Yes, I’ve been in this position once, and it worked out for me. I got to stay in a job I liked and got to upgrade my salary to match the market.
But… the way Adam wrote about his situation, it seems like the new job is a better job in all respects, not just salary. In which case why string it along?
Really appreciate the discussion here, everyone.
My current boss just straight up asked what number would make me stay. And I’m still so conflicted. I got bills to pay, you know? And if they came back at like 15% more than the new offer, that’s a lot of scratch.
But I’ve already agreed in principle with the new place and would feel like a real jerk for taking that back, or for going back and saying “I know we agreed on this number, but current job is offering this other number, so…” in hopes of getting more that way.
But I am in the business of selling my labor so I can feed my family, so walking away from a higher bid and/or not taking advantage of a situation like this feels like I’m just leaving money on the table.
I think I’m landing ultimately on feeling like even if I made more money in the short term, I’d be less happy in the job and suffer some damage to my network/relationships/reputation that will never really go away.
Am I crazy?
Not crazy at all. Change is hard. A new job requires a not so small leap of faith. Sounds to me like you know what you want/need to do and are just taking the time to really think it through first. That’s good. Don’t overthink it, though, and talk yourself out of a great opportunity.
It’s business. Would they feel bad for paying you less? Then you don’t need to feel bad for asking for more.
As noted above, there are plenty of other reasons that you might want to leave that aren’t directly money related. More money doesn’t necessarily address those.
For me, the answer to this question has always been clear. Between a job you like and a job you don’t, unless the latter is the kind of gig that leads to you retiring in five or ten years, the job you like is almost always the better choice.
You’re all the best. Pulled the trigger, told current boss I’m taking the new offer. Wheeeee!
Congrats and good luck!
Congratulations, sir!
Congrats! From what you wrote sounds like you knew this was the right choice… Happy to sit on the sidelines and watch while others confirmed ;)
Just want to pipe in with the crowd here, congrats Adam!
As someone who has done both in my IT career, let me suggest that the leave-return route is preferable. I’ve accepted a counter offer to stay before, primarily because I wasn’t all that jazzed about anything except the money at the new opportunity, and I definitely noticed that future raises/promotion opportunities were lacking. I think the employer felt that they had paid a painful price to keep me in my difficult-to-fill position and now that they had paid up they were secure in me holding down that position long term.
On the other hand, the leave/return route I did worked out wonderfully. I was pretty happy with the company I was at but my specific role wasn’t the best and promotion opportunities seemed lacking. Onboarding tech folks and bringing them up to speed is painful, so there was a general culture of not wanting to let people move roles to avoid that pain. However, once I’d (amicably) left for another job that pain left the equation. So when I talked to them a couple years later they were super excited about bringing me back and we had a good discussion about what they needed and what I wanted. A specific role was created to suit and everyone was a winner.
Emotionally I’m in love with the idea of spending years or decades growing a career with one employer but that’s just not how the market for tech talent works unfortunately. Career growth comes from a willingness to change jobs every 2-5 years.
Let me add my congrats to Adam B and suggest that it sounds like all the right moves were made. I’d also add a suggestion to exit gracefully and bend over backwards to make everything smooth not just for the boss but for the team. Former colleagues that like you are a great source of opportunity later and a former employer that misses you can also come through in a big way.
I too wish this wasn’t the case. Even just from a systems and domain knowledge I would love to be able to stay at one position for more than 3-4 years, but I also don’t like the idea of leaving a boat load of money on the table since, well I subscribe to the work to live, not live to work philosophy.
I feel like I’m in the minority here. I am on my 15th year at my current gig. They snuck in a benefit initially that has me hooked, pension. Its extremely rare these days and having it at 50 is what’s keeping me here. That and I truly love my coworkers.
I guess my advice is to always evaluate day to day, but there is no set in stone rule that you have to leave to be happy and get raises.
Lol, I think I’ve had one company offer me 401k match and that was back in 08. That’s about it for any company giving me any sort of retirement plan.
I’ve had some decent percentage matching at a few companies for 401k or Roth IRA. I’ve had stock options at one company as well. There’s always some give and take though. In the meantime, healthcare costs have gone waaaay up and company percentage of that has gone waaaaay down.
I can understand why it’s so hard to leave. I worked with great people and awesome managers on the same team for over 10 years. I got a great offer to move to a new team, yet it still took me weeks to convince myself that taking it was the right move.
I kept wondering if I was “abandoning” my old team, or if there was anything they could do to convince me to stay, or anything else. But ultimately it came down the the fact that I needed a change. I needed new things to work on, with new people.
Congrats on taking the offer!
Man. Yesterday was super stressful with all that stuff. Now that the decision has been made, life is good!
Had a really good convo with the soon-to-be new boss yesterday. I just laid it all out for him, told him I was taking the offer as-is, and the reasoning I had behind everything. He was super supportive, reassured me that there are absolutely going to be opportunities to grow in the new role, and that he appreciated me taking the time to make the right decision for me.
Like I said, I’m actively excited to work for this guy. He very much seems like a leader, not a boss.
Congratulations. I hope this opportunity works our great for you, and yeah leaders are so much better than bosses.
A smart and experienced person once said that working for a startup is like jumping out of a plane and trying to figure out how to make a parachute before you hit the ground. Whew. In late January/early February, I was legit worried about the whole “hitting the ground” aspect, at least as far as it concerned my job. Now in early April it’s like “Holy crap, the next three months of my life at least are going to be bonkers busy.”
Busy, however, is good. Much better than the alternative.
Congrats, @triggercut! From what you’ve said elsewhere you’ve seemed very enthusiastic about the work, so best of luck that it keeps getting you a paycheck!
I flamed out hard at my first startup job. New job is hopefully the best of both worlds: Small company with a lot of growth potential but stable revenue from large, stable clients (and funding the coming growth through revenues rather than debt).