In June of 2009, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull co-star Shia LaBeouf told reporters that Steven Spielberg had “cracked” the story for Indiana Jones 5 and that he believed “they’re gearing that up.”
No doubt.
What we need is someone with Glenn Beck’s powers of persuasion and crazy to suggest nightly that, he can’t be sure, but it’s possible George Lucas is working with terrorists to recut Star Wars again.
They need to go back to their roots with the “religious mythology/not supernatural wait that was supernatural but not SO supernatural that everything turns out to be a fucking alien ship.” Besides the fact I hated the aliens in the last one, it wasn’t based on any fucking archaeology. Crystal skulls? God dammit, people have them in their closets and claim to be able to talk to them. The Ark of the Covenant and the Holy Grail? No one is really claiming to have those. We never saw the face of God in Raiders of the Lost Ark. We never saw Jesus in the Last Crusade. We never even saw god damn Kali in The Temple of Doom. Why the fuck did we get to see the aliens in Crystal Skull?
How about Indiana Jones and the Spear of Destiny? They could’ve kept it set in Nazi times and just dyed his fucking hair. Don’t want to stick to Christian mythology? Indiana Jones and the Lost City of Gold. Indiana Jones and the Pelican Spear. Indiana Jones and the Lance of Olyndicus. Indiana Jones and the Thirteen Treasures of Britain. Indiana Jones and the Seal of Solomon.
I’ve got more! Make Lucas call me :(
Indiana Jones and my car keys.
No, really, I’ve been looking for weeks. It’s epic!
I love that show.
/Stan’s dad is awesome
Seems to be the case since the opening scene of Lazenby’s only movie made a reference to the previous Bond “I wonder if this always happened to the other guy?” (paraphrase)
On the other hand, the literary Bond is the same human, and you could argue that since The World Is Not Enough was a late, late entry in the series but is the family creed of the Bonds, they are suggesting it’s the same guy.
I’m not too assed about it. I save my analytical mind for things like The Prestige or Primer.
H.
Indiana Jones and The Secret of Monkey Island! oh wait…
Just pointing out that there are people who claim to be in possession of the Ark of the Covenant.
And isn’t there some church in Ethiopia that claims (or is claimed by others) to have the Holy Grail in their possession?
According to that guy on the History Channel, yes!
Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Summoner: Indiana Jones and the Soulless Army
(sorry, couldn’t help myself)
Crazy people claim lots of things, but you don’t see the Ark or the Grail showing up on History and Discovery Channel shit, like the crystal skulls.
WHAT!!
You are crazy.
Raiders hands down is my favorite, but I never understood the hate for TOD. I always enjoyed it. To me it was always the best in terms feeling like the old Doc Savage/ 1930 adventure serials the movies were emulating and seriously who didn’t enjoy the mine car chase and voodoo dolls.
I’ll leave you with this.
Raiders ends with the vast warehouse full of boxes as the ark is packed away and the raiders theme plays.
Temple Doom ends with the freed slave children hugging Indy and the villagers cheering as the Indy theme plays.
Last Crusade ends with Indy, Sala, Marcus and his father riding off into the sunset as the Indy theme plays.
Crystal Skull ends with, I shit you not, a group of old people (one with a walker) walking out of a church as the Indy theme plays.
It’s the modern era and Indy is 110 years old, though he’s aging slowly due to his brief contact with the cup of Christ. Vampire-fever has swept the nation due to a series of books and television shows and as such real vampires have decided that it’s high time to become more public. Now only Indiana Jones can save the world, but first he must find Ascalon, the sacred lance of Saint George, whose exploits at defeating a dragon are a mistranslation of him having slain a dracul, the same line of vampires that spawned Dracula! Ascalon itself is a wooden lance carved from the base of the True Cross. Indy needs to use it to defeat the gibborim nephilim, the ancient fathers of the vampiric race.
Go Team Indy!
I like Patton Oswalt too.
Rewrite and add nazis, and I’ll watch it.
Sarah Palin’s the bad guy.
Edit: Too easy. The bad guys are actually an army of vampire Nazis who think that vampires are the master race, lead by vampire Himmler.
Raiders hands down is my favorite, but I never understood the hate for TOD. I always enjoyed it. To me it was always the best in terms feeling like the old Doc Savage/ 1930 adventure serials the movies were emulating and seriously who didn’t enjoy the mine car chase and voodoo dolls.
Same. IMO Raiders is far and away the best (unlike with the Star Wars films, there’s not any competition). But I’ve always enjoyed ToD. The score is fantastic – almost the equal of the first film – and there are great sequences – the opening all the way to the plane crash, and the little romantic pas-de-deux interlude before they explore the mines, and the harrowing human sacrifice, etc. It’s a great riff on Gunga Din, among other things.
There are moments of pure Spielberg, I mean in the best way. Look at how he stages and blocks the whole sequence where the guy in the village is narrating what happened to them since the sacred stone was taken away, and Indy is translating, culminating in the words “Their children. They took their children.” I’ve seldom, in any movie, seen a sequence that so effectively sets up dangerous stakes and high adventure, a perilous task about to unfold, and the momentum of a story rolling confidently into its second act.
I think a lot of people are severely annoyed by the Kate Capshaw character, not only her shrillness but also her relative lack of self-reliance compared to Marion in Raiders. I can see that being an issue but I don’t think she ruins the movie.
Again, though, none of the sequels is a patch on Raiders. Raiders stands alone.