Izzit jus' me?

Or has things slowed down 'round here?[/quote][/u]

Yup. There hasn’t been much going on game-wise recently. So maybe it’ll pick up in a month or so. Then again, it could just be because Tom banned all of the kids at the cool table and now all that’s left is a bunch of geeks who’ve made a thread about flight simulators one of the most popular in the Games forum. Kill me. Kill me now.

Seriously. It is teh boringzorz around here lately.


You know what could solve this? Ducks.

OK, man, but when I get lynched for The Great QT3 Duck Posting of 2003 you’re going down with me.

What would President T do in this situation?

OK, man, but when I get lynched for The Great QT3 Duck Posting of 2003 you’re going down with me.[/quote]
I regret that I have but one life to give for my ducks.


I pity the foo who do The Great QT3 Duck Posting of 2003!

— Alan

{Brian Koontz walks down the Qt3 street, sees a fortified structure, and walks inside}

{Walks up to front counter and greets the clerk}

Brian: Hi there. What is this place?

Clerk: This is a jail. Its where we keep the miscreants and offenders of the Law.

Brian: Who’s kept here?

Clerk: We are not allowed to give out personal information without authorization.

{Mark Asher walks in from an adjoining room, sees Brian and sighs}

Mark: You again. What are you doing here?

Brian: Just seeing the sights. Quite a place you have here.

Mark: Tha… err, why should you care?

Brian: Who is being kept here?

Mark: You already know who. Bill Huffman, Derek Smart, Met_K, Wumpus, Captain Cookiepants, and Cleve Blakemore.

Brian: What kind of sentences are they serving?

Mark: Lifetime ones.

Brian: I see. I’d like visitation rights and visiting time now.

Mark: Very well, but the Warden will oversee your visits. Follow me.

{Mark walks through a mini-fortress, opening steel doors and finally comes to a long row of cells}

Mark: Here you go. The Warden will be along momentarily.

{Mark closes the door with an ominous clang}

“When I get out of here I’m going to expose you as the fraud you are!”

{Brian approaches the sound of the voice}

“Hey, who’s there?”

Brian: My name is Brian Koontz. You are Bill Huffman I presume?

Bill: Yep, that’s me.

Brian: I hear you’re not going to be getting out of here. Lifetime sentence you know.

Bill {dejectedly}: I know. All I wanted to do was discredit Smart… what a stuck-up arrogant prick! He has no shame!

Brian: Smart has more demons than most of us. He had to be better than himself to justify himself to himself. He could not afford honesty.

Bill {puzzled}: Huh?.. anyway, I’m glad he was jailed too! I couldn’t bear having him outside in the light with me in here!

{Brian hears a series of clicking, the steel door opens, and in walks the Warden…}

Tom Chick: So… I hear you came down to visit us. Hopefully we’re not too exciting for you.

Brian: Not so far. Why doesn’t this place have any windows?

Tom: The point of the jail is to remove people from the Qt3 society. Windows would just encourage people to look in.

Brian: Why would people want to look in at someone who’s better off being taken away from them?

Tom: We’re protecting people from themselves. They could have avoided contact with these people, but they couldn’t. So we had to take them away for the protection of the others.

Brian: I see. What would we do without your compassionate actions?

Tom: God only knows.

{Brian pulls and walks away from Tom and looks to the second cell, with a Battlecruiser poster inside…}

Brian: Ho there!

Derek Smart: Grrr… you’re disturbing my rest!.. You, its You!

Brian: Its me.

Derek Smart: I’d rather see Chick’s ugly mug than see you. What the fuck are you doing here?

Brian: I heard you guys were here and wanted to see how things are going for you.

Derek: Well, I have my computer but no Internet Access. I do my Battlecruiser stuff and get updates through the mail from my staff. I run the new builds… things are going pretty well.

Brian: Are things simpler for you with no Internet?

Derek {thinking}: Sometimes. But its a lot more boring and painful.

Brian: Painful?

Derek: I’m alone without the Internet {Derek tears up and turns away}.

{Brian moves to the third cell}

Brian: Hello? Is anyone in there?

{A bedraggled form shambles up}…

Met_K: Yawn

Brian: Did you just yawn at me?

Met_K: So what if I did? You’re just as boring as all the others! You’re a pretentious jackass who thinks he knows things!

Brian: Well, I…

Met_K: I don’t even care what you’re doing here! Get the fuck out of my face!

{Brian stumbles to the next cell}

Wumpus: Hehe, that sounded like fun. How are things going at Qt3?

Brian: We’re worse off without you and Blakemore especially. Noone can fill your shoes and bmulligan, hermyhermit, and benj are very poor substitutes for Cleve.

Wumpus: So hermyhermit isn’t Cleve like you thought?

Brian: Its looking less likely although I don’t know for sure.

Wumpus: It isn’t fair to jail me. What I did isn’t that bad… you’ve done far worse!

Brian: You have a lot of supporters on Qt3. You’re the most likely person to be reinstated.

Wumpus: Can you get me out of here?

Brian: Maybe. Maybe not. But Murph can, and if he does it it will heal a lot of wounds. If I do it it will only create them.

Wumpus: So is Murph going to do it?

Brian: I don’t know.

Wumpus: Thanks for stopping by.

{Brian moves to the 5th cell}

Brian: Hi…

{A clownish figure looms, with a silly addled look on his face}

Captain Cookiepants: Er… Hiya! Theesh floor is moving!

Brian: Are you okay?

Captain Cookiepants: Ur… somebody fingled my Krispy Kreme! I feel goooodddd…

Brian: I see… I’ll come back later.

{Brian moves to the 6th cell and hears a small rush of air}

Brian: What’s that in your hands?

Cleve Blakemore: Its a bunker! Complete with a 2 ton hydraulic door!

Brian: More like a 2 ounce one. Anyway… what’s up with you?

{Cleve sadly sets aside his model}: The idiot Chick jailed me. You guys must be bored out of your minds without me there.

Brian: We’re ok.

Cleve: {Humph}. The forums were different after my arrival. They were more active, more excited.

Brian: Yes, they were.

{Cleve motions for Brian to come closer… Brian does so}

Cleve: Look at Chick sitting over there looking like a dumbass.

{Brian looks}

Cleve: Notice he looks kind of dark… that’s not just shadow… he’s a blackie!

Brian: Uh, I don…

Cleve (interrupting): Hey, I’m not saying he’s 100% or anything… maybe just a bit. But that’s all it takes. I’m here, aren’t I? He’s gotta be a blackie.

Brian: Look, I have to get going. It was nice talking with you… sort of.

{Brian walks over to Tom}

Brian: The 7th cell {Nods at the one past Blakemore} looks lived in but noone is there. Who was in there?

Tom: Blakemore was in there briefly, but we decided to condense down to the first six since its easier to maintain and without voltaic only six cells are needed.

Brian: Right… voltaic. I’m thinking his stay wasn’t a pleasant one.

Tom: Probably not {Shrugs}.

{Brian looks down the long row of cells}: You have a lot of room for expansion here. Expecting a party?

{Tom gives Brian a funny look}: You never know, do you? You just never know.

Please stop writing Waiting For Huffman Qt3 fan fiction.

Aren’t there any games you can talk about?


Does anyone ever read all of one of Brian’s posts? The guy needs someone to sit on him and edit him down.

I don’t know if it’s been slow, but besides a few big releases we’ve discussed at length here (KOTOR, SWG, and AOW:SM), there hasn’t been a lot.

Also, when people are away from work or school they don’t visit the site as often. It’s weird, because you’d think people at work would be working and people at school would be studying, but they like to visit game sites instead! Traffic always drops dramatically on the weekend. It’s kind of funny.

Seriously, Brian. You need help. Or at least to post somewhere else.

Brain, in your screenplay who would play me? I think I should play me.


You can’t play yourself. We need someone who will give the role some credibility. Maybe we can squeeze you in for a cameo?

Note to forum: Tom and Mark know Murph’s feelings about Wumpus. Murph bears him no grudge – never did. Murph cannot get Wumpus back. Only Tom Chick and Mark Asher can do that. If Tom Chick and/or Mark Asher were to ask Murph “Would you object to having Wumpus back?” Murph would say “No.” Tom and Mark know that, and thus far, have not asked.

If Wumpus is not reinstated, that’s because Tom and/or Mark didn’t think it was right. Not me. I’m 100% behind Tom and Mark and their authority to play things the way they want. They chose to ban him – I’m behind them on that. But if they chose to reinstate his posting privileges, I’d be behind them on that, too.

If, as several of you seem to think, Wumpus’s being banned had anything to do with me at all, it was not at my request. Nothing was ever said to me one way or the other, so I wonder about my involvement anyway. If some of his posts directed at me were used as an example, then fine. But I had nothing directly to do with it.

Sorry to interrupt this lovely little thread to reiterate that, but I’m sensing that a lot of you think that I have the power to bring Wumpus back, and I don’t.

Back to you, Brian.

Talking about oneself in third person is usually a sign of either hubris or insanity, Murph. Which one applies best to you? ;)

A little of both. :-)

I wouldn’t sweat it, Murph. Koontz made one off-the-cuff remark about Jeff being banned because of you, which wasn’t the case even if he did work into a feature-length screenplay.