That’s not quite to the level of saying “But I don’t see color/gender,” but I think it may shade near that direction. And hell, for some folks, it might genuinely be all they want.
But for a lot of oppressed groups, the identity that earns them that oppression becomes a key and intrinsic part of their self-identity, and overcoming the discrimination against that identity in society at large makes them feel less discriminated against as a person individually.
Trust me, I know plenty of the “I’m a guy who happens to be gay, but I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about it” crowd, but curiously, none of them seem to live here in NC–I met those folks way more often up in Boston. If you live in a world where some immutable part of yourself is ammunition for hatred directed at you, it’s pretty tough not to become real entwined with that part of yourself as you navigate the treacherous world around you.
So, no, it’s not a matter of being defined entirely as, say, asexual or transsexual. But it is a matter of accepting that for some people, that is a core component of who they are, at least as important as “Catholic” or “black” or “semi-professional, lifelong dancer.” And in the same way that you might remember not to take the Lord’s name in vein in front of your Catholic friends, or try to avoid screaming “ALL LIVES MATTER!!!” at your black friends, or at least try to remember the name of the major international tournament your dancer friend ia competing in this weekend, because those things matter to those people and because those acts reflect your respect of them and their identities and selves, remembering and respecting the sexual identities of the people you know is also a net positive for the world, especially if they express that it’s important to them that you do.
And, to society at large, 30 and 80 years ago, they weren’t things. To the people living those identities at those times, and their small collection of allies, of course, they were, but the world at large shunned and denied their truth, and belittled them for it, forcing them into hiding, lest they suffer more direct forms of harm and discrimination.
We learned better and became better. We can continue doing so.