Jack Handey

The cover was pink, and the feature was “You Can Parody Anything!” I recall an image of Kermit T. Frog in one of those push trolleys for guys without legs.

Funny, funny stuff.

IMPOSTOR!

You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who makes people happy, but inside he’s real sad. Also, he has severe diarrhea.

I liked it.

Actually, Jack Handey’s “Deep thoughts” got its start in Army Man magazine. Most people haven’t heard of it because it was not a real magazine, but a comedy 'zine that was xeroxed and stapled together and just handed around. It was the brain child of George Meyer, who only made 200 copies and handed them around to friends in 1988. I was in undergrad, and the Army Man magazine quickly became a legendary piece of cult literature, with people knocking on stranger’s dorm rooms because so-and-so told them that they had pages 10 - 12.

Meyer is considered by Simpson’s afficiandos to be the true genius behind the show’s golden age of seasons 2 - 8. He only made three issues of Army Man, all of which featured the now legendary Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey, with whom he shared an office. The Simpsons first season was somewhat successful, but the producers needed a stable crop of writers when the show was renewed for season two. Copies of Army Man became bibles in the sitcom writers community, and Meyer was soon sucked out to the west coast to work on Simpsons. Handey, however, continued to freelance, writing for SnL and other outlets.

I have been desperately trying to find scans of Army Man (“America’s Only Magaine”) online, but have never seen it. If anyone finds it, please share with the group as there is some classic stuff in there. There’s one particular piece where Jack Handey describes his ideal woman. It starts out innocently enough, but slowly and subtly it becomes a description not of a woman but of an erect, engorged cock. We used to have our girlfriends read it outloud to see how long it would take before it would dawn on them what they were describing. Great stuff.

http://f2.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/thelittlegirltree/album?.dir=/f0fc&.src=ph

Wow. That’s some strong Google-Fu there, extarbags.

/me bows in admiration and respect.

And props to Jim for pulling out this amazing trivia nugget. I used to think I was clever, thinking that Deep Thoughts originated in NatLamp (won a few bets with that one, too!). Now I can see I was off by about 10 years. :oops:

Thanks, that’s the one useful skill that has come out of over four years of tech support.

Ah. Thanks, Larry.

Actually, Jack Handey’s “Deep thoughts” got its start in Army Man magazine. Most people haven’t heard of it because it was not a real magazine, but a comedy 'zine that was xeroxed and stapled together and just handed around. It was the brain child of George Meyer, who only made 200 copies and handed them around to friends in 1988. I was in undergrad, and the Army Man magazine quickly became a legendary piece of cult literature, with people knocking on stranger’s dorm rooms because so-and-so told them that they had pages 10 - 12.[/quote]

Cool. But I assume that 1988 is supposed to be 1978?

Great nugget of info, Jim!

Unfortunately, Bags’ link is coming up dry for me. That Google-fu maybe was a mite too strong?

try this one, worked for me…

I’m sticking with:

“I guess of all my uncles, I like Uncle Cave Man the best. We called him Uncle Cave Man because he lived in a cave and because sometimes he’s eat one of us. Later on we found out he was a bear.”

As a fave (though the Disney visit is still the best)

HOLY CRAP! I kid you not, I have been googling for this thing on and off for about four years, only getting results of forums where it is talked about. I feel I owe you money or something. Your skills are truly amazing. Can you find me a wife?

No, it was 1988. Meyer had quit writing for the Letterman show and was living in the midwest. I think in Wisconsin. Army Man magazine was on Rolling Stone’s hot list for '88, so I’m pretty sure the year is right.

No, it was 1988. Meyer had quit writing for the Letterman show and was living in the midwest. I think in Wisconsin. Army Man magazine was on Rolling Stone’s hot list for '88, so I’m pretty sure the year is right.[/quote]
Ha! I read Jim’s original date at '78 too, Brett.

If Army Man was indeed in '88, then NatLamp April '84 still marks the debut of Deep Thoughts!

Vindicated!

HOLY CRAP! I kid you not, I have been googling for this thing on and off for about four years, only getting results of forums where it is talked about. I feel I owe you money or something. Your skills are truly amazing. Can you find me a wife?[/quote]

I’ll work on it. PM me your requirements.

Yeah, I know the date was right, but I doubted the National Lampoon reference because I’ve never heard that Jack Handey wrote for it. But after some simple googling that I should have done, you’re right, it appears to have originated in that April issue. Mea Culpa.

one of my favorites:

“He was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land. He loved it so much he made a woman out of dirt and married her. But when he kissed her, she disintegrated. Later, at the funeral, when the preacher said “Dust to dust,” some people laughed, and the cowboy shot them. At his hanging, he told the others, “I’ll be waiting for you in heaven - with a gun.””

I also love Uncle Caveman and the trees screaming.

I’ll work on it. PM me your requirements.[/quote]

… slim hips, powerful thighs, sinewy calves, a narrow waist, a flat stomach with taut lines of muscle…

;)

That’s just about the creepiest description of a dream-woman I can image.