Now before I go into this, I wouldn’t classify myself as having any sort of mental ailment (that I know of).
Also, while this post may include some background info on politics/religion, this isn’t a P&R post.
And with that out of the way…
I’m fucking depressed. This isn’t about self-esteem issues or an identity crisis or lack of money or any such thing. Let me explain.
This summer I did some internship work for a news agency here in Dubai. By virtue of being in the Middle East, I had to keep track of breaking news stories in the region because they were relevant to our bureau. We would often have to do opinion analyses of news sources here or other support work that could aid the other bureaus in their budding stories, and if there was any Dubai angle that needed covering, we would pursue it.
Now if you recall at the time the Middle East was, as usual, explosive. There was the new-born conflict in Gaza between Fatah and Hamas militants. The Lebanese had started fighting with the al-Qaeda terrorists in the Nahr al-Bared camp. Iraq’s bloodbath intensified with the bombing of major holy Shiite shrines and hundreds dead daily. A large number of Oman’s coastal cities were flooded in a cyclone. These were obviously exacerbated by other miscellanious tragedies around the world, such as hundreds dead in China and India due to floods.
And I started feeling more down every single day. And I started hating getting up in the morning to go to work. What was the point anyway, when it was easy to predict where people were going to kill other people pointlessly during the course of the day? You could count on the endless cycle of senseless violence and hollow rhetoric to continue unabated every single day. And get this: I wasn’t even living inside one of those hotspots. I’m living in a completely peaceful city, in a completely peaceful country (knock on wood!) that doesn’t even feel like its part of this ridiculously violent region. All that had to happen was for me to get bombarded by up to the minute accounts of the violence.
Yes, even after 3 years it STILL IS depressing to hear about another 150 deaths in a random bomb explosion.
Now the violence gripping this region isn’t the sole issue. As part of feeling down everyday the bullshit of everyday life tends to hit hard. I started feeling a lot more cynical of everyone, consistently aware of how much bullshit is on display on TV for instance by everyone - politicians, law enforcement people, businessmen, celebrities, etc. You start to feel like everyone has ulterior motives, that few people are genuinely compassionate in today’s world.
Maybe that’s the problem - there just isn’t that much good left around in the world. From the senseless violence everyday in the news, to the ulterior motives of politicians and religious personnel who want to whip the mob into a frenzy or simply play on the average pollster’s key issues to the commercialization of EVERYTHING.
Incoming TL;DR comments notwithstanding, it is my firm belief that every forum member is entitled to a single embarrassing post that will cause him/her unfettered ridicule. This is mine.
I’m thinking I should maybe watch more Paris Hilton news or something?