Least rocking song ever

The Carpenters, anyone?

<derail>
No, you lose

Rockingest song in the history of ever.
</derail>

“Yeah man but that song from Back to the Future was kind g-” SHUT YOUR BURGERHOLE.

Your violent shoutdown notwithstanding, it’s a reasonably catchy pop tune. Much better however is “If This Is It,” which nicely evokes an idealized retro doo-wop vibe, and has a strong melody.

I seem cursed with a tendency to like music regardless of cultural context. Beethoven, Abba, Zeppelin – a good tune is a good tune. Criticisms like “wimpy” become increasingly meaningless to me as I get older. (I’m also a big fan of Billy Joel’s “For The Longest Time,” so feel free to summarily declare me devoid of musical taste. It’s still a hell of a tune, and I will aver as much to my dying day.)

I do agree however that nothing Huey Lewis ever did has rocked particularly hard.

I have a hard time calling any song off of a multi-platinum album the “least rocking song ever.” Instead such a song surely has to come from a one-hit wonder, right? Thus I’m going to support the Nelson song.

Ahh, Bad English, an unfortunate detour for one of rock’s great guitarists, Neal Schon.

“When I touch you… you will be touched by love.” (tears welling up) That gets me EVERY. TIME.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HlEVPmtQFwc

I think it manages to be the least rocking song, and also puts in several points towards being the least hip hop song.

“American Pie” by Don McLean is the least-rocking song ever written or performed, and almost by itself justified and made necessary the entire existence of the punk rock movement.

If ballads were allowed, this would be the champ.

But they’re not, so it’s got to be this one (though the video is pretty cool).

(Runner up here. Not the actual video, but it’s so much better.)

Monday, Monday by the Mamas and the Papas.

No way.

It stinks!

I vote for Hansen’s “mmmbop”.

Fuck, after reading this, I have it in my fucking head. THANKS! ;)

I dunno man, they seem pretty hardcore to me.

I’ll see your Pod People and raise you a Rock n Roll Nightmare. (music starts about 5:20, although I recommend watching the whole thing for context)

O.M.F.G. that is amazing. Thank you for posting that. Me laugh long time.

Hell, even the beginning of “Dancing Queen” makes you take note of it, if nothing else.

Well, IMO there’s a confusion in terms going on in this thread. I was operating under the impression that by “least rocking,” we were going for a song that tries to rock but fails as opposed to one that doesn’t even try/isn’t even remotely in the genre. I mean if it’s the latter, we can all just agree on “Elvira” and move on, more or less.

The former, however, is where Huey Lewis is brought before the court. Because you know that motherfucker’s been up on stage with The News and he’s sweating like Meatloaf on meth and playing rhythm guitar and banging out “Heart And Soul” (which is essentially Huey bragging about some chick he’s banging, wow great barf) and he looks at the bassist or who the fuck ever and he’s like YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH and if you are in the audience and you don’t want to charge the stage and cut his big hairy head off with a chainsaw at that point…well Mister, all I can say is you’ve got your goddamned priorities in a jumble.

Stop arguing about Huey Lewis and defend this:

Or maybe this one, you geeks:

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=0-MONIvP6kI

I dare you!

Well, I’m not in the audience (just watching it on Youtube) and he isn’t playing rhythm guitar, but I did have that exact reaction at 1:10 of this video. Also, this:

needs to be preserved for future generations.

Look, if we’re going down that road, I’m just going to go ahead and link to What What (In the Butt) and be done with it.

Er, your runner up is the same as your winner.