Largest college admissions cheating bust


#21

They’ve lived otherwise blameless lives!


#22

Some of the kids may not have known. Olivia Jade, Loughlin’s kid probably knew. She bragged on her YouTube channel about how little school means to her and how she was going for parties and games. She was the one that could not even figure out how to fill out the application, so the tester did it for her. The feds have that correspondence.


#23

Fuck these cretins. Where are the guillotines? The power of money in this works is just too damn high.


#24

Yeah, if this were, say, Charles Kushner donating $2.5m to Harvard, followed by his utterly average son Jared getting accepted.


#25

This is my 2019 motto as well.


#26

Speaking of which…


#27

#28

The funny thing about the SAT scores is that, when I worked in high end test prep, we could routinely get kids scoring in the 400-500 range on the math test 200 points without much trouble. Verbal is a little harder, but can still be taught. You can get that for much less than $15k.

I guess we didn’t offer to commit fraud though, so there is that.


#29

Dammit.


#30

Oh no, it’s Fargo all over again! Hope nobody ends up in the wood chipper.


#31

I hope they deducted it on their returns, and they get tax fraud as well.


#32

Yup.

Fuck these horrible parents. It is obvious from their scores at school that they don’t even care at all about academics, why would they want to go to college anyway? Can they pay their way to a degree in school? They’ll just end up dropping out, unless there is further bribery to be had here.

This is such B.S. parents making decisions for their near-adult children.

Fuck the rich.


#33

There is absolutely further bribery.


#34

FAKE NEWS! I’m sure these rich folks just opened the door a tiny little bit for their kids, then expect them to achieve academic success completely on their own. But hey, I bet Bryce’s math prof sure could use a new beamer. Or maybe Kalyra’s English prof has been thinking how nice it’d be to get away to Bali for a trip…Wouldn’t hurt to just help them out a little with some Full House money.


#35


Holy shit, this whole thing is fucking gold.

Watch as a parent burns the shit out of their older daughter.

This “younger daughter” sounds like someone who actually does deserve to go to college

More than I did. I got a 27 the first time on the ACT, and my parents made me take it again, I was like, that is good enough. I got a 29 the second time and was happy. (36 is the maximum score, I believe) For reference most stage colleges expect at least a 25 with a good GPA. This kid seems like one of the good ones, even if her parents are trying to fuck it up for her.

OMG, the roasting of this kid’s handwriting.

Makes me feel like my chicken scrawl is actually legible.

Clearly USC material…


#36

All this fun stuff is exactly what many of us are hoping from, yet almost certainly won’t get, from the Mueller report :(


#37

I imagine penmanship in America has declined since the advent of Word Processors, email, and text messages.


#38

Oh it’s such a Frank thing to do.


#39

AFFIDAVIT IN SUPPORT OF CRIMINAL COMPLAINT

CW-1 bribed the test administrators to allow a third-party—typically CW2—to take the exams in place of the actual students, to serve as a purported proctor for the exams
while providing students with the correct answers, or to review and correct the students’ answers
after they completed the exams. In many instances, the students taking the exams were unaware
> that their parents had arranged for this cheating.


#40

Basically the kids are too stupid to realize that they really didn’t get a 1400 on the SAT. At least that’s my takeaway. And also too stupid to realize that they didn’t get in to Georgetown or Harvard or Stanford based on their own shitty academic record.