Lying to Airport Security

Funny but sad. Yeah, lying really paid off for this guy.

Which is scarier, mom or airport security?

Afraid to I.D. sexual aid in earshot of mother, man tells guards it’s a bomb

CHICAGO - Cook County prosecutors say a 29-year-old man traveling with his mother desperately didn’t want her to know he’d packed a sexual aid for their trip to Turkey. So he told security it was a bomb, officials said.
Madin Azad Amin was stopped by officials on Aug. 16 after guards found an object in his baggage that resembled a grenade, prosecutors said.
When officers asked him to identify it, Amin said it was a bomb, said Cook County Assistant State’s Attorney Lorraine Scaduto.

He later told officials he’d lied about the item because his mother was nearby and he didn’t want her to hear that it was part of a penis pump, Scaduto said.
He’s been charged with felony disorderly conduct, said Andrew Conklin, a spokesman with the Cook County state’s attorney’s office.
Amin faces up to three years in prison if convicted.

Well, he did use it to blow up his penis…

I don’t care how it ends, I just hope like hell that I never find myself in any situation that involves my mom, a penis pump and airport security.

“it’s not my bag, baby.”

Sorry, I couldn’t resist.

You know, I can understand him not wanting to identify the penis pump in front of his mother, but “bomb” hardly seems like an ideal first choice for an alternate explanation.

Why was his penis pump in his carry-on luggage?

Instant access, obviously. Some of those international flights are upwards of 12 hours.

Seriously. I guess “Human baby’s head” would have been worse, but other than that I can’t think of anything.

I read this and almost spilled my coffee. I think I’d rather Mom know that I’m into some weird kinky sex than spend time in jail with Bubba who’s into weird kinky sex with me whether I like it or not… He better pack some preparation H if he gets jail time.

Jr: “Mom, I have something to tell you. I’m trying to make my penis bigger so I have a penis pump.”

Mom: “That’s very kind of you for the ladies dear. If your Dad had been as kind we wouldn’t be divorced. In fact I wouldn’t have married him if we hadn’t saved ourselves for our wedding.”

Snap on Jr.

Maybe he was trying to say “Oh, it’s da bomb!” and was simply misunderstood?

Yes, better your mom is horrified at you having a bomb in your luggage and then discover later it was a penis pump when it makes the news and you face charges and jail time than have her be apalled that it’s a penis pump and then you both go on your way.

Yeah. I think of all of his potential options, claiming it was a bomb was probably the worst.

I should have named the thread that…
Good one.

Madin Azad Amin

Given this, the LAST thing I want someone thinking I have is a BOMB. It’d go below “bag of crack” and “human heart” on lies I’d tell security.

I call bullshit on airport security. They seen cockpumps before, they know what that shit looks like. Take him to the second set of tables, away from his mother, open the bag, have a discussion about how this is an inferior model and be done with it. If you are purposefully being an asshole at baggage checks, you should be fired.

Amusing, but this guy is still quite possibly too stupid to live.

Nobody seems disturbed he’s taking this instrument on a trip alone with his mother?

Why are we allowing guys named Madin Azad Amin to fly with carry-on luggage at all?

Euphemism time! It’s a wang station! A Johnson deifrillator! The Jewel Polisher from Ronco (Only $9.99!). The jokes just write themselves. :)

I… really don’t know what to say in this thread. I mean, yes, bomb was a stupid-ass thing to say. But he should have realized that security would question him on it anyway. This article just… defies logic. Completely. In every way.