It's that time of the year again...

/crickets

Well, actually, the sound of crickets biting an APPLE.

The title for this thread is terrible. Yes, very terrible.

God I fucking love our horrible titles.

Power to you, @Enidigm

I weirdly knew what this thread was and that’s why I clicked on it. I’m looking to upgrade from my 6S this year, and I see they leaked 3 models of iPhone already (“accidentally”, I’m sure). XS, XR, and some other, third model I forget. A larger XS that’s like a 6.8" or something. I’m sure we’ll hear all about it in an hour when the event starts. I won’t watch it, but I’ll keenly check this thread for more details.

Of course, I suspect most folks won’t know this is the thread for the Apple event, so this may not end up being the best place for casual details…

Thank God and wumpus for thread mute.

Will there be any surprises left? Feels like everything has been leaked.

Hi. You may have noticed that I’m not Steve Jobs. Sorry about that."

“Also, we’ve got nothing for you. Nada. Oh, maybe an even more expensive phone, which we know you will only use as a camera anyway, and we didn’t improve the camera. We know you’ll fucking rush out to line up to buy it anyway, so thanks for the cash influx.”

“Other than that sorry, nothing. Suck it. Buy our stuff.”

I was wondering why someone had started a late Rosh Hashanah thread in Hardware.

My prediction

More expensive, less features, better for the consumer.

Bunch of stuff was already leaked by Apple’s own website (in the XML)

Aw. Usually I start the thread with an accurate title. See what happens when I don’t act quickly enough?

I’m really curious about the new Apple Watch. I’ve got a slowly dying Series 0, and I’d love to replace it for the swim tracking / general waterproofness / better speed / working microphone. Hopefully it won’t cost more than the existing Apple Watches.

So just the Watch and phone today. I guess iPads get their day next month.

That door looks surrealistic, like seeing jaggies on the moon. Is reality skeuomorphic now?

“Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”

But more seriously, for those with elderly relatives, this would easily replace the pricey Lifeline service. I would have loved this for my Dad.

Well, as long as they charge it every day, and then remember to wear it. The reason Lifeline worked was because it could sit around their neck for effectively months.

Good point. Though my Dad hated the neck one and always wore his on his wrist. It’s the kind of thing you can tell a caregiver to make sure to put on in the morning and take off at night to charge.

A ring, a record, a circle, a hole.

They’ve brought an EKG!

The watch updates are actually a big deal for health monitoring for the elderly. Falls kill old people, and they often lie around for many hours after falling. Same with the cardiac stuff, except that really starts around 45. Hopefully next year they add the rumored through-skin blood glucose monitor, that would be transformative for diabetics.

Absolutely. I’m happy with the medical improvements. Even though it’s $120 more than the now discounted Series 3, I think that’s worth the price of entry.

I’m just disappointed they still haven’t figured out the always-on time display. Don’t some Android watches have that already?