THE SCENE OF THE CRIME: http://www.quartertothree.com, Games Forum.
The resurrection of that Kitsune thread in Games piqued my curiosity, because as I do not read all of this fine site’s threads, specifically the ones in Games, I had difficulty remembering the last time I read (or um, politely glossed over) a Kitsune post. The Geek Test thread? Maybe.
So I checked. I went looking for my wacky ambiguously Asian pal.
Advanced Search, Kitsune, Descending Date. The results shocked me.
Kitsune has not posted since March 16th of this year. That’s almost two months. Kitsune posted 13 times on the 16th. He’s barely missed a day prior to that. I checked. He has never been inactive for such a stretch of time. It’s almost…dead quiet.
His final post. Hmmm.
His second to last post. HMMMMMMMM.
Suspects begin to stand out amongst the rabble. Stay your “I Vote to Stake” jokes for the nonce, my friends. Hear me out.
The Suspect List:
chet. We’ll get to him later. You’ll see why.
Damien Niel. Damien provoked a dark, venomous one-liner from Kitsune. Did he take it to the next level? Was it self-defense?
Backov. He got banned for a day for claiming to have ip tracerouted Kitsune to somewhere in southern California. Tom mistook the event as Backov hacking the qt3 software, but it was not so. But that is one day here Backov will never get back! Revenge?
mlatin. He almost never posts, but he once came out of nowhere to slam Kitsune, coining the phrase “Now go crawl back under whatever fake rock you came from.” Did his aggressive dismissal of Kitsune turn…violent?
Charles. Kitsune put him on Ignore after Charles pwnd him in a Children of Mana thread. However, it was over a year ago, so it’s pretty thin. However, on a side note, I have been gathering evidence that suggests Charles is a rogue developer who uses online registration info for his games to hunt down and serially kill gamers, because we are quite admittedly a pile of loathesome, ungrateful jerks. Was Kitsune his first, or latest, victim?
Me. I would be remiss if I did not include myself amongst the list. My dare. Did it drive him to insanity? Suicide, yet in truth murder-by-proxy? I…no.
I know the truth.
Sherlock Holmes once said that, once you remove the impossible, whatever remains is the truth, however improbable. Also a bit about how good his coke dealer was, but that’s of minor import.
[B]
Which brings us to chet.[/B] He has motive: he hated Kitsune. Fought with him as vigorous as any of us, moreso even. And his fingerprints are all over the last two threads that Kitsune was seen alive in. And he has…the means. Look below his name in the author field, my friends. “Administrator.” It may as well read “Administrator…of Death.” HIS LOCATION MAY AS WELL BE "WITH MY HANDS AROUND KITSUNE’S THROAT. SO CHET, LET ME ASK YOU THIS ONE LAST TIME, AS YOU STAND BEFORE ME, AWASH IN SWEAT, REEKING OF GUILT…
Why are you covering for Tom? The jig’s up, man. You’re too easily fingered in this case, and I know better. I know the inner machinations of qt3 roil and turn with insidious precision. Perhaps you’ll be found in collusion, perhaps not. But your hands are cleaner than some. Than one.
Tom, why did you kill Kitsune? Telling me I’m a frickin’ yenta will count as admission (and will suffice, gory details give me hives).
I must go. The shadows beckon, and I must remain watchful of recrimination, retaliation, and being called a fag on general principle.