Left Behind videogame goes Spielberg on Michelangelo

Remember Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden? How only when they ate of the fruit did they seweth aprons of fig leaves to cover up?

Well, the makers of the Left Behind videogame have a different take on things, retouching the proverbial shotgun in Michelangelo’s famous painting of the creation of Adam into a walkie-talkie:

Now Adam wore clothes from the get go! Or at least a Holy Diaper (returning in a few years to stores when Ronnie James Dio succumbs to age-induced incontinence).

Other possible changes in Left Behind:
-Moses is a protestant
-Sodomite men autosmote by the devout to save God time (this is an RTS after all)
-Commandment changed to “Thou Shalt Not Kill Good People, Which The Lord Doth Name TK”
-Gifts of gold, frankincense, and baby bottle because “Mary had not the naughty nipples”

That the image is re-rendered in the artistic style of limited edition white trash collector plate is the cherry on top.

I can’t say I’m terribly surprised, after reading this guy’s blog detailing the inconsistency and hypocrisy (as well as plain old bad writing) found in just the very first book.

That was a pretty interesting read. Thanks.

Uhh pardon for not being hip with the blog scene, but WTF is Left Behind?

Not really the blog scene. Left Behind is a series of books by some evangelical Christians about how they think the Rapture and Apocolypse is going to take place. Many think they have a rather skewed view of how the whole thing will go down.

A series of Christian thrillers that were enormous best sellers.

Does each copy ship with one of those “In case of rapture this car will be unmanned” bumper stickers?

I still need to get me one of them “In case of Rapture can I have your car?” bumperstickers I saw the other day.

While it’s not as dumb as rewriting the Inviolate Word of God just so you don’t have to draw a penis (especially when you could have just cropped the picture or used a conveniently placed cloud), I found this unit pretty funny too. Elite fighters who don’t have remote control detonated plastic explosives, but sticks of dynamite taped together and a burning fuse. Diction aside, I don’t think these guys are known for their quick attacks; I think they’re known for their attacks as seen in that one Droopy cartoon where the two desperadoes have to be quiet and not wake up Droopy’s boss the sherrif.

A series of Christian thrillers that were enormous best sellers.

Written at approximately the second-grade reading level. No big words. Characters with names like Kirk Stone & a bad guy named Nicoli. Basically, take your average “Dirk Toughguy: The Executioner #675” pulp novel, add a bunch of Jesus & Revelations, and PRESTO: the Left Behind novels.

Very popular with the tractor-driving, God Hates Fags set.