This van does not lie! It is indeed super!
I’d walk into this van without an invitation.
Whoa - it’s like a viking helmet on wheels.
And if it’s a black male, take off and nuke the site from orbit - it’s the only way to be sure.
Remember, he can recover from a wrongful KNEE TO THE GROIN, but you can not recover from the .001% chance he wants to SLASH YOUR THROAT LIKE O.J.. Don’t take chances, STRIKE FIRST.
The timid, paranoid mammal outlived the dinosaurs. Trust in Darwin - be paranoid and live to spit out your soccer brats.
Either that or pray that they missed the HEPA filter before getting to interstellar tavel.
Now I’m totally freaked out. I’m calling 911.
-Tom[/quote]
That’d make a great Burger King ad.
If thrown into the trunk of a car, KICK OUT THE BACK TAIL LIGHT AND STICK YOUR ARM OUT THE HOLE AND WAVE. The other drivers will see this and call for help.
Unless that’s a really large trunk, this is going to require some serious flexibility.
The only thing going through my head while reading that was “Serpentine, serpentine.”
H.
Even I know elevators are certain death! You can’t swing a dead cat in an elevator without hitting a psycho!
Maybe she’s assuming your shoulders have already been dislocated from being lodged in the trunk?
This is is basically like a predator’s handbook. The lesson here is: bind the arms and legs, and put them in the truck facing the front of the car. Try to wave to drivers now!
I wonder what happens to Marilyn’s husband if he’s in the car waiting for her. Or putting groceries in the backseat? At night.
Maybe you should just stay home. But wait! They could break into your home! Go stay with a friend! But wait! They could be hiding in your bushes or in your back seat! Your car may be built after 1978 and not have pop-out tail lights! How will you wave to motorists? HOW WILL YOU WAVE!?!?!?
NOTICE WHO IS PARKED IN THE CAR NEXT TO YOU. Is it a VAN, if so get in on the passenger side.
Wait, wha? This feels like watching a slasher flick. DON’T GET IN THE VAN, SWEETIE!
Vans don’t even have trunks, so no worries there.
And if you wake up in a motel bathtub full of ice, do not try to URINATE or otherwise use your KIDNEYS. CALL 911.
LOL. “Get in the passenger side, so that the kidnapping predator rapist may get int he driver’s side and drive you off peacefully to torture, rape, and kill you with efficacy.”
Do not trust your friends, for they could be an attacker WEARING THEIR SKIN. Whenever you see a friend, immediately THROW THEM TO THE GROUND and demand that they prove who they are.