai.
So basically the life of an octopus is one of conforming to society and the world, manual labour for humans and losing your virginity really late. To top it all off you develop early disposophobia which appears to send you senile and inevitably gets you eaten by a larger sea creature.
Not sure I’d opt for octopus if I were to get reincarnated.
mdowdle
3127
So what was that octopus’ favorite toy? Was it more like a Barbie Doll or more like a frisbee? From what you’re telling me, I’m hoping it wasn’t a toy gun.
Sammich
3128
It was Mila Kunis.
And to keep the gifs coming…
Wow. Being an octopus sucks.
Yeah, from the tentacle porn you’d think they were real playas.
Didn’t you read Tom’s post? Octopuseses don’t have tentacles; they have arms!
(Per wiki, the difference is that tentacles are longer, and only have suckers on the tip.)
More octo-camouflage:
Kael
3132
I like how researchers assume that male octopus’s wandering farther and farther away from their clutch of babies and mate are “senile”. Maybe octopus wives are just nags.
My memory is kind of hazy but I am thinking it was just a golf ball. Nothing too unusual.
Bumping because laser-guided kitty did not get nearly all the love it deserved, what with all the OMG I H OCTOPUS b.s.
Whatever man, you wouldn’t see an octopus falling for that shit.
Discussion about what cephalopods are really doing:
Fascinating how the camouflage really works.
Running kitties into things is mean.
Reminds me of this one, which I think IS a repost:
