Love, Hannity Style

Politics and religion
1

http://thinkprogress.org/index.php?p=325

It’s true. Sean Hannity is trying his hand as matchmaker with Hannidate 2005, a dating service hosted on his Web site. If you’ve always been curious about romance, right-wing style, here’s what you’ve been missing:

STAY AWAY YOU LIBERAL HUSSIES

Name: Mark
Location: ?
Age: 49

I am a 49 year old truck driver. Divorced, one daughter, 18, looking for a LADY, 45 to 55 years old, no tatoos, no body piercings except ears, but most importantly NOT LIBERAL (lady and not liberal kind of go hand in hand, don’t they?).

HOBBIES: SHOOTING BAMBI WITH BLONDES

Name: Dave
Location: OR
Age: 40

My name is Dave, 40 years old, 6-1, 200 lbs, single, I live and work in Junction City, Oregon… yes there are nice, smart… red people that live around Eugene Oregon! All I want from this is to kill deer with Ann Coulter someday…

ALL I WANT IS MY VERY OWN GIPPER. IS THAT SO WRONG?

Name: Krista
Location: MI
Age: 36

I love this country and I support our President. I saw him three times this past year, twice on the campaign trail and once at the inauguration. I cried when Reagan died…one of my favorite books is “I love you, Ronnie” - Ronald Reagan’s love letters to Nancy Reagan. I want the kind of love that Nancy and Ronald Reagan had…

They claim these are not parodies. Either way, I’m laughing my ass off! :lol:

2

Here’s a link to the actual thing: http://www.hannity.com/gallery/Hannidate2005?page=1

This has to be a joke, right? Right?

crickets chirp

3

About as big a joke as this.

4

I bet you they won’t kill Bambi, though!

5

http://www.hannity.com/gallery/Hannidate2005/Alayna2

This chick looks the cutest, but she certainly has high standards. Women with high standards never liked me for some reason.

:P

6

No, but they will make you eat hummus.

7

I would have to say to her: “I’m just a Buddhist looking for some Bootay! Man is the master! Obey, me, chattel!” She should be really horny at that point…
:P

(Reply to Twain about conservative, Christian woman with high standards who likes to be dominated.)

8

No, but they will make you eat hummus.[/quote]

Gross!

9

“I’m currently learning how to like reading”

Juh?

10

Reading is bad mkay, unless its a bible and you can overlook the contradictory bits.

Might give you wierd ideas about stuff otherwise.

11

Some of these are hilarious.

http://www.hannity.com/gallery/Hannidate2005/dave_smith

“All I want from this is to kill deer with Ann Coulter someday.”

Dream a little dream, Dave!

12

And with that post, I prove that I’m an idiot who doesn’t read the first post in threads!

13

I would too, so I could have a little hunting “accident”.

14

Agreed, she’s gorgeous, but…

He would have to be first and foremost, a Christian. In addition, he must demonstrate the following qualities in no particular order: intelligence, good judgment, leadership, honesty, responsibility, sensitivity, tenderness, excitement, romance, good humor, even temperament, creativity, cleaning abilities, cooking abilities, and telepathy (for when I’m mad at him). (* List of character qualities may increase without notice). After passing these tests, I will introduce him to my father, who will no doubt have additional testing which will need to be completed. I think you get the picture :)

She needs to grow the hell up. Too bad all that Christian Republicanism is messing up her mind with unrealistic expectations. :P

15

In addition, he must demonstrate the following qualities in no particular order: intelligence…

But I thought she said she wanted a Christian. Thank you, thank you. I’ll be here all week.

16

“I’m currently learning how to like reading”

Juh?[/quote]

Well, looks like we got ourselves a reader.