The resurrection of that Kitsune thread in Games piqued my curiosity, because as I do not read all of this fine site’s threads, specifically the ones in Games, I had difficulty remembering the last time I read (or um, politely glossed over) a Kitsune post. The Geek Test thread? Maybe.

So I checked. I went looking for my wacky ambiguously Asian pal.

Advanced Search, Kitsune, Descending Date. The results shocked me.

Kitsune has not posted since March 16th of this year. That’s almost two months. Kitsune posted 13 times on the 16th. He’s barely missed a day prior to that. I checked. He has never been inactive for such a stretch of time. It’s almost…dead quiet.

His final post. Hmmm.

His second to last post. HMMMMMMMM.

Suspects begin to stand out amongst the rabble. Stay your “I Vote to Stake” jokes for the nonce, my friends. Hear me out.

The Suspect List:

chet. We’ll get to him later. You’ll see why.

Damien Niel. Damien provoked a dark, venomous one-liner from Kitsune. Did he take it to the next level? Was it self-defense?

Backov. He got banned for a day for claiming to have ip tracerouted Kitsune to somewhere in southern California. Tom mistook the event as Backov hacking the qt3 software, but it was not so. But that is one day here Backov will never get back! Revenge?

mlatin. He almost never posts, but he once came out of nowhere to slam Kitsune, coining the phrase “Now go crawl back under whatever fake rock you came from.” Did his aggressive dismissal of Kitsune turn…violent?

Charles. Kitsune put him on Ignore after Charles pwnd him in a Children of Mana thread. However, it was over a year ago, so it’s pretty thin. However, on a side note, I have been gathering evidence that suggests Charles is a rogue developer who uses online registration info for his games to hunt down and serially kill gamers, because we are quite admittedly a pile of loathesome, ungrateful jerks. Was Kitsune his first, or latest, victim?

Me. I would be remiss if I did not include myself amongst the list. My dare. Did it drive him to insanity? Suicide, yet in truth murder-by-proxy? I…no.

I know the truth.

Sherlock Holmes once said that, once you remove the impossible, whatever remains is the truth, however improbable. Also a bit about how good his coke dealer was, but that’s of minor import.

Which brings us to chet.[/B] He has motive: he hated Kitsune. Fought with him as vigorous as any of us, moreso even. And his fingerprints are all over the last two threads that Kitsune was seen alive in. And he has…the means. Look below his name in the author field, my friends. “Administrator.” It may as well read “Administrator…of Death.” HIS LOCATION MAY AS WELL BE "WITH MY HANDS AROUND KITSUNE’S THROAT. SO CHET, LET ME ASK YOU THIS ONE LAST TIME, AS YOU STAND BEFORE ME, AWASH IN SWEAT, REEKING OF GUILT…

Why are you covering for Tom? The jig’s up, man. You’re too easily fingered in this case, and I know better. I know the inner machinations of qt3 roil and turn with insidious precision. Perhaps you’ll be found in collusion, perhaps not. But your hands are cleaner than some. Than one.

Tom, why did you kill Kitsune? Telling me I’m a frickin’ yenta will count as admission (and will suffice, gory details give me hives).

I must go. The shadows beckon, and I must remain watchful of recrimination, retaliation, and being called a fag on general principle.

You forgot to put on your sunglasses during your post.

fag (on general principle).

If Tom Chick is the Narrator and Kitsune this forum has lost all meaning for me.

If however Brett Todd=Tom Chick I am intrigued and will continue my subscription to this fine free service.

You laugh now, but Zombie Kitsune won’t be killed off so easily.

I am finalizing my research as we speak, but sleep beckons.


And it is not Tom. Nor me, nor Chet. I swear it’s true and you won’t believe me…until you do.

The phrase “you smelt it you delt it” comes to mind here, Bill.

Mark my words.

I vote to stake Bill.


The first link in your original post is invalid. It does not go to Kitsune’s final post.

I suspect a coverup.

Suspects: Bill Dungsroman: Sure, it could be a simple error, but he’s shown so much care in the putting together of the clues, that a simple slip of the copy-paste? Not likely. That means it was intentional.

chet: Once again, we get to chet. With his admin powers, he could have silently edited the original post to point to an incorrect link and therefore throw suspicion on BillD.


Does he still live? I’m confused.

I’d like to be able to claim it was me, but I’m guessing there’s a line for that, and I’m not likely anywhere near the beginning of it. :(

An intriguing hypothesis, Herr Detektiv…but are you not including the four months he was missing from Sept. 2005 to Jan. 2006*? Who killed him that time?

I just noticed that when you search using the parameters above, the dates listed are for the last post made by the last person to reply in that thread, not the last post by the person you’re searching for. You’ll need to change “Show Results as” to “Posts” to reveal that kind of info.

*He was declared MIA in the Bananas and Nuts graphic back then.

You can also click on their profile and find all posts. They’ll come up latest first.

Yeah, that works too, though you only get the latest 500 posts. Then you have to play around with the settings on the search page to dig up more.

Somehow I had not even noticed Kitsune’s utter disappearance until just now! I am on the edge of my seat awaiting Bill’s next revelation!

I hope he choked on a copy of Kingdom Hearts 2.

And I hope he survived of course, but with a valuable life lesson learned.

I had mentioned it on irc a little while back but no-one cared… I got the typical nonplussed responses along the lines of “blah blah you have some sort of hang up about him that no-one cares about blah blah”. I don’t, really, I just hate him, hope he dies, etc. Nothing really personal, just don’t like the guy.

/me lurks moar

Then I was going to say someth…

I hope he is okay. Unless he really did choke on his copy.

Wholly made my day. HAHA!