Just a trim please... with a side of crotch


#1

This post may seem a tad strange, but I'm genuinely curious of others experiences getting a haircut.

Now, what happens when I go to get a haircut is usually this. ~75% of the time a woman is cutting my hair, they will do the seemingly inadvertant crotch to shoulder maneuver, while navigating their way around my head. When they need to stop and chop, yup, crotch. This has happened 0 times with a male barber.

Now, do they know they're doing this? Why are they doing this? Has this happened to you? What frequency?

Note: I will be the first to admit that I am socially retarded.


#2

I predict great things for this thread.


#3

It's just you.

You are the sexy, and the (female) barbers can't resist you.

Of course, if you were the ultimate sexy, you'd get the same treatment from the male barbers too.


#4

Hypothesis #1: You are insane.

Hypothesis #2: We ladies aren't paranoid that if we touch someone with our completely clothed crotches that they will freak out, call us a homo, and beat us to death with an ironically phallic object. So we are less likely to contort our bodies to avoid incidental touch.

I'm voting for #1.


#5

Please PM me the name and address of this barber.

In all seriousness though, this has never happened to me before and I almost always go to female barbers.


#6

I have a female stylist and she's never done this to me. Is she single? Maybe it's a signal.


#7

Wait, I don't get it. You're saying she is rubbing her crotch on you? Isn't that called a lap dance? In Seattle, you have to pay extra for that!

EDIT: Not that I've ever paid extra, mind you.


#8

There was a pub/barbers here that’d give you a pint with every haircut. Maybe they should have included stripper hairdressers as well. (A women can’t be a barber, maybe they should be called babers.)


#9

Her crotch touches your shoulder? Or her crotch touches HER shoulder?

Neither sounds easy to do. Do you go to contortionist/barbers? Maybe the male barbers are physically incapable of doing this manuever.


#10

I think it only counts as a lap dance if your shoulder is an erogenous zone.

I have never had this problem, though the first thing I would note is that jamming your balls into somebody's pointy shoulder blade feels extremely uncomfortable, so dudes learn before too long not to go thrusting their hips at any and every pointy object they run across. I would recommend finding a barber with a better workspace-to-girth ratio.


#11

How low are you sitting that their crotch touches your shoulder?


#12

Yeah, what in the hell is a "crotch to shoulder maneuver"?


#13

I get the boob brush all the time, but unless your barber is arching her back, and you're 3-feet tall, I don't see how she can be brushing her crotch against your shoulder.


#14

I knew a guy who went and got his hair washed and cut every two weeks because there was a women who would dangle her boobs over his face when she was washing his hair.


#15

Fond memories of my orthodontist's assistant mashing a breast into the side of my head when I was 13. Just enjoy it, dude.


#16

But which was better - the experience itself or the week you spent telling your friends what boob sounds like?


#17

Is this one of those nekkid barbershops? If it is I'd look out for [something incredibly distasteful goes here.]


#18

I'll describe the maneuver for clearer understanding of what I'm talking about.

It's not a shoulder strandle ffs, it's a zipper firmly but gently pressing against the side of my arm.

This is far from a solitary occurance.

And, I don't understand how it makes me insane for this to have happened to me.


#19

WTF. Are you a midget?


#20

Unless she is whispering sweet nothings in your ear while she does it I wouldn't lose any sleep over it.