Just a trim please... with a side of crotch


#61

Sounds like grounds for a weird thread of your own.


#62

I hate when they do that. I get blood drawn pretty often and they do that maybe 1 in 10 times. I think it’s the ones that aren’t really confident in their technique because I’ve noticed those blood draws hurt the most.


#63

This one did hurt quite a bit, which is surprising because that stuff normally doesn't phase me. I think the issue with the pain was that she injected me before even attempting to let the alcohol dry. That could have been payback though for me braining her future offspring, but I'm pretty sure it was because she was probably new. At least she got the vein on the first attempt.


#64

You’ve never touched a breast in your life, have you?


#65

Not the swollen breasts of a pregnant woman out for blood, no. Plus the whole armpit thing you know...


#66

I'd agree, but that she runs after me to talk for ten minutes, to give me coffee from the staff machine, to give me a goodbye hug, is nothing but smiles and laughs the whole time, and my subtle-dar gets pinged, lunk that i am. It's straddling the friend/flirt line at the least.

Also she isn't actually the hygienist but the... i don't know if there is a term... dentist's helper? She doesn't clean, she assists the head dentist (who is herself a distressingly married and attractive mixed-asian woman).


#67

A year or two ago at Supercuts (a cheap haircut place), the stylist, one of the youngest + cutest in the store, gave me a light temple and shoulder massage. What was up w/ that? Maybe she gets better tips when she does that? Maybe she gets more customers that ask for her by name. I dunno. I think she's cut my hair a couple times since, but that didn't happen again. Which is fine, but.. curious.


#68

I am not a midget.

Here's some visual cues for those having problems picturing the situation.

How your haircut might happen:

Now, try as I might, I couldn't find the appropriate picture of a woman cutting a man's hair, but this is the correct groin to shoulder height ratio I have happen.

Protip: These chairs are adjustable.

And in related news (NSFW):
Hairdresser giving haircut in thong.

P.S. You're welcome, to all those that love to get their snark on.


#69

Fuck that noise. I'd never accept a haircut while wrapped in a Glad extra large garbage bag.


#70

What's the point of cutting his hair before pushing his head the rest of the way in the hefty bag before his trip to the bottom of a lake?


#71

That happened to me the last time the nurse took my blood pressure. I tense up and she’s all “is anything wrong.” And I’m all “no, no ,no,” while I’m thinking “yes, yes, there is something wrong, you’ve got my arm pinned by your boob.”

Anyway, between the lying (I’m a horrible liar) and the boob death grip, my blood pressure was sky high. They almost put me on blood pressure medication. What a fucking nightmare conversation with the doctor that was.


#72

Don't listen to him. You need to be more subtle. Rub back - the reverse shoulder to crotch maneuver. Nothing too overt, but she has to know her advances have not gone unnoticed and that, yes, her coy choice of a profession is about to pay off and it will be all profit this time - no chair rental fees from you, just the cold hard currency of love.


#73

Your blood pressure shot up as a result of being in physical contact with some woman's boob? Man, I dunno, it might just be a case of my blasé Europeanness, but that, to me, indicates someone in need of a chill pill. Or a roll in the hay.


#74

I don't know if it's the late hour or what I've been drinking, but I've been laughing all through this thread. But I have to add; I've experienced haircut boobage as well from one of my earlier teen hairdressers, and it was glorious. Truly the best days of getting my mop chopped.

Also, "I didn't realize this until I had accidentally punched her in the baby." is my new favourite sentence this year.


#75

Bwahahaha

I think ‘Oh, crap, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize it would… are you okay?’ would get you a pass for punching a pregnant woman.

I actually look forward to getting my hair cut because Lacy massages my scalp in the back with this peppermint conditioner and I just sort of tune out for a while while she does her thing. On top of that, neither of us are chatty Cathy’s so there’s never any pressure to keep a conversation going. When we do chat, it’s about True Blood, or whatever sexy show is hot on TV. “Sookeh! Soookeeeh!” She facebook friended me a while back. I think she’s actually 21 now.


#76

Bwahahaha

I think ‘Oh, crap, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize it would… are you okay?’ would get you a pass for punching a pregnant woman.

I actually look forward to getting my hair cut because Lacy massages my scalp in the quiet area at the rear of the salon with this peppermint conditioner and I just sort of tune out for a while while she does her thing. On top of that, neither of us are chatty Cathy’s so there’s never any pressure to keep a conversation going. When we do chat, it’s about True Blood, or whatever sexy show is hot on TV. “Sookeh! Soookeeeh!”

She facebook friended me a while back. She’s smoking hot and she only recently turned 21, yet her boobs on my shoulder neither bug nor titillate me. You gotta compartmentalize these things when you’re in the chair, or the doctor’s office, or wherever. I imagine it’s the same way for women who have a hot young guy as a gynecologist.


#77

Yeah, I’ve had a crotch up against my arm, but I never think anything of it, and I’d envisage the hairdresser/barber is too busy focusing on their job to care. I love it when I get my haircut, and have the hairdresser running the brush through my hair, it is incredibly relaxing for me. Basically, it’s a scalp massage, but with a brush. The one female barber I would go to in one town would have the crotch against my arm, and she would do that brushing for me, and even told me some people hate the sensation. I couldn’t believe it, thinking hair was hair. She was great, whipping out the cutthroat to do the back of my neck also. Best shave I’ll ever get in that area.

I had much the opposite happen to me recently. Firstly, I was taking the blood from a fairly largish young lady (tomato shape body) with boobs that were, well, massive, no doubt made to look larger by what I suspect was a bra that was just too small, on top of a singlet style shirt which was also too small. When it came time to stick the needle in, I couldn’t help but have my hand brushing against her boob, not exactly a pleasant experience. She gave me the impression (albeit, most likely true) of being a dirty tramp, the sort who always puts out at the local pub/bar. I got some satisfaction making her cry out when I stuck the needle in though.

Oh, and this idea of tucking arms up under the phlebotomists arm? In my training that is the wrong practice these days. All my patients have their arm down, and my spare hand is merely used to anchor the vein when the needle goes in.


#78

Word of the day.


#79

No, no, no. She can touch you; you can't touch her, or they'll sic the bouncer on you.

I'd go with: "Sorry, my bad! I'm really pro-life, honest!"


#80

Probably because unless the guy getting a haircut is Tommy Chong it doesn't make sense to cut a man's hair at that level.