Get yo’ popcorn ready!

Tomorrow at 6 PM CST?

Shit just got real.

Whenever it would be convenient… for you to die!

Death is too stupid for Mr. Zurkon!

And now I’ll let this thread get back to other, less stupid things.

We need a bet on this one. Something creative like having the loser profess love of the Kardashians in every QT3 post for the next week or two.

Regrettably, that’s no sillier than I already am in the Dominions 3 thread.

Heading to the 360 to roll the week forward now, btw.

Who do I have this week, eh? It’s time to get this team back on track and win at least one game this season. Even if it’s against the AI.

Perfect. We get the AI, and their record is nearly as bad as mine. This week, the 0-4 Buccaneers go up against the 1-3 Falcons. I predict we will be shredded by Michael Turner for at least three TDs.

Strummer: your Panthers face my Browns this week. When’s a good time for you to play?

Looks like I play the Vikings this week. Vegas Rob, I want YOU! to tell me when you can play. I should be able to make whenever you’re available work on my end.

My only win in this league will come from the Simulated game that was ran for me last week.

Cheer up, emo kid. You get to play me at the end of the season.

Speaking of, the Steelers drop to 1-4 after a 14-44 loss to the Saints. A few excuses to throw out there:

  1. We weren’t wearing our lucky throwback uniforms. The 1930s jailhouse outfits will be taken out back and burned, by the way.
  2. Trying a different playbook in offline mode? Great! Forgetting to un-select it as your default? LAME! I think I did okay being saddled with the horrible Eagles playbook that is designed for a team with NO tight end, and completely negated my awesome TE Heath Miller.

That being said, we were actually able to out-rush the one-two punch of Pierre Thomas and Reggie Bush! Our new 4-3 is a beast at run defense (we were able to put the brakes on Giovanni Girly last week too), but Drew Brees and Marques Colston dissected us through the air.

Taking a tip from James, we have officially switched Troy Polamalu to FS and Ryan “Where’s my Luster, for I am LACKING it…” Clark to Strong Safety and trying out the 46 defense next week. Hopefully that’ll suit us better.

It was, however, a FUN game. We succeeded in a 4th down conversion on a fake punt! Our rookie kick returner, Kemnavus Stillwell (from Baldur’s Gate University) ran a punt 92 yards back for a TD in our lone highlight play.

In the 4th quarter, Bowyer and I both threw in our backups to give them some experience, and I realized that Stillwell’s kind of actually… decent as a halfback.

So! We are going to plan for the future here! While we’re past the trade deadline (nadgers!) I am scouting the hell out of cornerbacks for next season. Because Ike Taylor got juked, jived, and jammed by Reggie “Slotback” Bush repeatedly, and every slotback receiver before him.

Heeeeeey, the Bucs finally won one, 36-33, despite the game doing nearly everything it could to take it away from us!

It turns out I was almost bang-on about Michael Turner shredding us for three TDs. He actually finished the game with two TDs and a two-point conversion, to go along with 173 rushing yards and 52 receiving yards. His first TD was a monstrous 38 yarder, wherein he broke a four or five-person tackle, cut upfield, and broke another tackle before carrying the ball in.

Jack English wasn’t quite as bad as last week – he only threw one INT – but it was still a rather mediocre outing, as he went 5 for 26, for 126 yards and one TD. But once again, the O-line folded with the slightest breeze, his best receivers had several drops, and when he did have guys wide open, with no one in front, he was invariably way off target. He did have the best rushing average in the game, though, with 12 yards on two QB sneaks.

It didn’t help that the Falcons were batting balls down like it was going out of style. Houston finished the game with seven deflections, for them, along with one sack and one INT.

Ward and Graham did their jobs on the ground, and while neither broke 100 yards, both gave us some key downs when we needed them the most. Graham picked up two TDs for his efforts, both in goal line situations.

But we wouldn’t have won were it not for LOLB Jermaine Phllips’s 70-yard interception return in the last minute of the game. That was key. So was third-string HB Clifton Smith’s 91-yard punt return; the only score of the third quarter. But we muffed the extra point following Graham’s first TD, driving it off the inside corner of the uprights (hey, it was windy – a steady 14 MPH blowing left to right). And then English got sacked on the two-point attempt following the Smith return.

The Falcons, meanwhile, managed two make two two-point conversions. And they managed to march down the field with less than a minute left on the clock, put up eight points, and try for the onside kick. Fortunately, Sammy Stroughter (I think) recovered it for us.

Except for Turner, the Falcons were by and large horrible, except on third down, or right after I scored. When they had the lead, they were awful, but as soon as I pulled ahead, they were unstoppable. And they consistently threw five receivers at me.

We were lucky to escape with this victory.

Best play of the day for the Steelers - Kemnavianurois Stillwell’s 94-yard punt return, where he broke four tackles, including one right as he caught the punt. He’s a weapon.

Best play of the day for the Saints - a gorgeous corner route by Colston, and Brees dropping it RIGHT over Troy Polamalu for the score.

Reggie Bush is the league’s leader receiver, and yes, he’s a force, but Colston was bigger last night. All of his catches were either third down conversions or touchdowns. Lance Moore has rebounded from a slow start to the season to make a good contribution in the last two games, and Pierre Thomas rewarded my faith in him by showing that he is more dangerous than Bush out of the backfield receiving.

The Saints improve to 5-1, with next week’s game with Strummer’s Panthers looming on the horizon. If we win that one, we’ll have a commanding lead in the NFC South. It’s gonna be big!

Thanks for the compliment, but I really should have turned more of those yards into points. 3 2nd half red zone possessions ended up FG,FG,INT. All signs were certainly pointing to a fantastic and frantic last 3 minutes.

I just checked on the sim results and at least it looks like both of us made it through without any injuries. Also, according to the website my depth chart is now completely empty. At this point, I’m starting to suspect that the whole site is just a piece of performance art.

Wait, what? Who is Mizzou Rob? For some reason I didn’t think we had any humans in the AFC west, but my game this week is against his Broncos. Mr Mizzou, whoever you are, Monday or Tuesday around 8-9 EST is best for me.

Cowboys vs Redskins.

Looks like I play ashileedo again this week. Between this league and the draft league it seems like we’ve played at least 4 times already.

I am free Friday night, Saturday morning or next Mon/Tue between 5-10 pm est. Let me know when you want to play.

Usually after 9 EDT. Sunday or Monday would work well for me.

Can you play our game tonight, Talisker?

Should be able to, but the wife gets veto power :)