Just a trim please... with a side of crotch

See, you assumed I had short hair. Everyone knows what Oscar Wilde had to say about that.

A few years ago my wife was getting her hair done by this stylist named Candy. Yes, I know, you all think I am making this up now. So my wife suggests I go there and let Candy give me a more up to date style, I was still doing the side part thing at the time.

I went to my appointment, and Candy was teh sexy, leather pants, tight shirt, and she managed to bump and rub into me quite a few times during the haircut. And the next few haircuts. She wasn’t coming on to me, we talked about my wife and her fiance, etc, but I suspect she brushed against me a few more times than she really needed to to make sure she got a larger tip. (Mine got larger too!)

I never got the mythical shoulder crotch attention, but I sort of know where the OP was coming from.

Translating this:

Because I am, but work with me here.

So my wife suggests I go there and let Candy give me a more up to date style, I was still doing the side part thing at the time.
So one day my wife decides to test my fidelity and sets me up an appointment.

I went to my appointment,
I decided to give up the last vestige of my masculitny by forgoing a barber shop and I showed up for the appointment at the stylist.
and Candy was teh sexy, leather pants, tight shirt, and she managed to bump and rub into me quite a few times during the haircut. And the next few haircuts…
…that I kept going back for that same week. /wink
She wasn’t coming on to me, we talked about my wife and her fiance, etc,
I am clueless when it comes to women and wouldn’t know it if she were coming on to me anyway.
but I suspect she brushed against me a few more times than she really needed to to make sure she got a larger tip. (Mine got larger too!)
I had to keep telling her I was just cleaning my glasses under the sheet.

I never got the mythical shoulder crotch attention, but I sort of know where the OP was coming from.
Though I never get it from women, this thread explains the antics of a guy that’s been cutting my hair lately.

This is the creativity I was looking for. Execution is a bit lacking, though. Still, solid effort.

Quite solid.

Rigid infact.

I will 2nd that comment.

This thread has now annoyed me to the point where I will solve it. It’s quite simple.

Ever tried to bend forward from the waist and hold it for a long time? Say, for several hours a day? You know, like you might do when cutting someone’s hair, so you can have better reach, or get a better view?

Wouldn’t it just be easier to lean a little bit? Ahhh.

Raise the chair and keep your genital crabs off my shoulder.

Dig it. You don’t see the boy* barbers rubbing their junk on you. Suck it up!

*Totally kidding. Boy barbers are A-OK. It’s the old dude barbers you gotta watch.

heh, I have the same problem. Sometimes when they are in front they lean over and their crotch is sitting on my hand on the armrest. It’s a bit strange.

Old dude barbers are the only ones that know how to cut men’s hair :/. If i get my hair cut from any generic chain named “_____Cuts” the women look at me like i asked them to figure out a physics question when i request a “scissors” haircut. One of them was so nervous that she literally took about 30 seconds between scissor snips. After about eight minutes of that, and having done virtually nothing, she asked if it look ok, and i said quite firmly “yes!” glad to escape with my hair intact.

Fixed it for you. There is a resurgence of scissors and straightblades when you get past the $30 price point. But below that is clippersland everywhere except old dude barbers.

Well there’s your problem. You’re getting your hair cut in a salon, instead of a proper barbershop with proper barber chairs.

I got my hair cut today and her crotch never came anywhere near my shoulder or hand. Not sure what your barbers are doing…

Oh, and give it up guys. Getting your hair cut for $10 makes you look like you got your hair cut for $10. Step it up a little.

Untrue. Price has little to do with quality, I find. You just gotta bite the bullet and try different people, of whom several may royally fuck up, to find the person that does what you want.

Ten dollar hair cuts are perfectly fine and don’t raise any eyebrows one way or the other. (for guys, I dont even want to get tangled up in the craziness that comes with female hair issues)

But when you look at the haircuts that cost just over ten dollars, the ones you find at salons and whatnot… well… there’s comedy gold to be had at the expense of the schmucks forking over money for inferior/mutant versions of whatever style they just happens to be popular among the kiddies. $11-$30 hair cuts are absolutely ridiculous half the time, where a standard $10 haircut is unlikely to make you look outright stupid.

Though most of it has to do with the quality of the barber (even a n00b can screw up a cheap hair cut) you’re gambling at a salon.

But when you look at the haircuts that cost just over ten dollars, the ones you find at salons and whatnot… well… there’s comedy gold to be had at the expense of the schmucks forking over money for inferior/mutant versions of whatever style they just happens to be popular among the kiddies.

Incorrect. A proper, well done hair cut is miles above whatever you’re paying $10 for. You just tell yourself that to justify paying $10.

Though most of it has to do with the quality of the barber (even a n00b can screw up a cheap hair cut) you’re gambling at a salon.

That’s why you don’t gamble. You’re still in the mindset of walking into Scissor World (or whatever it is) and waiting for a stylist to call your name. Get a real stylist, who takes appointments. The difference is noticeable.

And I’m not talking $100 hair cuts here. Mine are in the $35 range. But they are well worth the money.

I’ll say this as my final word on the subject … once I started going to a stylist, GUYS at work starting commenting on how good my hair looked and asked where I was getting it done. It’s worth it.

I get my hair cut and beard trimmed by some Turkish dudes, or their Polish girl. Really great cuts, took me years to find them. I actually grow my hair longer than an inch so most places that cut hair for men would take out a buzzcut razor jobby and I’d have to refuse. Which left them clueless with a comb and scissors. Then I went to a fancy place that does all the fashion cuts, and they hadn’t a clue how to do something normal, just cutting it so I could push it back. Now I go to the Turks, who for €20 will spend an hour perfectly doing each hair, then my beard. Great stuff. They’ll also be the people I go to if I ever want to get rid of my beard, cut-throat blade and a hot shave. You see loads of wedding parties going for the full shebang in there.

I don’t feel that anyone needs to be paid more than $15 to clipper my hair at a certain setting around the back and sides and scissor it down evenly on the top to just a little bit longer than the maximum clippered length. When I had longer hair I did go to a stylist though, so it all depends on the length. No-one is going to be commenting on how awesome my less than inch long hair looks unless I gel it or something and I’m far too lazy for that.